Funny quotes thing

189 Funny thing quotes

If we were both crows, I’d bring you shiny things.

Funny Quotes Mar 27, 2025

Don’t worry, nobody noticed the weird thing you did. They’re too busy with the weird thing you said.

Funny Quotes Mar 19, 2025

The closest thing I’ve had to a personal trainer is the ice cream truck that drove past my house.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

People say “go big or go home” like going home is a bad thing. Heck yeah, I want to go home, and I’ll have a nap when I get there.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

Terrible things can happen if you go camping. For starters, you could want to go camping again.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

I’m sorry, but when you call me ‘batshit crazy’ it’s almost starting to sound like you think it’s a bad thing!

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

I miss being the age where the most devastating thing in the world was when my sandwiches got cut into squares instead of triangles.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

The best thing about living with my parents is being woken up four minutes before my alarm to be told my alarm is about to go off.

Funny Quotes Mar 17, 2025

The nice thing about getting older is that you don’t even have to be drunk to fall in the bushes.

Funny Quotes Mar 17, 2025

If you step on the back of my shoe and it comes off, I will do the same thing to your head.

Funny Quotes Mar 17, 2025

Carrots are a great thing to eat when you’re hungry, and want to stay that way.

Funny Quotes Mar 17, 2025

Boys are disgusting. Can’t believe I like these things.

Funny Quotes Mar 17, 2025

Women only want one thing and it is to walk down a dimly-lit cobblestone street with the devil.

Funny Quotes Mar 16, 2025

They should invent a good thing that happens.

Funny Quotes Mar 8, 2025

They say there’s no such thing as a stupid question, but then they’ll go and wake you up to ask if you’re asleep.

Funny Quotes Feb 25, 2025

The only thing we need to bring back is duels.

Funny Quotes Feb 25, 2025

The only thing I gained this year is weight.

Funny Quotes Feb 25, 2025

Autocorrect is like a tiny person inside your phone that sometimes gets drunk and says the dumbest things.

Funny Quotes Feb 25, 2025

One day I’ll do amazing things. Today I’ll be satisfied if I don’t spill food on my lap.

Funny Quotes Feb 25, 2025

Need to clean the fridge, so I’m going to do the responsible thing and drink wine instead.

Funny Quotes Feb 22, 2025

Becoming an adult was the worst thing I’ve ever done.

Funny Quotes Feb 19, 2025

The hottest thing a man can do is exactly what he said he was going to.

Funny Quotes Feb 18, 2025

It’s like winter is mad and keeps storming out, then coming back yelling ‘and another thing!’

Funny Quotes Feb 17, 2025

One thing I love about the internet is seeing some of the most hateful people posting inspirational quotes.

Funny Quotes Feb 15, 2025

Jump to recipe is the closest thing we have to teleportation.

Funny Quotes Feb 14, 2025