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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

As long as you don’t ever give them your real name, they can’t accuse you of not keeping the mystery alive in your relationship.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

Welcome to Twitter, where people never let their lack of knowledge get in the way of expressing a strong opinion.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

So you like bad boys? Cause I’m bad at everything.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

Me: God, please stop giving me your toughest battles. God: You just have to empty the dishwasher.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

Just because your parents planned you doesn’t mean you weren’t a mistake.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

My anti-theft device in my car is that it’s manual.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

Welcome to your 50s: You’re not attracted to anyone who likes you.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

Songs discovered from movies are usually a masterpiece.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

Heavy on the ‘mhm,’ cause people just be talking.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

Brave of you to assume you can resist my good looks.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 19, 2026

3,292

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Reddit:

If a stranger starts talking to me in an elevator I say “I don’t want to talk in case we get stuck and I have to eat you” that usually shuts them up.

Just shared via Threads:

The lion doesn’t concern himself with credit card debt.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I have no use for mean people. I’ll walk right past you like you’re furniture.

Spotted on Discord:

This meeting should’ve been a fist fight.

Making waves on WeChat:

Things went well until the evil supermarket people hid my favorite products in new places.

Spotted on TikTok:

“Baby on board” Okay, well, can you tell him to drive faster?

Spotted on Facebook:

I hate the person I become when I try to open a package using the ‘Tear Here’ notch, and it stays sealed.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I have thought one billion times about everything.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Signatures are so unserious, just “pinky promise” for adults. Write your name in a silly little way on this very important piece of paper so we that we can send you to jail if you do anything wrong.

Just shared via Slack:

My toxic trait is destroying my room every time I get dressed.

218 Funny year quotes

Funny year quotes capture the wild ride each calendar brings — full of surprises, chaos, and plenty of laughs! 🎢📆 Whether it’s making resolutions you’ll forget by February or realizing December came out of nowhere, these quotes show that every year is a comedy waiting to happen. Here’s to 365 chances to laugh at life’s absurdity! 😂🗓️🎉

New funny year quotes 👇

Nobody defends billionaires better than dudes making $50,000 a year.

35 minutes ago

better, billionaire, defense, dude, humor, income, irony, making, money, nobody, salary, wealth, worker, year
You can’t convince me that 2020 didn’t open a portal to hell that we’re still living in.

58 minutes ago

2020, apocalypse, chaos, convince, hell, humor, living, me, open, pandemic, portal, still, surreal, year
The best way to describe this year is to say it feels like a year of Mondays.

2 hours ago

best, describe, feeling, feels, humor, Monday, say, time, year
Honestly, will never top the year I told everyone I was going to be Amelia Earhart for Halloween, and then didn’t show up to the party.

5 hours ago

amelia, Amelia Earhart, costume, earhart, everyone, funny story, going, Halloween, i, joke, never, no show, party, show, story, told, top, year
This year has gone by so quick. Christmas is basically tomorrow.

6 hours ago

celebration, Christmas, date, gone, holiday, quick, surprise, time, tomorrow, year
August is almost over. September is next week. Time to pick out a Halloween costume and start your Christmas shopping. Happy New Year, everybody.

6 hours ago

almost, August, Christmas, Christmas shopping, costume, Halloween, Halloween costume, happy, holiday, holiday planning, humor, management, new, new year, next, over, pick, planning, seasonal, seasonal humor, September, shopping, start, time, time management, week, year
I hate this time of year because all you guys care about is football, and no one wants to ogle my cleavage anymore.

6 hours ago

care, cleavage, complaint, distraction, football, guys, hate, humor, i, jealousy, time, time of year, wants, year
I never had a year with this much thinking. I’ve been thinking since the 1st.

7 hours ago

date, humor, i, joke, much, never, thinking, year
Hello, hi. Don’t invite me anywhere until next year. The money is finished. Regards.

7 hours ago

anywhere, financial, financial struggle, finished, greeting, hello, hi, holiday, holiday planning, humor, invitation, invite, me, money, next, planning, procrastination, struggle, year
(To my coworker that’s a year younger than me) You’re like a son to me.

10 hours ago

age, coworker, family, humor, joke, me, son, workplace, year, younger

For even more funny year quotes, hit next 👇

All funny year quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

25 shares on WhatsApp this month:

SHEIN does entirely too much on their app. Feels like a freaking casino every time you open it.

89 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Can’t believe I spent so many years of my life asking teachers if I was allowed to use the bathroom, and sometimes be told no. What the hell?

73 shares on Discord this month:

The billionaires have decided that the people with nothing have too much.

99 shares on Telegram this month:

Why do fish stink so much even though they bathe their whole lives?

44 shares on Threads this month:

There are TV shows that only exist on the screens of girls’ houses you go to one time and never again.

32 shares on Pinterest this month:

I need one of those jobs they have in sitcoms, where it pays my rent but interferes with exactly zero of my social plans or situations.

62 shares on X this month:

Rock bottom should give me free sandwich and coffee for how often I hit it.

34 shares on Threads this month:

Ah coffee. The sweet balm by which we shall accomplish today’s tasks.

65 shares on Snapchat this month:

Every app is a dating app if you are creepy enough.

27 shares on Messenger this month:

The volume of my TV is 100% dependent on what I’m currently chewing on.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

You want to know how old you really feel? Stop drinking caffeine and popping Ibuprofen. Then, just wait.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Summer is the time when it’s too hot to do what it was too cold to do in winter.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

The problem with salad is, it’s salad.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Wine drunk doesn’t even make itself known. You’re just relaxed, and then, all of a sudden, you feel sexier.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

My phone charger is lying in another room. HELP.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing more humiliating than sending a text message with a picture and the picture doesn’t send for ages and now you’ve said something sooo odd out of context.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

When Dr. Seuss wrote, “Oh, The Places You’ll Go,” he did not consider how comfortable my couch would be.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

You’re supposed to store a treasure in your cleavage that’s why it’s called a chest.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to the internet, where people are confidently wrong all the time.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

My body is a “wonder what happened” land.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,309

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

I really want a family… sized bag of peanut butter M&Ms.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

The peace of not knowing.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

Apartments show you 44 pics of the lobby. Man, I ain’t living in there.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

The first pyramid scheme was when the Egyptians took credit for the pyramids that were clearly built by aliens.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

Jane Austen gave us men who crossed fields in the rain. Mine left me on read, and liked someone else’s story.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

Seeing a beautiful woman drink her beer is like witnessing an angel take flight.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

I sign all anniversary cards with ‘Way to commit to the bit!’

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

This Monday has Monday written all over it.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

Isn’t it weird we have a little voice in our head, like the one you’re using to read this?

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

I don’t post for money or fame, I post because there’s something seriously wrong with me.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via X:

No, I’m not “dating anyone.” I’m really busy playing outside.

Just shared via Reddit:

Hair is washed. I am finally lovable and capable of loving again.

Breaking via TikTok:

I put the dance in “Good riddance!”

Trending via Messenger:

I heard you like bad girls. Well, I’m bad. At everything.

Shared recently on Facebook:

One day there will be condoms with Bluetooth that tell you whether you’re good in bed, how many calories you’ve burned and when the next train leaves.

Just landed via WeChat:

Every laptop should have a “cat” button that disables the keyboard so they can nap.

Just landed via WeChat:

Born to be a hater but forced to understand where you’re coming from.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Caveman bartender: “This one’s on the cave.”

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I’m not exaggerating when I say, if I ever clogged a toilet at work, I would immediately quit, change my name, and then move to a different city.

Going viral on Facebook:

I always bring luggage when visiting my mom because I know she’ll send me on a guilt trip.

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