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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

Phone so dry, I caught myself checking the weather.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

Mud season creeps up on us every year, destroying hearts and minds as well as light grey carpeting.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

“I’m not concerned about Netflix buying Warner Brothers. None of this will matter once we evolve gills and start living underwater.”

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

The unemployed urge to say I love you during a job interview.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

Just once I’d like to hear a doctor say, “Your guess is as good as mine.”

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

My role at Thanksgiving dinner is to Blair Witch it alone in the corner.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

I have a great poker face because I have no idea what’s going on.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

Home is where you can walk around like a bum.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

Wearing expensive perfume to work feels like such a waste. This should be under someone’s full body weight, not in a corporate setting.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

Twitter is fun. You kinda just talk to yourself and sometimes someone replies.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,640

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Facebook:

Hey, man, we’re worshiping a false god later. If you wanna pull up.

Trending via Slack:

Teens don’t know how good they have it with lyrics sites. We used to have to sing shit wrong for years until the truth destroyed us.

Seen just now on Threads:

You look like the kind of person who would hit rock bottom and then start drilling.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I think more people would actually heal from their trauma if they got revenge.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Reoccurring dreams be like: ‘I dunno, here’s a rerun’

Broadcasted on YouTube:

My rapper name would be 2 stressd.

Trending via Slack:

“I’m so grateful that so many things are none of my business.”

Just landed via TikTok:

Be careful when you follow the masses sometimes the M is silent.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Every time you break spaghetti noodles in half, an Italian has a stroke.

Trending via TikTok:

If you can’t handle me at my weirdest, then leave, because it gets weirder.

99 Funny watching quotes

Funny watching quotes 🤣 are like the cherry on top of your favorite comedy show 🍒, adding a sprinkle of laughter to your day! Whether you’re binging your favorite series 📺 or scrolling through a meme-worthy movie list 🎥, these quotes provide the perfect punchline to your viewing experience. Get ready to chuckle, snort, and maybe even snort-laugh as you dive into a world where humor meets entertainment! 😂🎬

New funny watching quotes 👇

Really hate when I’m watching a movie, and I can see that they are acting.

7 days ago

acting, entertainment, hate, humor, i, irony, movie, observation, watching
Women love asking you questions about the movie you both are watching.

7 days ago

asking, both, date, humor, love, movie, question, questions, relationship, watching, woman, women
Nobody declines a call faster than a 3-year-old watching YouTube.

1 week ago

3-year-old, call, child, distraction, faster, humor, nobody, phone, technology, toddler, video, watching, YouTube
People will scroll on their phones for 6 hours a day and wonder how other people can watch a movie every day.

1 week ago

6, daily, daily routine, day, entertainment, every, habit, hours, humor, irony, movie, people, phone, phones, routine, screen, screen time, scroll, time, watch, watching, watching habit, wonder
Watching a movie and using a laser pointer to indicate where my fellow viewers should be looking for an optimal viewing experience.

1 week ago

behavior, entertainment, experience, funny behavior, humor, laser, laser pointer, looking, movie, optimal, optimal viewing, pointer, should, using, viewer, viewing, watching, where
Watching 2+ movies a day to prevent a thought from happening.

1 week ago

2, binge, binge-watching, day, distraction, entertainment, happening, humor, movie, prevent, procrastination, thought, watching
In your 20s, you will be tempted to prove that you’re doing well. It’s important you resist performing for an audience that isn’t watching.

1 week ago

20s, audience, authenticity, doing, growth, important, performing, personal, personal growth, prove, resist, resistance, self-awareness, temptation, watching, well
Turns out I am the autistic one at “movie night,” who thought you’re supposed to actually watch the movie.

1 week ago

actually, am, autism, gathering, humor, i, misunderstanding, movie, movie night, night, social, social gathering, thought, watch, watching, watching movie
Watching a movie and subtitles not syncing is low-key pain.

1 week ago

frustration, movie, pain, subtitle, subtitles, syncing, watching
I do not like how Netflix threatens to start the movie while I’m just tryna read the description. Like, please, you’re making me anxious.

1 week ago

anxiety, anxious, description, entertainment, humor, i, just, making, me, movie, Netflix, please, read, start, streaming, technology, watching, while

For even more funny watching quotes, hit next 👇

All funny watching quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

85 shares on Messenger this month:

Welcome to your 40’s. You now have to second guess your age as you can’t believe you’re that old.

97 shares on Reddit this month:

How come it’s called “thrift store shopping” instead of Goodwill hunting?

15 shares on Discord this month:

You seem really unhinged, we should grab coffee sometime.

42 shares on Telegram this month:

Chickens only make one sound, because they can’t think outside the bawks.

11 shares on X this month:

My rapper name would be 2 stressd.

49 shares on Slack this month:

“I’m not afraid to admit when I’m wrong. For example, I thought it was a good idea to leave the house today, which, as it turns out, was a terrible mistake.”

44 shares on YouTube this month:

Guys with grey in their beards will do that thing you like.

94 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Normalize booing in the workplace.

99 shares on Snapchat this month:

One of the toughest jobs in parenting is serving the inevitable eviction notice on your kid’s pillow fort.

78 shares on Slack this month:

They should invent a day where it all works out.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

“I bought this while depressed” should be an acceptable reason to get a full refund on a return.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to your 50s: You’re not attracted to anyone who likes you.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I was brought up in the wild by hyenas. Times were hard, food was scarce but we had some great laughs.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Cleaning the rocks of the earth one load of my kids’ laundry at a time.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Google Maps should start screaming the more wrong turns you make.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Pretending I’m asleep so my boss has to carry me to the meeting.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

If you keep the house dark, not only do you save on electricity, but it also looks cleaner.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Jurassic Park came out decades ago, and now I feel like a fossil.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

People will be like “there is no right or wrong way to do it” until you do it the wrong way.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

They say we learn from our mistakes, that’s why I’m making as many as possible. Soon I’ll be a genius.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,501

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

Hawk o the mornin tuah

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

Technically, all the money I have ever spent on food has been flushed down the toilet.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

Tonight I wanted to stop drinking but then I remembered the owner of the pub has a family to feed.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

Stop expecting people to be as cool as you, it’s a recipe for disappointment.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

Time is precious, waste it wisely.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

I highly recommend having hobbies, it distracts you from falling in love unnecessarily.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

It’s amazing how much I accomplish around the house right before someone is coming over.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

Brainwashing is always considered terrible and horrible. But there are many brains that would benefit from a wash.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

There’s a cougar warning in my neighborhood, but apparently it’s just a big cat. I bought a case of wine coolers for nothing.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

There’s something so romantic about getting McDonald’s with a lover. Intimate perhaps.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I’m 27 and a half. I should be on my first divorce by now.

Breaking via WeChat:

The Gulf of Mexico should’ve been renamed to Sea Señor.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Not a religious man but I do say a short prayer whenever I open a gas station restroom door.

Breaking via Slack:

Porn actresses envy the look on my face when I clean my ear with a cotton bud.

Shared recently on Facebook:

The dumbest people have the loudest opinions on politics.

Trending via WhatsApp:

The sun is so successful because it has the perfect bedtime and morning routines.

Breaking via Reddit:

You looked so beautiful and combative as we were detained for questioning.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I hope you all get laid soon, for your own mental health.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

A peaceful transition of power happening between me and this red wine just now.

Trending via Discord:

I learned that when dogs lean against you it’s their version of hugging and now every time my dog leans against me my eyes start leaking.

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