38 Funny under quotes

• My keys fell in the snow, and now they’re gone forever — time to start a new life under a new name in a warmer climate.

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  3 weeks ago

  climate, forever, gone, humor, keys, life, lost, lost keys, misfortune, name, new, new life, new name, relocation, snow, start, time, under, warmer, warmer climate

• Nothing bad can happen while you’re under a blanket. Just remember that.

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  4 weeks ago

  bad, blanket, comfort, cozy, happen, humor, just, nothing, protection, remember, safety, under, while

• Lounging under the stars is top-tier therapy.

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  2 months ago

  activity, care, lounging, outdoor, outdoor activity, relaxation, self, self-care, star, stars, therapy, under

• Wearing expensive perfume to work feels like such a waste. This should be under someone’s full body weight, not in a corporate setting.

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  2 months ago

  body, corporate, expensive, feels, fragrance, full, humor, office, perfume, scent, setting, should, under, waste, weight, work

• An interviewer asked me how well I can perform under pressure; I said I’m much better at Bohemian Rhapsody.

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  2 months ago

  asked, better, bohemian, Bohemian Rhapsody, humor, i, interview, interviewer, job, job interview, management, me, much, music, performance, pressure, rhapsody, said, singing, stress, stress management, under, well

• Forget hot girl summer, it’s rot girl summer (laying in bed, reading books, laying under layers of soft blankets).

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  2 months ago

  bed, blanket, blankets, book, books, care, cozy, forget, girl, hot, hot girl summer, layers, laying, reading, relaxation, rot, rot girl summer, self, self-care, soft, summer, under

• Remember when downloading a song in under 5 minutes was considered progress?

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  2 months ago

  5, downloading, internet, internet speed, minutes, nostalgia, patience, progress, remember, song, speed, technology, under

• Imagine you blocked me, and I crawled out from under your couch to ask why.

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  2 months ago

  ask, awkward, blocked, comedy, couch, courage, humor, i, imagine, me, playful, quirky, rejection, relationship, under, unexpected, why

• Wanna perform obscene blood rituals under the full moon, or nah?

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  2 months ago

  blood, blood ritual, dark, dark humor, full, full moon, humor, moon, obscene, occult, ritual, rituals, under

• Girls be like, “I know a spot,” then sacrifice you under the full moon.

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  2 months ago

  dating, full, full moon, girl, girls, humor, i, joke, know, lunar, moon, playful, sacrifice, spot, supernatural, under

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