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54 Funny wanted quotes

Wanted to report a YouTube video, but there is no option for “Cringe”, so I just picked “Terrorism”.

3 months ago

Hey man, just wanted to reach out and say I loved how much you drank at my wedding last night.

3 months ago

I bought some old lady reading glasses as a lark, a laugh, and now my eyes don’t hurt. This isn’t what I wanted.

3 months ago

Dating apps? No thanks, if I wanted to talk to someone for hours and accomplish nothing, I’d contact tech support.

3 months ago

My boyfriend always complains that I never smile, but he’s the one who wanted a serious relationship.

3 months ago

Handyman to customer: If I had wanted you to watch me work, I would have become an actor.

3 months ago

I got fired for telling customers if they wanted “smoking or non-smoking”. Apparently, the correct term in the funeral home business is “cremation or burial”.

3 months ago

My parents told me I could be anything I wanted so I became unacceptable.

3 months ago

Today my coworker asked if I wanted to hold her new baby and neither of us were prepared for me saying why?

3 months ago

I’m always happy when I come home from shopping and the note on the table reminds me of what I wanted to buy.

3 months ago

Camping? No, thank you. If I wanted to sleep outside, I wouldn’t pay my mortgage.

3 months ago

I’d like to meet the person who decided that if you wanted to get married fast, it had to be done by Elvis.

3 months ago

Yes, I’ve gained weight. Too many people wanted to have sex with me. It was annoying.

3 months ago

Elliott didn’t care about E.T. He just wanted a flying bike.

3 months ago

Had chicken and egg for dinner because I wanted to eat the whole family.

3 months ago

“You shouldn’t let your cat jump on the counter”, my cat could take out a loan in my name if he wanted to.

3 months ago

I’m going to start walking around in my yard all day in a bathrobe so my neighbors will build that privacy fence I always wanted.

3 months ago

“Left alone” would have been the right answer as a child to the question of what I wanted to be when I grew up.

3 months ago

I never wanted to become one of those adults who just find the music of the younger generation annoying. Nobody could have guessed that the music was just annoying.

3 months ago

Did anyone ask the daylight if it wanted to be saved?

3 months ago