Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

Satan: “Would you please stop sacrificing animals to me. I’m not running a zoo down here.”

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

They should remove the sex scenes from movies and then put them all into one big super sex scene movie they can show in theaters at the end of the year.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

All pants are tear away pants if you’re strong enough.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

I have more photos of food on my phone than I do of my children.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

Every Microsoft Teams invite you get lowers your testosterone by 1-2%

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

Using ChatGPT requires you to actually be smart; otherwise, it just regurgitates your dumb takes back to you.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

I really miss my family… sized bag of crisps.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

Spring is what we call the time in between complaining about the cold and complaining about the heat.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

It’s never too early to be sad about having to work the next day.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

My AI-generated girlfriend is hotter than your real girlfriend.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 20, 2026

3,596

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via X:

Just learned in psychology that when a man goes to sleep first, it’s because he’s comfortable around you and wants you to go through his phone.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I’m not like the other girls. I’m a 37 year old man.

Spotted on Reddit:

A hot tub is basically a big bowl of human soup.

Spotted on Messenger:

Has anyone ever considered that Dr. Pepper could be a gynecologist?

Making waves on Slack:

We live in a time where intelligent people are being silenced, so that stupid people won’t be offended.

Trending via Slack:

I’m at the age where I won’t make eye contact with someone because they look like a “talker.”

Making waves on Pinterest:

I really don’t care what happens to me romantically anymore.

Making waves on Slack:

I’ve learned my lesson so many times that I could be a teacher.

Live now on YouTube:

Accidentally wore a blue shirt to Walmart and now I’m in the stockroom showing Sue how to use the forklift.

Just shared via Threads:

It’s okay to feed your car a curb, as a little treat sometimes.

51 Funny waking up quotes

Funny waking up quotes are the perfect way to start your day with a smile 😊 and a chuckle 😂. Whether you’re a morning person or need a little nudge to get out of bed, these humorous snippets are sure to brighten your mornings ☀️. From quirky coffee references to hilarious snooze button battles ⏰, they capture the essence of those groggy moments and turn them into something to laugh about. Get ready to greet the day with giggles!

New funny waking up quotes 👇

You know what part I love about waking up? None of it. Let me sleep!

2 hours ago

humor, i, know, let, love, me, sleep, waking, waking up
Just knowing that I have to get out of bed tomorrow is already annoying and it’s not even dark yet.

3 hours ago

annoying, bed, dark, humor, i, just, morning, sleep, tomorrow, waking, waking up
Waking up early is cool until it starts feeling like you’ve had a long day at 10 a.m.

10 hours ago

am, cool, day, early, fatigue, feeling, humor, long day, morning, relatable, tired, waking, waking up
The most disturbing thing about waking up at 4 a.m. is realizing some people do this on purpose so they can exercise.

11 hours ago

4, 4 a.m., a.m., am, disturbing, early, early riser, exercise, humor, morning, morning routine, most, people, purpose, riser, routine, thing, waking, waking up
My favourite thing about waking up at ridiculous o’clock is the solitude.

16 hours ago

early, early morning, favorite, favorite thing, favourite, morning, morning routine, ridiculous, routine, sleep, solitude, thing, waking, waking up
Waking up early is always beneficial. You just gotta make it past those first 10 minutes of being irritated.

16 hours ago

always, being, benefit, early, humor, irritation, just, minutes, mood, morning, past, waking, waking up
I wish I was waking up and going to the airport.

18 hours ago

airport, going, i, morning, travel, trip, waking, waking up, wish
Another day of waking up cute instead of wealthy, so I guess I have to go to work.

20 hours ago

another, cute, daily, daily life, day, guess, humor, i, life, morning, motivation, waking, waking up, wealthy, work
“I’ve been fantasizing about going back to bed since I woke up this morning.”

