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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

Starting all my work emails today with, “to whom it’s about to concern”.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

Sometimes being alive feels like being a pornstar who is asexual.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

“I asked ChatGPT.” Okay, well, I asked Jesus Christ of Nazareth.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

Called off work. Feeling fat and wearing jeans.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not hungover, it’s just Tuesday.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

Driving to work, and I just reached down to touch my leg to make sure I have pants on.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

Massage therapist asked how I felt about chiropractics and I told her the guy who invented it says he learned it from a ghost, and that shut the conversation down pretty quick.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

Are you the sun? Because you need to stay about 92,960,000 miles away from me.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

Not to brag, but I just walked upstairs and remembered why.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

I want to be like a caterpillar. Eat a lot, sleep for a while, and then wake up beautiful.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,340

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Has anyone else noticed that it’s hard to do things when you don’t want to?

Making waves on Telegram:

Soccer: I love when they hold up the sign and a brand new, beautiful boy takes the place of a dirty, sweaty, ruined one.

Breaking via Slack:

Men make money to be with a woman, but women make money to not have to be with a man. Clock it!

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Dating is the process of meeting someone until you find out what’s wrong with them.

Just shared via Discord:

I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right louder.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Another day of explaining to mom that New York is big and the footage she saw wasn’t shot on my street.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Where can one find a sugar daddy? Asking for a friend.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Even in my early 20’s, I was diagnosed with late stage 40’s.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

That boring, introverted life you’re living has probably protected you from a lot of harm and bad experiences.

Funny surreal quotes

Funny surreal quotes 🌈✨ twist reality in the quirkiest ways, blending whimsy with a dash of the unexpected 🤪🌀. They tickle your brain 🧠 and spark laughter 😂 by turning ordinary moments into delightfully bizarre adventures. Ready to dive into a world where logic takes a coffee break ☕️ and imagination runs wild? Let’s get surreal and giggle together! 🎉🎭

New funny surreal quotes 👇

All funny surreal quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

18 shares on Pinterest this month:

Even at my most evil, I’m considerate.

80 shares on Threads this month:

Can we skip to the rich part?

78 shares on Snapchat this month:

The grass is only greener on the other side because of all the bullshit on it.

46 shares on Pinterest this month:

There’s nothing worse than accidentally becoming an important person at your job.

22 shares on Reddit this month:

I was very disappointed when I found out drinking alcohol doesn’t actually kill brain cells, I was hoping to join a political party one day.

72 shares on Messenger this month:

Just because I’m up sharing posts at 7 a.m. doesn’t mean I’m up. Don’t call my phone.

39 shares on Telegram this month:

Be nice today, the world is on fire.

79 shares on Discord this month:

Dogs come when they’re called; cats take a message and get back to you later.

20 shares on Messenger this month:

There’s nothing like sitting by an open fire and watching the evidence burn.

35 shares on Messenger this month:

The real advantage of being self-employed is that you don’t have to go to a Christmas party.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

If I climbed all the way to the top of Mount Everest and looked up, then I’d finally see the top of our family’s weekly laundry pile.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Mini skirts are so cute and fun, like, oops, my ass is out.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m at the stage in life where I stay out of arguments. Even if you say 1+1=5, you’re right. Have fun.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

He died doing what he loved: trying to find out if gang members are ticklish.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Being a dog must be wild, everyone you meet is your masseuse.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Hey! Sorry I missed your text, I am processing a non-stop 24/7 onslaught of information with a brain designed to eat berries in a cave.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Not now, I’m busy doing tax crimes on my abacus.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Some days you feel like a hotel light. You’re there, but you don’t have enough energy to really do anything.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve arrived like the sun: blinding, necessary, and impossible to ignore.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Maybe God will gift me a boyfriend for my birthday this year.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,381

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

I tried being the bigger person but all it got me was type 2 diabetes.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

Imagine the carnage at an IKEA team building event.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

You’re an atheist? Well, I don’t believe you. See how you like it.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

Hey dude, I recently became omniscient, and well, you fell off in every universe.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

Santa saw your Facebook posts. This year you’re getting a dictionary.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

If the USA is so great, why did someone make the USB?

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

I’m glad cars were invented. Imagine riding a horse at 3 a.m., coming back from the club.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

How do I get my glasses prescription placed in my windshield?

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

I’d like to have a word with the groundhog before he starts working this year.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

Girl, you gotta try this healing potion. It’s called beer.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via YouTube:

I don’t want to adult anymore. Don’t even want to be human. I want to be a goat. Jump around randomly, eat what I want, and head-butt anyone who annoys me.

Trending via Instagram:

I hate it when I do the math about where my money went, and it all adds up. No one robbed me; I didn’t lose it. It was really all me.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Hope this email finds you moonwalking out of work early.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Having an exorcism, but only because the demon requested it.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Mirror, mirror on the wall, why so many fingerprints?

Just landed via Slack:

The bowling ball actually hangs out with the pins after work. There isn’t beef there.

Seen just now on Telegram:

A bathrobe is being naked with plausible deniability and pockets.

Breaking via Telegram:

For Thanksgiving don’t ask me about my life, just pass me the bottle.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but your clothes are still in the washing machine.

Trending via Slack:

I’ve come to the conclusion that my guardian angel is very possessive about me.

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