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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

Called in, “I can either stay home today and learn to play this accordion or bring it in with me. Your call.”

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

I named my wifi “The Promised LAN” because it always connects, but occasionally leaves you wandering in the desert looking for a better signal.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

Every Microsoft Teams invite you get lowers your testosterone by 1-2%

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

Remember when we were young we wanted to stay up for New Year’s? Now we’re old and cursing because we’re staying up past 9:30 and our entire sleep routine is disturbed.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

Nighty night! Don’t let the horror of existence bite.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

The worst thing you can do when cleaning your house is “sit down for a minute.”

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

Nothing brings neighbors together like a few cops cars in front of another neighbor’s house that no one likes.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

It’s strange being the same age as old people.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

When life closes a door, just open it again. It’s a door, that’s how they work.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

People be like, “I’m a work in progress” and never make any progress.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

765 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,927

Funny Quotes Topics

13,899

Funny Quotes Images

10,927

52 minutes ago

3,424

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Police officer: please step out of your vehicle. Me: after this song, hold on.

Trending via WeChat:

My soul leaving my body when the lecturer says “let’s hear from someone who hasn’t spoken yet”

Going viral on Reddit:

If the earth is so flat, explain why cats haven’t pushed everything off it yet. You can’t.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

“You’re a cougar!” God forbid a woman gives back to the youth.

Spotted on Instagram:

I really appreciate where you’re coming from. I just wish you’d go back.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Pressure washing is like regular washing but with a lot of yelling and tight deadlines.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Hear me out, a Q-Tip that doesn’t bounce out the trash can when you throw it away.

Going viral on YouTube:

Been there, done that. Then, been there several more times, because apparently I never learn.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Maybe I prefer my ducks scattered about.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Sometimes, after I’ve completed a task that wasn’t on my to-do list, I’ll add it and then cross it off for the free dopamine boost.

Home » Funny Waiting Quotes

78 Funny waiting quotes

Funny waiting quotes 😂⏳ are the perfect remedy for those who find themselves twiddling their thumbs or tapping their feet. Whether you’re stuck in a never-ending line or waiting for that long-overdue text, these humorous gems offer a chuckle to lighten the mood. Dive into a world where patience meets hilarity, and discover witty words that transform the mundane into moments of laughter. Because waiting doesn’t have to be a bore, it can be a giggle fest! 🎉

New funny waiting quotes 👇

4 days ago
Share →: Asked a German girl for her number, and I’m still waiting for the rest of the digits. So far, all I have is “nine.”

Commentary:
Guess I'm in for a long wait at the deutsche telekom, hoping the call doesn't end with a "Nein!" 📞😅 #LostInTranslation
6 days ago
Share →: There’s no sadder tableau in all of humanity than the smoker’s terrarium at the airport.

Commentary:
The airport glass cage: where secondhand smoke meets first-class entertainment! 🚬😂✈️
6 days ago
Share →: Everyone’s gangsta till you’re waiting on your dog to poop.

Commentary:
When your dog takes longer to poop than your favorite show takes for a new season… 🍿🐶⏳
6 days ago
Share →: Sure, breakups are hard, but have you ever had to wait for your phone to stop ringing so you can start using it again?

Commentary:
Oh, the heartbreak of waiting for the 'Ring of Shame' to end—my phone just loves holding me hostage! 📞😂📵
7 days ago
Share →: Waiting patiently for something good to happen, like that goat in Jurassic Park.

Commentary:
Still waiting, but at least I don't have to worry about becoming a dinosaur snack! 🦖🐐😅
1 week ago
Share →: 38% of being a dad is sitting in a car, looking at your watch, and waiting for everybody else to come out.

Commentary:
Dad time management: mastering the art of "sit and wait" since the beginning of time ⏱️😂🚗👨‍👧‍👦
2 weeks ago
Share →: Words I heard most when I ran errands with my dad: “Wait in the truck.”

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic 'Truck Time-Out' strategy! 🚚🤔😂 #DadLogic"
3 weeks ago
Share →: The day they handed out patience, I left because it was taking too long.

Commentary:
"Patience? I left that department faster than my WiFi during a storm! 😂🚶‍♂️💨"
3 weeks ago
Share →: How old is older? Because I’m still waiting for this wise thing to kick in.

Commentary:
"Still checking my mailbox for that wisdom delivery! 📦🧠😂"
3 weeks ago
Share →: Unknown numbers will call me, then expect me to talk first. Welcome to the breathing competition.

Commentary:
"Pro tip: Breathe dramatically into the phone to assert dominance 😤📞 #HeavyBreathingChampion"

For even more funny waiting quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny waiting quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

765 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,927

Funny Quotes Topics

13,899

Funny Quotes Images

10,927

52 minutes ago

3,433

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

With a cat on your lap, you deal better with the crap.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

Sorry I can’t help you move, my hands are in permanent air quotes.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

How do I tell someone respectfully to die in a fire?

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

Starting tomorrow whatever life throws at me, I’m ducking so it hits someone else.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

But he was so nice on the prison phone calls.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

Adulting means growing hair in places you’re not supposed to and losing hair in places you don’t want to.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

I used to look for monsters under the bed. Today I know they are behind some people’s fake smiles.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

Who called it a heatwave and not a temperature tantrum?

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

My daily routine. Morning: Feeling tired, cranky and lazy. Afternoon: I could go for a nap. Night: I can’t sleep.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

I’ll never be badass enough to walk around chewing on a toothpick.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Slack:

I might start telling people I’m 10 years older than I actually am just so they can tell me how great I look for my age.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

I don’t have a yoga mat, but I have a Twister mat, and it’s the same thing.

Broadcasted on X:

Forget sexy talk. I want breakfast talk. Describe those waffles to me nice and slow.

Making waves on Instagram:

There are three certainties in life: death, taxes and getting stuck behind a shit driver when you’re late.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Forget Spotify Wrapped. I’m more interested in seeing your Pornhub Wrapped.

Just shared via Slack:

In high school I was voted “most likely to hold a grudge” and I’m still mad about it.

Freshly posted on Slack:

It’s crazy people waste their time with hobbies and family when there are strangers on the internet who need to be argued with.

Trending via Pinterest:

I’ve been blocked, unfollowed, and unfriended, but I’ve never been told I’m bad in bed.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Sunday is my favorite day where I pretend I’m going to do something productive.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Who knew that the hardest part of being an adult is figuring out what to cook for dinner every single night for the rest of your life.

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