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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

Actually, this email could’ve been a meeting. We could’ve spent an hour on the clock talking shit and gossiping. Someone could’ve brought bagels.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

Coffee doesn’t even make me feel energized, I just drink it for the love of the game.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

I think the bowl of ice cream I ate earlier gave me a stomach ache, so I ate a another bowl to make sure.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

Helpful police officer reminded me he’s the one asking the questions.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

I commented to a friend that I didn’t know how goofy Scream was. It turns out I have never seen Scream. I saw Scary Movie.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

The first person to ever throw up was probably like, “Ok, what the hell.”

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

True friends don’t judge each other, they judge other people… together.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

If you need time alone, just announce that you need help cleaning the cats litter box.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

I’m proud to announce that am winning my fight against sobriety.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

My morning routine includes 20 minutes of staring at the ceiling thinking about how tired I am and debating if I really need to live today.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

827 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,989

Funny Quotes Topics

13,933

Funny Quotes Images

10,989

36 minutes ago

3,427

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on X:

At my age, getting up early just means that I had to go pee, and I couldn’t hold it anymore.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Why do we call it tuna fish? Is there any other tuna out there that’s not a fish?

Shared recently on Reddit:

My first mistake of my life was my birth.

Trending via TikTok:

My grandfather tried to warn them about the Titanic. He screamed and shouted about the iceberg and how the ship was going to sink, but all they did was throw him out of the theater.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Massage therapist asked how I felt about chiropractics and I told her the guy who invented it says he learned it from a ghost, and that shut the conversation down pretty quick.

Just landed via Slack:

At the age where a big break could mean either my career or a hip.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Fleetwood Mac said that I could go my own way, your honor.

Going viral on YouTube:

I’m not saying I need glasses. But today I watched a bunny in a meadow until it flew away.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Unless I say otherwise, I am always tired.

Making waves on Pinterest:

If the math problems are too difficult for me, I post them online and write: “Only 1 in 10 can solve this problem.”

Home » Funny Wish Quotes

134 Funny wish quotes

Funny wish quotes highlight those moments when our dreams and wishes don’t quite turn out the way we hoped! 😂✨ Whether it’s wishing for something simple, only for it to backfire, or the classic “be careful what you wish for” moment, these quotes remind us that sometimes, our wishes lead to comedy instead of fairy-tale endings. Here’s to wishing for a good laugh instead! 😆🎉💭

New funny wish quotes 👇

1 day ago
Share →: I wish I could Shazam a perfume.

Commentary:
Nose detective mode activated! 🔍👃😂
5 days ago
Share →: My unemployed neighbor with an unlimited firework budget would like to wish everyone a happy 9th of July.

Commentary:
Sounds like they're celebrating Independence Week! 🎇💥🇺🇸
5 days ago
Share →: I hope I find $10,000 on the floor later.

Commentary:
Going to start checking under the couch cushions with a metal detector now 😂💰🔍
1 week ago
Share →: I’m really hoping money falls from the sky this week, or else I’m doomed.

Commentary:
Hope you've got your umbrella ready for some cash showers! ☔💸
1 week ago
Share →: During arguments with idiots, I wish I could throw a flash bang and disappear.

Commentary:
Ninja training: 0% complete. Still working on my disappearing act! 💨🔦🤦‍♂️
1 week ago
Share →: I wish I had the free time of someone who leaves a positive Amazon review for a rake.

Commentary:
That's the kind of free time I dream of—next stop, reviewing socks and dustpans! 😂🧺📦
2 weeks ago
Share →: The earlier you wake up, the more time you have to think about why you wish you were still asleep in bed.

Commentary:
"When the snooze button and I have a toxic relationship. 🛌⏰😂"
2 weeks ago
Share →: Girls expect handwritten letters from guys who copy birthday wishes from ChatGPT.

Commentary:
"Ah yes, the romance evolution: from quill and ink to Ctrl+C, Ctrl+V! 📜💌😂"
2 weeks ago
Share →: I wish that reading books in the park were my job, and I got paid six figures for it.

Commentary:
"I'd be a serious 'page earner' with that gig! 📚💸😂"
2 weeks ago
Share →: Sex is like tacos. I wish I were having some now.

Commentary:
"Life goals: always be in a taco or cuddle position. 🌮😂 #DreamBig"

For even more funny wish quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny wish quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

827 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,989

Funny Quotes Topics

13,933

Funny Quotes Images

10,989

36 minutes ago

3,449

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

Every weekend has two days: Saturday and It’s Monday Tomorrow.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what the hell happened.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

Don’t date coworkers. Being the hot coworker nobody at work has a chance with is always the best role to play.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

Great minds think alike, but so do stupid ones.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

Maybe if we all sit extremely still, Monday won’t be able to see us.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

I don’t know what i’m going to be for Halloween, so I’m probably just going to put in a tampon and go as a sexy kite.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

The world is my ostrich, or whatever.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

Sorry I didn’t get you an anniversary card, babe, but you opted in to paperless affection on our third date.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

I think they’ve made more Kung-Fu Panda movies in the last 20 years than they’ve made actual pandas.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

I forgot how to panic. Help!

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Messenger:

Mr. Beast is like if they made Dubai into a person.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Summer is here. Always put on some suncream to help the rain run off.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

My bad habits got renewed for another season.

Trending via LinkedIn:

The potholes in my city will change your radio station and unlock the doors.

Going viral on TikTok:

I have absolutely no desire to stay in the loop.

Going viral on Threads:

Your email finds me deeply unwell. Teetering on the edge really.

Just shared via Reddit:

Kissing while both wearing baseball caps is so hard. How do baseball players do it?

Reported on LinkedIn:

Apparently, when you treat someone the same way they treat you, they get offended!

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

A college education is one of the few things a person is willing to pay for and not get.

Going viral on Facebook:

11:00 am – Anything is possible. 3:00 pm – But not today.

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