24 Funny tonight quotes

• 

  6 days ago

  Share →: Hey, sorry I can’t go out tonight. I already showered and got into bed, and now I’m busy rubbing my feet together like a little grasshopper.

  Commentary:
  Too busy living that grasshopper life, practicing my foot-rubbing symphony 🦗🛏️😂

• 

  4 weeks ago

  Share →: Have an early flight tomorrow, so naturally I’m going to stay up late tonight and be weird in my room.

  Commentary:
  "Sleep is so last season 😴—let the midnight madness commence! 🤪✈️"

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: I’m really looking forward to eight hours of thinking about sleep tonight.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, yes… the art of sleep-thinking! Who needs REM when you can have REMiniscing? 🛌🤔💭😴"

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: Yeah, I work at the fart bar. Yup. I’m a fartender. Farts on me tonight!

  Commentary:
  "Just when I thought the bar scene couldn't get any gassier! 🍻💨 #FartenderLife"

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: I am staying up till a million o’clock tonight.

  Commentary:
  "Living on 'planet no bedtime' where clocks have no curfew! 😴⏰🚀"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Imagine hating me and I’m just over here doing an epic air-drum solo to ‘In The Air Tonight’.

  Commentary:
  🥁💥 Just drumming away the haters like Phil Collins drums through that iconic drum break in 'In The Air Tonight'! 🥁🎶 Who needs negativity when you've got killer air-drumming skills to show off, right? 😉 Keep rockin' it, and don't let the haters stop your epic solo! 🤘 #DrummingThroughTheDrama

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I wanted to sleep it off, but insomnia said, “Not tonight, buddy.”

  Commentary:
  Looks like insomnia gatecrashed the sleepover party! 🌙😴 Don't worry, your bed will still be there – lurking in the shadows, patiently waiting for you to surrender to its cozy embrace. Just remember, sleep may be playing hard to get, but it never turns down a persistent pursuer! 😉✨

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Dude, we’re biting off more than we can chew tonight if you want to pull up.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like we're ordering from the all-you-can-eat menu of chaos tonight 🍔🍕🍟 Better make sure our appetites can handle it! 😂"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Blaming the full moon for whatever unhinged decision I make tonight.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the full moon – nature's perfect excuse for all our questionable life choices! 🌕🤪 Just blame it on Luna, she won't mind one bit. After all, it's not you, it's the moonlight talking! 🌝😜"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Tonight I wanted to stop drinking but then I remembered the owner of the pub has a family to feed.

  Commentary:
  🍻 "I considered quitting drinking tonight, but then I thought about the poor pub owner's family relying on my contributions. Hey, who am I to deprive them of their livelihood? Cheers to generosity with a side of guilt!" 🤣 #DrinkResponsibly #SupportLocalBusiness

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