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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

Honk shuah. Sleep on that thang!

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

Wake up, there’s overthinking to be done.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

All my passwords are protected by short term memory loss.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

Everybody in the grocery store is my enemy, and I will not be elaborating.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

To my beloved wife, I leave my circus and my monkeys.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

This time last night, there was a spider so big in my bathroom it put me under a glass on a postcard and carried me out.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

Wondering when these skinny jeans are gonna kick in.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

Uber Eats “you forgot to finish your order” notification is funny because I didn’t forget, I just came to my senses.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

Here’s your daily reminder to not forget about Dre.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

Shooting a gun in the air to get everyone’s attention, then immediately getting shy and sheepishly twisting my shoe in the dirt and blinking bashfully.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,412

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Slack:

You realize you’re getting old when your body parts start fighting over which one hurts first.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I like my job, but if I had the opportunity to become a rich housewife, I would take it.

Going viral on Threads:

In a job interview, you can always respond to an awkward question with a deep gaze and parted lips, followed by “You complete me.”

Going viral on Discord:

You’d think the thing in my house with the most cat hair on it would be my cat.

Just landed via Messenger:

Since it’s impossible to know which period of my life is the middle, I’ve decided to have an ongoing crisis.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I remember the first time I saw a universal remote control. I thought to myself, “Wow, this changes everything.”

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Life is so funny because you think you look good today and a year later you look even better.

Spotted on Twitch:

We’re putting that movie you love back in theaters on one random Wednesday — and we’re not gonna tell you until Tuesday.

Just landed via YouTube:

Why have abs when you can have kebabs?

Shared recently on TikTok:

Using a remote to type on a keyboard on the TV is truly one of the worst human experiences that we endure.

Girls will be like “it’s fine” and then go and curse your whole bloodline.

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Girls will be like “it’s fine” and then go and curse your whole bloodline.
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Commentary:
When she says "it's fine," just remember to run for cover because her inner storm is brewing ⛈️🙃 Don't mess with a girl's unspoken rage or you might end up being excommunicated from your own bloodline! 😂 #FineButNotFine #GirlPower

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

41 shares on Facebook this month:

Remember it’s Christmas. You need to check your elf before you wreck your shelf.

43 shares on WeChat this month:

Using a condom and still pulling out, call that two-factor authentication.

57 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The man who invented autocorrect has died. Restaurant in peace.

27 shares on WhatsApp this month:

All I’m saying is that I’m closer to being a millionaire than Jeff Bezos is.

66 shares on Twitch this month:

As a simulation, this all kinda sucks.

90 shares on Reddit this month:

My favorite game is guessing if my headache is due to dehydration, migraine, malnutrition, stress, lack of sleep, poor posture, or a brain tumor.

63 shares on Instagram this month:

Roses are pink. I need a drink.

94 shares on TikTok this month:

Fun fact: The US was originally not meant to be a reality TV show.

32 shares on Snapchat this month:

When you’re a parent, your skincare routine is just the steam from the dishwasher when you open it to find the coffee cup you just needed.

64 shares on Threads this month:

Just checked my bank account. Looks like everyone’s getting a hug for Christmas.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Brain, I know you’re trying hard, but you are not doing a good job.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

When I get to work, I always hide first, because a good worker is always hard to find.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Therapy should be free and accessible because getting traumatized is free and accessible.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

You can make friends in a doctor’s waiting room as long as you have something broken and not something coughing.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

You’re telling me people get eight hours of sleep? Like in one night?

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Adulthood is about being able to eat cookies for breakfast, but not doing it because you already ate all the cookies.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Please do not test me. I’ve been saving up my rage like PTO.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Getting a boner because the Lego instructions are telling me what to do.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

How you conduct yourself when using plastic wrap is the real you.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

8 year gap on resume that just says “karate”.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,554

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

If you’re not easily offended, why are you even online?

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

My mom and all her opinions are visiting this weekend.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

If David Bowie taught us anything, it’s that being a little weird is better than being forgettable.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

I always leave my friends voicemails in case they suddenly decide to be a musician and need an interlude.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

If I ever win the lottery and decide to invest in a billboard company, I won’t tell anyone; but there will be signs.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

So many people to disappoint, so little time.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

No better feeling than getting home and realizing you forgot the one thing you went out for.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

If you’re not getting spoiled, then spoil yourself.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

I’ve got a headache, and it’s affecting my entire future.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

Ramen is just anime spaghetti.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Messenger:

If pills are too toxic to flush down the toilet, you probably shouldn’t swallow them.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Being an iPad baby must be so exciting. Imagine going from nine dull months in the womb to playing Candy Crush.

Just landed via WeChat:

Spice up your anxiety attack by playing the Jaws theme song.

Just shared via Slack:

Even when I look up the slang of today’s kids, I still have no idea what it means.

Just shared via Reddit:

Women love it when you approach them on the street and say “whoa, is there a hot babe convention in town?”

Going viral on TikTok:

You’re not lazy, you’re just buffering in HD.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Penguins are just ducks going to a wedding.

Live now on Telegram:

Babe, are you OK? You’ve barely touched your unread books.

Just landed via Threads:

I think everyone should get $500 deposited into their accounts every day, just for waking up.

Going viral on Telegram:

Gotta find someone you’re thermostatically compatible with. You can’t be a 74 dating a 62.

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