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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

When you drink red wine from a cup, it looks like fruit tea and you are also admired by others for your healthy lifestyle.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

Are you my pinky toe, because I will bang you on all my furniture.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

The laundromat should give you XP and ranks like “Slimelord” and “Glunkfather,” based on how dirty your clothes are.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

I find as I get older it’s the little things that bring me joy. Like embarrassing my children.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

The 70s, 80s, and 90s were the best decades – so many memories, no evidence.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

Needlenose in HR says we can’t use nicknames anymore.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

You should be allowed to leave work early if you are really in love.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

Alexa, turn off the planet.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

I thought Game of Thrones was a pooping contest for men.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

If you get cremated after you die, you can be put into an hourglass and still participate in family game nights.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,847

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Twitch:

I’m not fat. I’m just easy to see.

Making waves on X:

This Monday could have been an email.

Live now on Pinterest:

Had calamari for the first time ever, and it wasn’t that bad. Maybe I’ll try marriage next.

Shared recently on X:

Sometimes, when I need a really good night’s sleep, I call my burrito guy to come over and tuck me in.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

The next man who speaks to me will be sacrificed to the gods for a bountiful harvest.

Making waves on Messenger:

My kids had to work extra hard this morning but they were able to get the clean house back to it’s normal messy state just in time for the guests to arrive.

Seen just now on WeChat:

This Christmas, get her the gift that’ll last a lifetime. Give her a tortoise.

Seen just now on TikTok:

If you’re alone on Thanksgiving, venmo me $25 and I’ll call and ask you when are you gonna get a “real” job and give me grandchildren.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Work is the worst video game ever.

Spotted on Slack:

I used to have this mental illness, where I thought putting your heart and soul into a relationship would make it work.

Home » Funny Tonight Quotes

45 Funny tonight quotes

Funny tonight quotes are the perfect way to sprinkle some laughter 🌟 and good vibes 🌙 on your evening plans! Whether you’re chilling solo or hanging with friends, these witty lines will have you giggling 😂 and ready to make tonight unforgettable. Get ready to turn any ordinary night into a hilarious adventure filled with smiles 😄 and endless fun!

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All funny tonight quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

31 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Having children is like living in a frat house – nobody sleeps, everything’s broken, and there’s a lot of throwing up.

88 shares on Threads this month:

If being hydrated is such a great thing, why does it feel like my bladder is pissed off?

92 shares on Snapchat this month:

The difference between the Olympic village and a normal village is that not everyone in the Olympic village is related to each other.

43 shares on Threads this month:

Let’s see how long my Monday slump lasts this time. Last week it was until Friday.

81 shares on WeChat this month:

Just had a crazy revelation: you can eat in the airport after your flight, too.

48 shares on Slack this month:

Interviewer: “What did you learn from your previous job?” Me: “That I need a new job.”

99 shares on Facebook this month:

My psych professor asked if we’d heard of Pavlov. I said, “It rings a bell.” No one laughed; I’m too witty for this class.

10 shares on WeChat this month:

In my defense, Your Honor, I grossly misunderstood the meaning of Boxing Day.

61 shares on Pinterest this month:

How soon into a new relationship should you let her know you’re an idiot?

52 shares on Facebook this month:

Text her when the moon looks pretty.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I knew the date was going well when we shared a glass of gravy with two straws.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Having a daughter is like having a little broke best friend who thinks you’re rich.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

What if aliens watch our movies about aliens and then invade accordingly in hopes of fitting in with our culture?

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m cold! That’s not goose bumps anymore, that’s woodchip wallpaper.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine you go bowling by yourself and you go sit down, but it’s your turn again.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Googled my symptoms and it turns out it’s just the politics.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Shaved my bush and went down a pants size.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Do you ever find yourself just thinkin’ about bread?

11 folks are currently checking 👀

“Please feel free to ignore this email!” Way ahead of you, buddy.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I love to see “pan-fried” on a menu. I hate food that’s fried in a shoe.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,891

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

Keep your friend’s toast and your enemy’s toaster.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

If you lift the cat off the couch and it sounds like Velcro, then it didn’t want to leave.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

I do not support all women. Some of you are very mean for no reason.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

No one suddenly needs anything more than a kid whose mom has just sat down and gotten comfortable.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

Because of my looks, everyone only wants one thing from me, that I leave them alone.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

If your boyfriend insists he rolls everywhere because it’s ‘faster than walking’, you may be dating a gamer.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

Situationships are just you pretending you’re okay with getting used until they find someone they actually like.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

I don’t like to call it a xenomorph — I prefer the term “the alien from Alien.”

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

Is it just me, or does anybody else get excited about cancelling plans?

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

I love to sleep, I wish I could get paid to sleep.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Instagram:

I need to consult the woods about this.

Spotted on Telegram:

I’m not a fan of camping, if I wanted to sleep outside I wouldn’t pay my mortgage.

Spotted on Facebook:

I don’t have gray hair, I have wisdom highlights.

Trending via WeChat:

I love when I clean my whole apartment just to sit in it like a Victorian widow waiting for bad news.

Spotted on Reddit:

Panda bears are proof that it’s okay to be kind of an idiot as long as you’re super adorable.

Just shared via Facebook:

It’s beginning to cost a lot like Christmas.

Making waves on YouTube:

They should invent a man who is being genuine when he says things to me.

Just landed via Facebook:

I wonder if that football guy will be at the Taylor Swift game again today.

Going viral on X:

I have a man cold. Goodbye, world. Tell my story.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Seeing a grown man stumble when the train moves is disgusting. How will you provide for anyone?

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