Imagine hating me and I’m just over here doing an epic air-drum solo to ‘In The Air Tonight’. Posted on2 days ago2 days ago
Dude, we’re biting off more than we can chew tonight if you want to pull up. Posted on2 days ago2 days ago
Tonight I wanted to stop drinking but then I remembered the owner of the pub has a family to feed. Posted on2 days ago2 days ago
Sleeping nakey nakey nakey just in case Santa wants a different type of cookie tonight. Posted on5 days ago
You ever wake up in the morning and your first thought is ‘I can’t wait to go to bed tonight’? Posted on6 days ago
Sorry that I cannot come out drinking with you tonight, as I will be drinking at home. Alone. By myself. Posted on6 days ago
Why is there a level 6 for toasters? As if someone thinks: “Tonight I’m really in the mood for ashes with butter!” Posted on7 days ago
Fun fact: The confetti you’ll see in Times Square tonight was made from one CVS receipt. Posted on1 week ago