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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

Why the hell is it called the restroom? I am fighting for my life in here.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

Vibrators are wrong and unnatural. The Bible said Adam and Eve, not Florence and the Machine.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

Me, with $33 left after paying bills: Let’s see how much a Land Rover costs.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

Just realized John the Baptist and Winnie the Pooh have the same middle name.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

It’s not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

When you drink red wine from a cup, it looks like fruit tea and you are also admired by others for your healthy lifestyle.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

Me: This is a hard escape room. Manager: You’re at work.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

I wonder how many people think, “What the hell?” after talking to me.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

Nothing ruins your weekend faster than remembering Monday is lurking in the shadows.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

Not to brag, but my date returned after using the restroom.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,280

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

Once married, the woman takes over the entire closet and the man stores everything he owns in his left cargo pocket.

Live now on Messenger:

Nothing is more awkward than trying to tell an online joke to offline people.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I was dismayed to hear the story of Rumpelstiltskin. I had no idea he was like that outside of work.

Just landed via Reddit:

Can I come over and be your midnight snack?

Shared recently on Messenger:

I touched grass today, and I’m still like this. Please advise.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Life on other planets be like: “I hope those lunatics don’t discover us!”

Going viral on Threads:

I could tell my beard needed a trim when I started seeing some of the pictures my kids were drawing of me.

Just landed via Twitch:

The great thing about having a mouse in your house is that I’m sure it’s just the one mouse, probably.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Before I die, I’m going to arrange for a friend to take my phone, and after the funeral, text everybody to say “thanks for coming” and other assorted messages of appreciation.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Slowly I realize why Noah only took animals with him.

192 Funny wish quotes

Funny wish quotes highlight those moments when our dreams and wishes don’t quite turn out the way we hoped! 😂✨ Whether it’s wishing for something simple, only for it to backfire, or the classic “be careful what you wish for” moment, these quotes remind us that sometimes, our wishes lead to comedy instead of fairy-tale endings. Here’s to wishing for a good laugh instead! 😆🎉💭

New funny wish quotes 👇

For even more funny wish quotes, hit next 👇

All funny wish quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

32 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Two bros having a conversation in the 1700s like “omg, we should totally start a pamphlet”

74 shares on Reddit this month:

Running feels great until you compare it to not running.

65 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If my neighbors would just talk a little louder I could follow along with their conversation, but no. Rude.

61 shares on Threads this month:

I’ll make you feel safe in that you’ll know you can outrun me if we are being chased by a murderer.

11 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I say things I don’t mean on spicy chicken.

28 shares on WeChat this month:

The art of staying somewhat sane in an insane world.

91 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Expecting your first baby’s exciting, but have you ever ordered a new coffee machine?

64 shares on Slack this month:

I just wanna buy $16 worth of a meme coin and sell it for $2.6M two weeks later.

80 shares on Instagram this month:

Let’s get married and have kids, so instead of relaxing during weeknights, we can go to seven practices and relearn algebra.

36 shares on Messenger this month:

As parents we have to make sacrifices all the time. Today, I had to eat my kid’s ice cream because she couldn’t finish it.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Your Honor, that doesn’t sound like me.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I could have done without braces back then. What’s the point of having perfect teeth if I have no reason to smile?

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Most of your problems emanate from assuming that you are intelligent. Ease into your stupidity, and be free.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Not to brag, but what a time to be childless.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

My youngest had a mandatory drugs and alcohol lecture today at school, and he still can’t mix a proper drink.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Apparently, if you leave your Tupperware cupboard unorganized for too long, they procreate, and extra lids appear out of nowhere.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I love when my friends have quiet boyfriends. Like, girl, your dog is so good, sis.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Sane is boring.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Since I’ve stayed away from most people, I get on much better with people.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

ALF is what happens when you are high on drugs in the 80s.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,592

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

I withdraw my argument. I didn’t realize you had a meme to back you up.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

Calling someone a “tough cookie” is not a compliment, tough cookies are literally the worst cookies.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

If you were the birthday gift I bought my daughter 3 months ago, where would you be hiding?

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

Voice messages. Just call, goddamnit!

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

What age will I grow out of not answering the door when I’m home and sneaking around the house to find out who’s knocking?

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

Just found out it don’t matter how early I go to bed, I just don’t wanna go to work.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

Y’all pronounce it data or data?

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

Turning to the person next to me and saying “thanks for nothing” as I get off the train.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

Yesterday, thieves broke into my home. They searched everywhere and found nothing. They beat me up, telling me to work harder.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

If she wants the moon, you get her the moon.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on X:

Ironic that the two ơ’s in “cooperate” insist on having their own separate sounds.

Live now on WhatsApp:

What’s it called when you mentally want to be horny but you’re physically not at all?

Spotted on Telegram:

Next month is May. May all the money come to me.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Did I eat too much candy today? My stomach says yes, but my heart says no.

Just landed via Messenger:

Your 20s are for developing attachments to people who will haunt you for the rest of your life.

Broadcasted on X:

Yawning is the body’s way of telling you it has only 15% battery remaining.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I’m a red flag, but the material is quality.

Going viral on Pinterest:

You can’t hurt me. You’re not how I look first thing in the morning.

Going viral on Facebook:

Don’t compare yourself with others. Everyone is better than you.

Shared recently on Facebook:

The only time anyone should watch the news is to study how psychological manipulation works on the general public.

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