87 Funny wanted quotes

• I exaggerated on my job application and said I wanted to work for a living.

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  2 days ago

  application, employment, exaggerated, exaggeration, humor, i, job, job application, living, motivation, said, wanted, work

• I slept for 11 hours last night, just wanted everyone with kids to know that.

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  3 weeks ago

  everyone, exhaustion, hours, humor, i, just, kid, kids, know, last, night, parent, rest, sleep, wanted

• My boss denied me a raise before my shift today. What’s some music you have never wanted to hear in a coffee shop?

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  3 weeks ago

  before, boss, coffee, coffee shop, complaint, denied, hear, humor, me, music, never, raise, shift, shop, today, wanted, work

• If you ever wanted to know anything about me, just get me a bottle of wine, and you will, in fact, find out in about 10 minutes.

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  3 weeks ago

  anything, bottle, drinking, ever, fact, humor, just, know, me, minutes, personal, socializing, wanted, wine

• Ever since I was a kid, I always knew I wanted to live in a galaxy far, far away.

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  1 month ago

  always, away, childhood, dream, ever, far, far away, galaxy, humor, i, kid, live, sci-fi, space, wanted, wish

• Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve always known I wanted to be a woman with a lot of money when I grew up.

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  1 month ago

  always, ambition, aspiration, childhood, ever, girl, humor, i, little, lot, money, wanted, woman

• My wife just pulled me into the other room, and I thought she wanted to have a serious talk, but she just wanted to give me M&M’s without the kids seeing.

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  1 month ago

  give, humor, i, just, kid, kids, M&M, marriage, me, room, secret, seeing, serious, snack, surprise, talk, thought, wanted, wife

• Accidentally said “normal” when they asked what milk I wanted at the leftist cafe.

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  2 months ago

  accident, accidentally, asked, cafe, humor, i, interaction, leftist, milk, normal, said, social, social interaction, speech, wanted

• Writing cover letters feels soooo “Ever since I was a little boy, I knew I wanted to be an administrative assistant when I grew up.”

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  2 months ago

  administrative, administrative assistant, application, aspiration, assistant, boy, career, career aspiration, childhood, childhood dream, cover, cover letter, dream, ever, feels, humor, i, job, job application, letter, letters, little, wanted, writing

• Ever since I was little, I always knew I wanted to retire.

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  2 months ago

  always, aspiration, childhood, ever, goal, humor, i, life, life goal, little, retire, wanted

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