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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

Life can be so beautiful, you just can’t get sober.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

I only attract psychopaths. If you’ve ever had a crush on me, find a therapist.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

I ate my exam paper. Which means that pretty soon I’ll pass the test.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

Seems like it would be really tough being a girl named Molly at a rave.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

Is Mercury in reggaeton?

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

Salsa counts as a serving of vegetables, right?

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

Being gracefully insane is the secret to a happy life.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

You know what brought my home value up? Not having an angry man in it.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

Gonna end every insult with “but in a good way”.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

This tape doesn’t even taste like scotch.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

823 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,985

Funny Quotes Topics

13,927

Funny Quotes Images

10,985

Updated

52 minutes ago

Users Online

3,428

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Women do not snore. The sound they make at night is just the rewinding of the vocal cords.

Live now on Slack:

People believe that they have brains but maybe that’s just inside their heads.

Broadcasted on X:

I’m at that age where someone can call me the wrong name and I’m just like “whatever, I’ll be Dan for a minute”.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Spoiler alert: Monday doesn’t care about your feelings.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I always ask for a receipt so I can keep them in my purse for 86 years.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Boys are disgusting. Can’t believe I like these things.

Just landed via Facebook:

Every time I see an odd screw on the floor somewhere, I think one of my loose ones has finally come out.

Trending via Facebook:

Don’t worry, bro. She’s probably just working on a puzzle right now. She’ll get back to you.

Making waves on Slack:

The most annoying child in our house is that of my mother-in-law.

Shared recently on Slack:

Getting my next boyfriend a flip phone. He doesn’t need anything more.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

823 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,985

Funny Quotes Topics

13,927

Funny Quotes Images

10,985

Updated

52 minutes ago

Users Online

3,422

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

My main career goal at the moment is to find a big bag of money in the woods.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

I wonder if the sun also takes pictures of humanity going down?

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

Any tips on being smart? For someone just getting into thinking.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

I’ve decided to become an organ donor. When I die, I want an elephant to get a new trunk.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

If my wife and I got divorced and moved to separate states, I’m convinced I would still hear her chewing.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

It’s funny how quickly you become difficult if you don’t always just say “yes”.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

Welcome to your 40s! You’re gonna need several doctors, no matter how many apples.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

Are you the sun? Because you need to stay about 92,960,000 miles away from me.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

Doggystyle, so we can both look at the river.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

Signatures are so unserious, just “pinky promise” for adults. Write your name in a silly little way on this very important piece of paper so we that we can send you to jail if you do anything wrong.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Pinterest:

I put my pants on like everyone else. With hope they still fit.

Just landed via TikTok:

Taylor Swift is a psyop designed to get my wife to hum little tunes here and there.

Going viral on Discord:

I haven’t had sex in so long, I forgot how to moan, what if I mess up and bark?

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

If you make it through life without being portrayed in a murder documentary, take the win.

Trending via Snapchat:

If I buy the circus, the monkey will be the manager.

Going viral on Slack:

I wish I could invoice people for wasting my time.

Spotted on YouTube:

Clueless but committed – that’s my vibe.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

All pants are tear away pants if you’re strong enough.

Going viral on WeChat:

If you start liking someone, just block them. Follow me for more relationship advice.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

My husband thinks he can just order me around like he’s one of the cats.

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