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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

The second date is you watching me parallel park and trying not to have a stroke.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

We literally used to write an essay by hand.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

Nobody could stop me if I wasn’t tired all the time.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

Actually, this email could’ve been a meeting. We could’ve spent an hour on the clock talking shit and gossiping. Someone could’ve brought bagels.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

Whenever I get up my cat gets up too and then yells at me like it’s my fault she decided we have to do this together.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

The only exercise I done last month was running out of money.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

Don’t fall for me — I’ll treat you right, and you’ll get bored and cheat.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

Men are like dogs. They’re actually cute, but having my own would be too much work for me.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

The cheapest way to fly is off the handle.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

Dear brain, please finally learn the difference between hunger and boredom. I’m getting fat.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,442

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Pinterest:

I never learned to swim because I didn’t think it would ever be more than an hour since I last ate.

Broadcasted on Threads:

90% of parenting is just thinking about when you can lie down again.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Losing jewelry is a different type of hurt.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I really understand why boomers text with ellipses between everything… it feels so good…

Just shared via WeChat:

The feminine urge to be the most feared witch in the village.

Freshly posted on X:

I was an ugly baby. It’s been downhill since then.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

You have one week to ask me to be your Valentine. Requests must be in the form of poetic verse written in your blood.

Spotted on Messenger:

Toddlers will take your last nerve, deep fry it and eat it for breakfast.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I call my smoke detector Gordon Ramsay, because every time I cook it screams at me.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

There are so many people going to hell. I’m thinking of investing in some property there.

57 Funny thanks quotes

Funny thanks quotes are the secret ingredient to spice up your gratitude game with a dash of humor and a wink 😉. Whether you’re thanking a friend for their epic dance moves or just appreciating the barista for that perfect coffee ☕, these quotes will have everyone chuckling while feeling appreciated 😂. Perfect for cards, texts, or social media posts, they’re a delightful way to say thanks with a giggle! 🎉

New funny thanks quotes 👇

For even more funny thanks quotes, hit next 👇

All funny thanks quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

58 shares on Telegram this month:

Are you http? Because I’m :// without you.

59 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m not deleting my Twitter, I was here before Elon.

88 shares on Threads this month:

I applied for a job and got it, and now I really have to go there. Crap!

54 shares on Telegram this month:

I do not like how Netflix threatens to start the movie while I’m just tryna read the description. Like, please, you’re making me anxious.

16 shares on WeChat this month:

My doctor told me to try a milk bath. Adding the Cinnamon Toast Crunch was my idea.

42 shares on Pinterest this month:

No, don’t worry about him, babe. That’s just my soulmate.

79 shares on TikTok this month:

Horoscope: You will give blood generously this week, but it won’t be your idea.

63 shares on TikTok this month:

Hey there, Delilah, what’s it like in new orc city?

71 shares on Snapchat this month:

Any room can be a rage room if you just give me a minute.

63 shares on Snapchat this month:

Just got some minutes of cardio trying to pick up an ice cube from the kitchen floor.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

If I’m too much, go find less. I’m not running a clearance sale.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing I do for money is passion-based. It’s just pure hatred for being broke.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

If painting yourself into a corner was considered art, I’d be Michelangelo.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

That sound when you close the cupboard and hear something fall inside, that’s the sound of somebody else’s problem.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Love when people summon Grok and there’s no reply. He just doesn’t care sometimes.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

That gap between Christmas and New Year’s when you can’t tell what day of the week it is.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

The Recipe for Disaster in me, recognizes the Appetite for Destruction in you.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Sobriety: because my standards got tired of lowering themselves.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Leaving out milk and cookies for Santa is literally making an offering to a deity.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Three drinks in and that skateboard outside is looking rideable.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,475

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

It was the worst of times, it was the worst of times.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

Don’t donate your plasma. It’s a big scam, and they’re just using it to make TVs.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

The difference between a hippo and a zippo is that one is really heavy and the other is a little lighter. Thank you and good night.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

Imagine earning a science degree then having to be a meteorologist who announces the prophecy of a groundhog.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

I wish I could invoice people for wasting my time.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

Spotify has got it all wrong, the hottest single of the year is me.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

Companies post open positions online and then ask you why you applied to them.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

People who remember to drink water, what’s that like?

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

Cannabis has many benefits. For example, it makes you retarded. But in addition, it also makes you lazy. No worries though, it also makes you fat and insane.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

Imagine if all the money spent on AI was spent on trains.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Discord:

Stomach: I will now demonstrate a blue whale’s mating call.

Going viral on Messenger:

The prettier you are, the weirder it gets.

Live now on Telegram:

I talk a lot of shit for someone who is startled by my own toast popping up while I’m watching it. Every. Single. Time.

Breaking via Snapchat:

My brain is on airplane mode today.

Making waves on Twitch:

Knowing I’ve been called crazy, but never ugly, is how I sleep at night.

Just landed via Reddit:

I’m glad cars were invented. Imagine riding a horse at 3 a.m., coming back from the club.

Spotted on YouTube:

I woke up again, it’s pathetic how much death fears me.

Spotted on Discord:

Someone asked me if I had plans for the fall. It took me a moment to realize they meant “Autumn,” not the collapse of civilization.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Is losing your mind a hobby?

Just landed via TikTok:

Mid-life crisis? No, no, mid-day crisis. Something happens every day.

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