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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

When you’re a snowman, everything smells like a carrot.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

I just finally discovered what’s wrong with my brain: on the left side there is nothing right and on the right side, there is nothing left.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

ADHD is: being pretty good at basically anything you want to be, and absolutely terrible at anything you need to do to live.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

I suffer from that syndrome where your neutral expression makes it look like you’re an angry serial killer.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

Remind the demons under your bed that you’re the landlord, raise the rent.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

The worst is when it’s too late to take a nap but too early to go to bed.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

Do goalies ever get lonely during a game?

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

ALF is what happens when you are high on drugs in the 80s.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

“You have reached your monthly article limit,” – a website you’ve never accessed before today.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,447

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on X:

Satan: “I’d tell you to go to Hell, but I work there and don’t wanna see you everyday.”

Going viral on Messenger:

It’s funny how people without pizzas in their hands actually think I’ll answer my door.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Sex so good, my left hand is making my right hand a sandwich.

Trending via X:

Hiring a mortician to do my makeup while I sleep.

Seen just now on Threads:

Job interview: Where do you see yourself in five years? Me: Hopefully on a sabbatical.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Blocking isn’t enough. I wanna throw tomatoes at you like you’re a medieval criminal.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Called in telepathically this morning, so they know I’m thinking of them.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Do people who spend a fortune on outdoor heating know they can just go inside?

Just shared via YouTube:

My workout is reading in bed until my arms hurt.

Breaking via WeChat:

“You’re always drinking wine!” God forbid a girl enjoys the first miracle of Jesus.

99 Funny watching quotes

Funny watching quotes 🤣 are like the cherry on top of your favorite comedy show 🍒, adding a sprinkle of laughter to your day! Whether you’re binging your favorite series 📺 or scrolling through a meme-worthy movie list 🎥, these quotes provide the perfect punchline to your viewing experience. Get ready to chuckle, snort, and maybe even snort-laugh as you dive into a world where humor meets entertainment! 😂🎬

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All funny watching quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

34 shares on Pinterest this month:

Men tell you “I know a place” and bring you to the brink of madness.

63 shares on Instagram this month:

I tried being the bigger person but all it got me was type 2 diabetes.

85 shares on Pinterest this month:

I have many talents, all equally un-monetizable.

11 shares on Twitch this month:

The USA is having so many disasters and tragedies, you’d almost think it was built on thousands of ancient Indian burial grounds.

30 shares on YouTube this month:

Current relationship status: sleeping diagonally across the bed.

89 shares on X this month:

Today’s politics make me think we’re living in a movie where the villains actually win.

13 shares on X this month:

My husband needs a hearing aid, but refuses to get one because it’s the key to our happy marriage.

45 shares on Instagram this month:

My phone and it’s charger are in a situationship and sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t.

96 shares on Instagram this month:

Shampoo companies need to be clearer when they say “repairs damage”. I cancelled my therapy for nothing.

49 shares on Telegram this month:

Dating me is super easy. I text you at 8; you reply at 8:00:01.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

If you think my posts are ridiculous, you should see some of my life choices.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Slipping into something more comfortable, another dimension.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I love how unforgiving soy sauce is. Cause you know immediately when you did too much with her.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s nothing more satisfying than the little nap you have after hitting snooze on your alarm.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I’m like….. what is the point of all this? And then I hang out with the people I love, and for a brief moment, I see.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I need an Apple Watch that tracks when my patience runs out.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

You’re acting up? Right before Santa Claus comes to town? Unbelievable.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Just cleaned my room in case Beyoncé was somewhere close to my house and her car broke down, and she needed somewhere to sleep.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

People who think naps are a waste of time obviously don’t understand how naps work.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

When you said “let’s circle back to that in the new year” and now it’s the new year.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,279

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

Starting to think business is standing on me.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

App idea: couples upload their arguments. The internet votes on who was right.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

Doing dry January, so I’ve had eleven Diet Cokes at this bar.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

Sorry if I seem sad, I got a new long-sleeve shirt for fall, but I haven’t been able to wear it yet because it’s 94°.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

Whoever first said, “I’m in a pickle,” must have had the weirdest day.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

Everyone hates on Gollum but he had the right idea: become a hermit, collect jewels, swim naked in lakes and pools, occasionally hiss at people who try to make you go places.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

“I saw your ex!” A very unnecessary piece of information.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

Boyfriends sound cool and all, but unfortunately, I enjoy not talking for days at a time.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

Any porn site that allows comments is instantly funny because, like, why is that there.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

It’s crazy how genuinely entertaining it is to stare into an open fire. That’s some real epigenetic memory shit.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WhatsApp:

There are 400 billion stars in our galaxy and perhaps two trillion galaxies in total, and I just wonder if Miss Universe fully understands her achievement.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I’m officially at the age where my favorite thing to do is sit down.

Just shared via Discord:

The fastest mammal on earth is the smartass on the web.

Spotted on Instagram:

Twitter is basically like a mental institution where everyone thinks they’re the sane one, and everybody else is crazy.

Going bananas on Discord:

Evenings after work finish too quickly, one meal, one show, and it’s already tomorrow morning.

Going viral on TikTok:

Aside from cocaine, has anyone figured out what that little pocket on your jeans is for?

Freshly posted on Discord:

My superpower is keeping this couch cushion warm.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Oops, I accidentally healed too much. I am now uninterested in anyone but mẹ.

Just landed via Snapchat:

The whole “read before you go to bed to get sleepy” thing does not apply to me because I will be up till 5 a.m. if the book is worth it.

Just shared via Twitch:

The length of a LinkedIn Post is directly proportional to the amount of bullshit in it.

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