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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

Babies first steal your glasses and then bite your nose. I don’t know where they get their reputation.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

I stopped adding “Let me know if you have any more questions!” to my emails because don’t email me again.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

Oops, I accidentally healed too much. I am now uninterested in anyone but mẹ.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

Not being able to see Likes on posts is a tragedy. Love it when two people are arguing and you can see all their little backup dancers.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

I was brought up in the wild by hyenas. Times were hard, food was scarce but we had some great laughs.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

If the apple really doesn’t fall far from the tree, my kids are screwed.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

A camel walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Hey, you can’t bring your own drinks in here!”

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

The bad news is there was a lot of turbulence on my flight this morning. The good news is my phone counted it as steps.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

You can’t ’48 Laws of Power’ me.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

The easiest way to shop with kids is not to.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,294

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Facebook:

Having a car is crazy cause you gotta take it to the car doctor.

Shared recently on Threads:

Many men also have a walk-in closet. For them, it’s just called a floor.

Spotted on Instagram:

I’m not ready to adopt a highway, I can barely raise my own driveway.

Making waves on Discord:

Stop giving kids Bible names but no Bible lessons. Moses tried to rob me last night.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Literally no one understands something more completely than a woman in a meeting who starts a question with “Just so I understand …”

Just shared via Instagram:

Way too many low IQ conspiracy theories floating around. Give me high IQ conspiracy theories.

Making waves on Twitch:

A beautiful woman should never have to send an email. Yet, such tragedies occur every day.

Trending via Facebook:

On the one hand, I’d love to look sexy in a bikini. On the other hand, there’s cake.

Trending via YouTube:

Are you gonna meow for me or what, bro?

Live now on Messenger:

Sorry for widening my eyes and whispering “The prophecy” when we first met.

46 Funny tonight quotes

Funny tonight quotes are the perfect way to sprinkle some laughter 🌟 and good vibes 🌙 on your evening plans! Whether you’re chilling solo or hanging with friends, these witty lines will have you giggling 😂 and ready to make tonight unforgettable. Get ready to turn any ordinary night into a hilarious adventure filled with smiles 😄 and endless fun!

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Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

49 shares on Facebook this month:

Having Christmas off in the middle of the work week and then forcing us to go back to work the next day feels so illegal.

71 shares on LinkedIn this month:

When the weather gets warmer, I will become unstoppable. As long as it doesn’t get too warm, then I will be stoppable.

69 shares on Reddit this month:

Normalise following up to an ignored email with “helllooooooo?”

30 shares on YouTube this month:

I bet this email finds you silently screaming on the inside.

95 shares on X this month:

I’m so single right now, I can’t even spell relayshaunship.

32 shares on X this month:

You know what brought my home value up? Not having an angry man in it.

80 shares on YouTube this month:

College is literally just you, your laptop, and your water bottle against the world.

69 shares on Facebook this month:

A friend’s boyfriend is not my friend… that is a coworker, at best.

58 shares on TikTok this month:

My hobbies include using the TV as background noise while I scroll on my phone.

10 shares on Threads this month:

It’s weird when you realize we are the last generation on this Earth to know what lite was like before social media.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Hey, I noticed you’re completely uninterested in me and couldn’t care whether I live or die. Would you like to build a life together?

14 folks are currently checking 👀

At my age, “getting lucky” means walking into a room and remembering what you came in there for.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

One interesting thing I learned in my thirties is that you can leave a bar before it closes.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

God saw you do that.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I say “long story short” and then tell the story with bonus features.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

When I say I love the ocean, I mean I love the surface. Whatever goes on beneath has my respect, but it’s none of my business.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Seems like it would be really tough being a girl named Molly at a rave.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

My summer body is just my winter body with better lighting.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

“You’re just mad my gut microbiome is way more diverse and complex than yours.”

17 folks are currently checking 👀

The best way to use Twitter will forever be as an observer.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,460

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

I don’t jump to conclusions, I cannonball into them like a boss.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

Everyone is fighting a battle you don’t know about, except for me. I am complaining loudly about my battle. Everybody knows about it.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

Interrupt my sleep and I’ll interrupt your breathing.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

I don’t know what i’m going to be for Halloween, so I’m probably just going to put in a tampon and go as a sexy kite.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

I love when dudes are named Guy. Like, yeah. Exactly.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

Giant-sized bag of candy: I’m resealable. Me: That won’t be necessary.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

Messed up and threw a surprise party for my minimalist friend. Now 25 of us are hiding behind the granite orb.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

Quitting my job to pursue my true passion: not having a job.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

Me to alien: I, too, try to live among people undetected.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

Need a permanent vacuum for unwanted thoughts.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I bet aliens lock their door when they go past earth.

Live now on Instagram:

Instead of calling it the John I’m going to start calling my bathroom the Jim. That way I can say I go to the Jim every morning.

Just landed via TikTok:

Nose so runny it just signed me up for a 10k.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Adulting is realizing you can’t skip work like you skipped class.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Look, ice cream has eggs in it, therefore it is a breakfast food.

Just shared via Twitch:

Harmonicas are basically for people who like to hear music while they spit.

Seen just now on Discord:

I assume my soulmate has sold his soul to the devil.

Trending via Threads:

Schedule your bikini wax for the first thing in the morning, and you won’t need that cup of coffee.

Going bananas on WeChat:

I haven’t lost my virginity because I never lose.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Play the long game? You mean Monopoly?

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