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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

If you ever feel useless, remember that there are bathrooms at pools.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

When someone yells stop I don’t know whether it’s in the name of love, it’s Hammer time, or I should smell the flowers.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

Roses are red, violets are blue, sunflowers are yellow. I bet you were expecting something romantic, but no, this is just gardening facts.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

Welcome to college, where every single person is smarter than you, except for the three people in your group project.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

Downloading the Titanic soundtrack. It’s syncing right now.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

Almost fell asleep while putting on the sweater because it got dark for a moment. That’s all you need to know about my morning state.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

Coffee just tastes better when you are the only one awake in the morning.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

My favorite dance move is trying to get out of my own way.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

Well, that’s not very in love with me of you.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

The Sims fulfills the millennial fantasy of being able to afford a house in a walkable neighborhood on the salary of a professional carrot peeler.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,343

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

By the way, if you don’t buy anything on Black Friday, you can save up to 100%.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Toddlers are like puppies, they don’t care if they’re dirty and smelly and they both have an affinity exploring the trash bin.

Going viral on Telegram:

School reunion is a scam… nobody is missing anyone, they just want to know whether you have made it in life or not.

Spotted on X:

Welcome to Twitter, where people never let their lack of knowledge get in the way of expressing a strong opinion.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I’m not religious but I know there’s a hell because Monopoly exists.

Making waves on WeChat:

Whoever invented the gender reveal party needs to be launched into the sun.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

I said “cool tattoo” to be nice not because I wanted to hear the 45 minute origin story.

Going viral on Instagram:

People acting all happy and energized first thing in the morning. Chill out! You aren’t a Teletubby.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Not a gold digger, but the other night a woman told me her grandpa owns a Christmas tree farm. That shit had me rubbing my hands like a fly.

Live now on Telegram:

Most of your problems emanate from assuming that you are intelligent. Ease into your stupidity, and be free.

Girls will be like “it’s fine” and then go and curse your whole bloodline.

2 weeks ago

Witty quote about girls pretending everything's okay but secretly cursing your bloodline.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When she says "it's fine," just remember to run for cover because her inner storm is brewing ⛈️🙃 Don't mess with a girl's unspoken rage or you might end up being excommunicated from your own bloodline! 😂 #FineButNotFine #GirlPower

bloodline, curse, drama, emotions, fine, girls, humor, relationships, sarcasm, whole

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

57 shares on Reddit this month:

Middle-aged math is going out drinking and feeling half your age then waking up the next morning feeling twice your age.

64 shares on Twitch this month:

Netflix be like “we know exactly what movie you talkin’ ’bout but we ain’t got it lol”.

75 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Life begins when you can afford it.

82 shares on WeChat this month:

Teens be like, “You know that crumbled up piece of paper that’s been on the table all week? I need it for school.”

62 shares on Messenger this month:

My superpower is holding onto stuff for years and throwing it away exactly one week before I need it.

10 shares on LinkedIn this month:

It’s freezing cold outside and my polar bear won’t start.

41 shares on Messenger this month:

At my next therapy session, I will be discussing the trauma I’ve been dealing with ever since the grocery store layout was altered.

45 shares on Slack this month:

Most people in your life will come and go but occasionally you’ll meet someone really special who makes you contemplate murder.

35 shares on Discord this month:

If you think about it, Santa really has the best job, he works one day a year and spends the rest of his time judging people.

49 shares on Threads this month:

My fight or flight response has frequent flyer miles.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

(Most depressed guy you’ve ever met) I’m doing pretty good.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I really can’t wait until it all works out.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

“I saw your ex!” A very unnecessary piece of information.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I accidentally bought a pair of nose-cancelling headphones and now my glasses keep falling off.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I am “any text received after 9pm will be answered at 6am” years old.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Cupid’s arrow should have just killed me instead.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Not the sharpest cheddar on the charcuterie board.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Anyone who thinks being a pessimist isn’t any fun fails to appreciate the joy of saying, ‘I told you so.’

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I mostly keep friendships going because they have my good Tupperware.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I love sleeping in fishnets. Makes you feel like a big honey roast ham.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,437

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

I talk to one guy, and he wants to break my heart. I talk to five guys, and they all wanna take me seriously.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

I hope I find $10,000 on the floor later.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

Snaccident: eating a whole bag of Doritos in one sitting.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

Lasagna has never broken my heart. Just saying.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

It’s so hot outside that when I opened my front door I thought I was checking on my oven.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

Worst fears: 1. being infertile 2. being pregnant.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

Not to brag, but I don’t fight with people on the internet.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

I wish I could just drop my body off at the gym and pick it up later.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

My save-for-later cart on Amazon is up to about $1.5 million dollars.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

Some of you need to be visited by the ghost of ‘Quit emailing me so much before Christmas.’

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Slack:

This can’t be the same brain I was using to read 750-page novels in 3 days during middle school.

Just shared via Reddit:

The older I get, the more I understand why roosters just scream to start their day.

Trending via WeChat:

Every day I ask ChatGPT if it knows where my keys are and if it ever knows the answer, I’m suing everybody.

Just landed via WeChat:

Everyone’s gangster until they use a pen that is satisfyingly smooth and fun to write with.

Going viral on Discord:

(Most depressed guy you’ve ever met) I’m doing pretty good.

Going viral on X:

(Making small talk with a couple) So have you guys ever cheated on each other?

Seen just now on WeChat:

Time is precious, waste it wisely.

Going viral on Messenger:

You know who else works in mysterious ways? Me.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Hi, I’m making some changes in my life. If you don’t hear from me, you are one of them.

Going viral on Twitch:

The Titanic is a great lesson of why “just the tip” can get you into a whole lot of trouble.

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