21 hours ago

back, bed, fantasy, going, humor, i, morning, procrastination, sleep, tiredness, waking, waking up, woke
My toxic trait is thinking I can nap, then waking up 3 hours later in a parallel universe where I missed everything.

23 hours ago

3, everything, hours, i, later, missed, missing, missing out, nap, parallel, parallel universe, sleep, thinking, time, time warp, toxic, toxic trait, trait, universe, waking, waking up, warp, where

For even more funny waking up quotes, hit next 👇

All funny waking up quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

84 shares on Telegram this month:

I found a box of VHS tapes. I’m a bit nervous about the one that has the label torn off.

89 shares on X this month:

Me gasping and flipping off the vultures as they circle above the running track.

25 shares on Threads this month:

I don’t really do one-night stands, but I will do, like, 3-8 months of a semi-toxic, undefined relationship that wastes my time and ruins my life.

57 shares on Threads this month:

Engagement photo shoots are so funny as a concept. Like girl, we believed you.

52 shares on Pinterest this month:

Weirdos gonna weird.

44 shares on Pinterest this month:

Nothing brings neighbors together like a few cops cars in front of another neighbor’s house that no one likes.

73 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m not moody; I’m just on shuffle.

96 shares on Twitch this month:

Thank you all for attending my final rose ceremony. There will be no roses.

79 shares on Instagram this month:

As a kid, I was worried about randomly disappearing into the Bermuda Triangle forever. As an adult, I’m wondering how I can actually make that happen.

65 shares on Slack this month:

Combining breakfast and lunch: Brunch. Combining wine and dinner: Winner.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

They should invent harmless cigarettes for aura farming purposes.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Somethіng wrong іn your lіfe? There’s a nap for that.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Women swear they be broke… Then, all of a sudden, here comes that Shein delivery.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Say what you want about online meetings, but there are few things more liberating than attending a disciplinary hearing naked from the waist down.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

The Pope is the only employee who never gets to see his boss. Not even at the Christmas party.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Do clouds ever look down on us and say, “This one is shaped like an idiot”?

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Lately I have the attention span of wait what?

9 folks are currently checking 👀

If you breakdance you buy dance.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

The feminine urge to say “ouch” when I bump into things that doesn’t even hurt.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I hope this email finds you at relative peace with the paradox of existence.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,310

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

My ducks are not even remotely in a row. My ducks are in places no duck has ever gone before.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

I’ll be honest. I can’t solve your problems. What I can do is create new, bigger problems that will make your current problems seem quaint by comparison.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

A moment of silence for everything I have to do but am not doing.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

All soups are gazpacho if you’re lazy enough.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

Getting mad when an app updates and changes their format is the new “rearranged grocery store” for me.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

Being a writer means knowing exactly how your story ends, and having absolutely no idea how to get there.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

Probably the most depressed I’ve ever been in my life, except for a bunch of other times.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

I just wish I had the confidence of my husband who thinks everything only takes 5 minutes.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

Gonna run this by my two best friends who are as insane as I am.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

When life shuts a door, open it again. It’s a door. That’s how they work.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Slack:

Turns out my superpower is the ability to go into incredible detail in completely the wrong direction.

Seen just now on WeChat:

My favorite pastime is staying up way later than I should and complaining the next day about how tired I am.

Freshly posted on Slack:

The little umbrella is so unnecessary. Like, my drink is already wet, bro.

Just landed via WeChat:

Calling me ugly isn’t even an insult, because I know already.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

USPS tracking: Step 1: We don’t think it exists. Step 2: Delivered.

Just landed via Instagram:

Every time I blink, it’s Monday again. I can’t live like this.

Going viral on Reddit:

Ok, hear me out: a reality show where billionaire CEOs have to live off of their lowest-paid employees’ salaries for a month.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Currently looking for tickets for the first flight back to the ’90s.

Breaking via TikTok:

Did you get the telepathic message I sent earlier?

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Every email sent to me should end with ‘but if your tummy is hurting, don’t worry about it.’

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