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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

It’s a little ironic when you consider that the Internet was invented to save time.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

Asserting dominance by starting all my private DMs with “I hope this DM finds you well.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

I have money, then I don’t have money, it all happens so fast!

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

The females who don’t go through phones will definitely find out through dreams.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

When a man gets married he has a moral obligation to scare his wife when he sneezes.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

My version of flirting is looking at someone I find attractive multiple times and hoping they’re braver than me.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

My favorite hobby is withering away.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

You think you’re your own worst critic? Just wait till you have kids.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

Fun Fact: Dove chocolate tastes way better than their soap.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

Sleeping in in winter is really great, you still have about an hour of daylight left before it gets dark again.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1756 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,918

Funny Quotes Topics

14,732

Funny Quotes Images

11,918

Updated

3 minutes ago

Users Online

3,449

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on Threads:

The title of my autobiography is going to be ‘You’d Think I’d Learn By Now, But Nope.’

Live now on Snapchat:

Being complimented by a girl in public is like getting kissed by an angel.

Spotted on Threads:

I get real disrespectful with serving sizes. A bag is not gonna tell me what to do.

Going viral on Slack:

Wine drunk doesn’t even make itself known. You’re just relaxed, and then, all of a sudden, you feel sexier.

Making waves on Reddit:

Most people in your life will come and go but occasionally you’ll meet someone really special who makes you contemplate murder.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I need someone to look at me the way I look at memes.

Just shared via Slack:

Everybody’s back hurts until it’s time to have sexy time.

Just landed via Instagram:

Being famous on social media is like being rich in Monopoly. It’s not real, so calm down.

Just shared via Threads:

My immune system told me it’s a lover not a fighter.

Just landed via Messenger:

In a turn of unexpected events, I need to learn karate by tomorrow morning.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1756 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,918

Funny Quotes Topics

14,732

Funny Quotes Images

11,918

Updated

3 minutes ago

Users Online

3,429

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

They say water is the source of life, which is true because you can’t make coffee without water.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

Doctors who give out lollipops really treat their patients.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

That’s me in the corner, that’s me using Microsoft Word, losing my revision.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

They should invent a January that doesn’t drain your will to live.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

Everybody say a little prayer for my husband, he just told me to calm down.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

Funny thing about zombie movies – they never seem to go after the cameraman.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

Sometimes the voices in my head get bullied by the voices in my stomach.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

Apparently, everyone on the Zoom calls outside my office finds my singing distracting.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

Having to write cover letters is so dumb. Do you really believe my dream ever since I was a little girl was to work for you? No. It was to ride a pony on a funky space rainbow. Grow up.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

It’s a myth that we only use 10% of our brain, but I definitely know people who use less than that.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Pinterest:

If I ever went to jail for murder, it would be for murdering my printer.

Spotted on Messenger:

No wine. No peace. Know wine. Know peace.

Trending via Telegram:

If insomnia were a sport, I’d have endorsement deals.

Reported on X:

I feel sorry for Netflix era kids. They will never know the high stakes adrenaline of running away in an ad break, with the beckoning call of a sibling screaming “It’s ON!” to send you hurdling over furniture to get back in time.

Reported on Threads:

The worst part of my grandfather’s dementia was slowly watching him forget about Dre.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Time Magazine should have a Worst Person of the Year!

Trending via Snapchat:

Just saw two identical twins out in public together. No disrespect to that lifestyle but please keep it private.

Live now on Facebook:

Seems like it would be really tough being a girl named Molly at a rave.

Going viral on WeChat:

To bed then. To bed with you! Guards, take him to my bed!

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

People will name their dog Steve and have two kids named Buddy and Rocket.

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