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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

In case anyone hasn’t told you today, I’m beautiful.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

I love sleeping. You don’t spend any money and you don’t miss anyone.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

There are many people who don’t like me and I am one of them.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

Dear deodorant manufacturers, please stop writing “72h” on your products. There are people who believe that. And they sit next to me on the bus. Always. All of them!

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

I try to shoot all of my garbage into outer space, but usually it just lands in my neighbor’s backyard.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

My mind is like someone dumped the entire junk drawer on a trampoline.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

I always leave my friends voicemails in case they suddenly decide to be a musician and need an interlude.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

The most expensive clothing you’ll ever wear is a hospital gown.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

I like to swear a lot so that people will keep their kids away from me.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

Weekends are getting shorter and shorter. You blink and it’s already Sunday 5pm.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Dec 30, 2025

3,882

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on TikTok:

Why is incognito mode always associated with freaky shit? I use it to search up very obvious questions, so there’s no record of me looking dumb.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I recently saw a documentary about dinosaurs. They simply ate everyone they didn’t like. I like that concept.

Spotted on X:

You know you’re over 50 when you have “upstairs Ibuprofen” and “downstairs Ibuprofen”.

Just shared via Snapchat:

“There are lots of benefits to working here. We have fun social events and activities after work!” And what are the benefits?

Broadcasted on Twitch:

I haven’t exaggerated in like a million years.

Going viral on Twitch:

Need to clean the fridge, so I’m going to do the responsible thing and drink wine instead.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

I always have a bad connection in my head when someone tries to explain a card or board game to me.

Making waves on Threads:

How is it still this week?

Seen just now on Reddit:

Bold of me to constantly use the phrase “no worries!” when I am, in fact, constantly full of many worries.

Spotted on Twitch:

My soul leaving my body when the lecturer says “let’s hear from someone who hasn’t spoken yet”

Funny surreal quotes

Funny surreal quotes 🌈✨ twist reality in the quirkiest ways, blending whimsy with a dash of the unexpected 🤪🌀. They tickle your brain 🧠 and spark laughter 😂 by turning ordinary moments into delightfully bizarre adventures. Ready to dive into a world where logic takes a coffee break ☕️ and imagination runs wild? Let’s get surreal and giggle together! 🎉🎭

New funny surreal quotes 👇

Parenting a teenager is surreal because you’ll be sitting there, and some dude who is much taller than you will walk around the corner and ask you how to open a popcorn bag.

0

2 months ago

around, ask, awkward, awkward question, bag, corner, difference, dude, family, family life, funny moment, height, height difference, humor, life, moment, much, open, parenting, popcorn, question, sitting, snack, surreal, taller, teenager, walk
I wasn’t sure why the doctor prescribed LSD for my constipation, until I saw a dragon and shit myself.

0

2 months ago

bizarre, constipation, doctor, dragon, drug, drug experience, experience, hallucination, humor, i, LSD, myself, prescription, saw, shit, sure, surreal, unexpected, why
I’m not your dream woman. I am the sudden shouting of ravens that you hear when you enter a part of the forest you shouldn’t have.

0

2 months ago

am, dream, dream woman, enter, forest, hear, humor, i, nature, raven, ravens, shouting, sudden, surprise, surreal, unexpected, warning, woman
You can’t convince me that 2020 didn’t open a portal to hell that we’re still living in.

0

3 months ago

2020, apocalypse, chaos, convince, hell, humor, living, me, open, pandemic, portal, still, surreal, year

All funny surreal quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

78 shares on Reddit this month:

Saw a big spider crawl into my closet last night. He’s probably in there trying on all my clothes, acting like he’s me.

42 shares on Messenger this month:

How are there low birth rates when everyone here is a big baby?

13 shares on LinkedIn this month:

It’s not even a crush. it’s just unsupervised hope.

17 shares on TikTok this month:

Thought you guys should know this was only Monday. It’s also still Monday.

98 shares on Slack this month:

Home is where the Wi-Fi connects automatically and no one chews loud.

39 shares on X this month:

My father didn’t want kids, so he had two kids, which was the equivalent of zero kids at the time.

49 shares on Discord this month:

There’ll be a time someone will convince you to watch Game of Thrones. It is very important that you listen to them and watch.

23 shares on Telegram this month:

“Alcohol and beautiful women” is apparently not an appropriate answer when you are asked about your weaknesses in a job interview.

11 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If you think someone has put a spell on you, send me $500 and I’ll get rid of it.

32 shares on Discord this month:

I’ve tasted being the bigger person, I’ve also tasted matching energy. I recommend no contact.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Gonna eat birthday cake all day because it’s someone’s birthday out there, and we’re about to celebrate together, stranger.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite voicemails are those where the person doesn’t leave one.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

One week without chocolate. I can no longer hear anything in my left eye.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Stop asking me if I’m tired. Can’t I just be ugly?

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I would flirt with you, but I’d rather seduce you with my awkwardness.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

The most refreshing way to fight your personal demons is to make demonade.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

There is no physical evidence to say that today is Tuesday, we all just have to trust that someone kept count since the first one ever.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Ah, summer. When my non-consensual relationship with mosquitoes begins.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate taking my pants off at the dentist. So humiliating.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

We are gathered here today because our ancestors didn’t have condoms.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,848

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

My superpower is to wake up more tired than I was when I fell asleep.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

I have a photographic memory, but I’ve run out of film.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

I’m bored, but not “read a book for fun” bored.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

A haunted house but in every room someone is asking you to say a little something about yourself.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

Remember when we were kids and did everything we could to grow up? We were so stupid!

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

On a first date, saying “agree to disagree” every time they share anything about themselves.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

I get jealous when I find someone playing a song I thought only I knew.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

The only thing limiting what you can put in a sandwich is your imagination and the laws of physics.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

Waiting for my wife to approve my new year’s resolution of making independent decisions.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

It’s so funny how you can meet someone randomly online, and they become such an important part of your life. It’d be nicer if they lived closer, though.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Slack:

I did not “try to rob a bank,” I just “aspired” to obtain more money.

Spotted on Instagram:

In these difficult times, it’s important to remember that cheese exists.

Going viral on Pinterest:

It’s called shitposting, Your Honor. You should try it sometimes; it’s liberating.

Seen just now on X:

Let’s play a game called you bring me food and I eat it.

Making waves on Messenger:

You’d think someone in the room would’ve spoken up like “hey guys, maybe it’s a bad idea to make one ring to rule them all”.

Going bananas on WeChat:

The only ‘survival horror’ game I play is called ‘getting up every day and leaving the house.

Trending via Discord:

My sleep schedule and I are not on speaking terms.

Trending via Pinterest:

You look like the kind of person who would hit rock bottom and then start drilling.

Spotted on Discord:

Traveling long distance without earphones feels like you’re serving a jail term.

Trending via Messenger:

I need you to put the fun in refund!

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