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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

I’ll let you guys know if the psych ward has wifi.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

The local casino is hosting a speed dating event. Just what every woman needs, a new boyfriend with a gambling problem.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

The fact that I exist irritates me at least once a day.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

Sorry boys, but I’ve already got my eyes on a guy who’s not interested.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

All I’m dealing with is broken people. Lord, if I’m a mechanic, please tell me.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

Can’t wait for the day off from work so I can sit on the couch at home and stare at the TV screen while thinking about work.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

The heart wants what it wants, but it’s not the only organ that has a vote.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

Liquor store clerk: “Do you need help?” Me: “Yes, but I decided to come here instead.”

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

Please, if you ever offer me a snack and I say no, ask me again, I didn’t mean it the first time.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

Me, after skipping the tutorial: how the hell do you play this game?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,584

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

Do you also have teenagers whose styling motto is: freeze to death for coolness?

Trending via Pinterest:

It’s always a huge relief when I’m reading a list of symptoms of a deadly disease, and it says unexplained weight loss.

Trending via YouTube:

The first two drinks don’t count if you have social anxiety, they just turn you into a normal person.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

As someone who lives on earth, rising sea levels are alarming. But as someone who has always wanted to be a mermaid, I’m intrigued.

Just landed via Reddit:

Today, I’m going to give it my almost.

Seen just now on Telegram:

She’s probably just not using her phone right now for the first time ever in her whole life.

Live now on TikTok:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I didn’t want to go to work tomorrow morning.

Shared recently on Reddit:

When I was a kid there were two sure ways to die, natural causes and talking back to your parents.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Wow, another wooden ball. Would it kill avocado makers to put a different toy in there?

Broadcasted on X:

I grew up with six brothers. That’s how I learned to dance: waiting for the bathroom.

13 Funny teaching quotes

More funny teaching quotes 👇

Shoutout to drug dealers for teaching the metric system to Americans.

3 months ago

America, dealer, drug, drug dealer, education, humor, irony, metric, metric system, shoutout, system, teaching
Part of fatherhood is becoming an expert in some obscure topic and teaching it to your children who stopped listening 30 minutes ago.

3 months ago

30, children, expert, fatherhood, humor, listening, minutes, obscure, obscure topic, parenting, teaching, topic
There are days when trying to control your class is like trying to hug a tornado.

3 months ago

challenge, chaos, class, control, days, education, hug, humor, teaching, tornado, trying

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All funny teaching quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Social Media Stars ⭐

20 shares on Threads this month:

People who say “teamwork makes the dream work” are the reason that some people want to punch other people in the face.

14 shares on X this month:

The way my phone’s facial recognition pretends not to recognize me, you’d think I dated it.

38 shares on Twitch this month:

Everyone’s gangsta till you’re waiting on your dog to poop.

28 shares on Messenger this month:

Petition to make weekends longer. Two days isn’t enough.

82 shares on Reddit this month:

Dearest, I beg of you, sleep properly and go for walks.

54 shares on Telegram this month:

If you don’t have a favorite spatula yet, you still have some growing up to do.

35 shares on Slack this month:

It takes so much energy to go inside a Walmart.

82 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I hate it when I do the math about where my money went, and it all adds up. No one robbed me; I didn’t lose it. It was really all me.

39 shares on Messenger this month:

When people say they’re speechless, I always hope they mean it, but they never stop talking.

28 shares on Facebook this month:

If you compliment me, my glasses fog up.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

Deeply unfair of people to assume I have my life together just because I’m boring.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

Microdosing Christmas by being present.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

To all the people with grammatical issues, don’t worry, I also have problems with badly timed periods.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

We need a holiday at the end of every summer that honours all the women who wore sundresses.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

Thank God they have medical marijuana in this state. I need it for my joints.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

“We’re the only species that drinks milk after infancy, dairy is bad for you!” We’re also the only species that drinks peach mango pineapple spirulina kale smoothies, Karen. Let me eat my cheese in peace.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

I don’t think you all understand. If Taylor Swift didn’t have a private jet, she’d be Taylor Slow.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

Accidentally said “normal” when they asked what milk I wanted at the leftist cafe.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

Just a little reminder to laugh as much as you can, stay hydrated, and don’t let shitty people kill your vibe.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

Doomscrolling: because who doesn’t love anxiety as a hobby?

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Twitch:

When you realize your punishments as a kid (stay home, take a nap, no junk food, go to bed early) are now your goals as an adult.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Just checked my bank account. Looks like everyone’s getting well wishes for Christmas.

Just landed via Telegram:

You honestly gotta believe in yourself so much that it’s borderline delusional.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Stretching is not enough. I need to be rolled through a pasta machine.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Tech bros are frequently wrong but never in doubt.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

“I’m pretty good with money unless I leave my house or have access to the internet.”

Shared recently on Facebook:

I am not someone you have to entertain if you invite me, because I will have canceled.

Just landed via Slack:

If you’re offended by bacon, the United States of America isn’t for you.

Seen just now on Threads:

This football season, we need to bring back getting drunk and calling in to your team’s local radio show after the game. Such a lost art.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Is it cool if I come into your life and just never leave, like a stray cat?

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Activity Log ✨

13 Funny teaching quotes

More funny teaching quotes 👇

Shoutout to drug dealers for teaching the metric system to Americans.

Part of fatherhood is becoming an expert in some obscure topic and teaching it to your children who stopped listening 30 minutes ago.

There are days when trying to control your class is like trying to hug a tornado.

All funny teaching quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