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Commentary:
"Introducing the latest trend in wholesome affection: the forehead glory hole. Because sometimes all you need is a little kiss on the forehead to brighten your day… and maybe a sprinkle of mystery."

affection, forehead, forehead kiss, glory, glory hole, hole, humor, intimacy, joke, kiss, playful, relationship

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I can clean the whole house if I want to, but if someone asks me to do it, suddenly I’m lazy.

1 month ago
clean, everyday, everyday struggle, house, housework, humor, i, laziness, laziness humor, lazy, me, motivation, motivation paradox, paradox, procrastination, someone, struggle, want, whole
The best part about your kids being sick is you get to see exactly how shitty you’re going to feel in 48 hours.

1 month ago
anticipation, being, best, exactly, feel, going, hours, humor, illness, kids, parenting, reality, sick
Nobody seems more shocked, disappointed and dismayed than the person behind the post office counter when I arrive and say I’ve got something to post.

1 month ago
counter, disappointed, dismayed, i, nobody, office, person, post, post office, say, shocked, something
They should invent a day where I feel normal.

4 months ago
day, feel, feeling, humor, i, invent, invention, normal, sarcasm, should, where
I don’t want to exacerbate things. That would just make things worse.

1 month ago
communication, conflict, exacerbate, humor, i, irony, just, things, want, worse
A political guy who supports communism because he hates applying for jobs and just wants to be assigned somewhere.

1 month ago
application, applying, communism, employment, guy, humor, job, job application, jobs, just, laziness, political, politics, satire, somewhere, wants

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

Proposing at someone else’s wedding is out. Die at their funeral like a real man.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

Your honor, my client doesn’t like jail.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

My kids have been joking for weeks about a new Pokémon called Puke-Achu and then they got the stomach flu and brought it to life.

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Adulting is when you realize that all you need is a home, stable income and a peaceful partner.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

Celery is depressing green water wafers.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

Tariff this, tariff that. When is somebody gonna tariff my clothes and kiss me?

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

How do I get one of those fake corporate jobs where I work remotely, get paid for responding to one email a day, and have a laptop on with Outlook or whatever open?

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Just shared via Messenger:

If I was a little smarter, I’d be aware of how stupid I am.

Going viral on Messenger:

I’ve realized that some people don’t like me, but I’ve also realized that I don’t give a shit.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Ever since I was young, I knew I wanted to be online nonstop.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Always funny to see motivational posts from people I know are toxic in real life.

Just landed via X:

If you want to make your mother proud, make her my mother-in-law.

Spotted on Reddit:

I’m a Leo so I just eat the other astrological signs.

Shared recently on Slack:

I keep my mind active by worrying.

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Glory hole but for forehead kisses.

I can clean the whole house if I want to, but if someone asks me to do it, suddenly I’m lazy.

The best part about your kids being sick is you get to see exactly how shitty you’re going to feel in 48 hours.

Nobody seems more shocked, disappointed and dismayed than the person behind the post office counter when I arrive and say I’ve got something to post.

They should invent a day where I feel normal.

I don’t want to exacerbate things. That would just make things worse.

A political guy who supports communism because he hates applying for jobs and just wants to be assigned somewhere.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Love it when you say or do some common sense thing and the other person has “file not found” written all over their face.

Whoever named them fitting rooms has a lot of nerve.

If the universe is continuing to expand then why does my rent keep going up?

I speak my mind, cause it hurts when I bite my tongue.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

If you haven’t felt old yet today, try explaining to a teenager how little kids used to sit on a phone book at dinner to be able to reach the table.

My favourite thing about waking up at ridiculous o’clock is the solitude.

I tried explaining crypto to my nine-year-old, and she said, “It sounds like someone is trying to sell you their imaginary friend.”

I always need to pee, but it’s just because my heart is so big it pushes on my bladder.

Let’s get married and have kids, so instead of relaxing during weeknights, we can go to seven practices and relearn algebra.

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The art of today’s art is to persuade people that it’s art.

On Halloween, I’ll be handing out full size bars of really bad advice. Only while supplies last.

College is not even mentioned once in the Bible. Somebody get me outta here.

The most embarrassing thing in the world is when you make a fool of yourself in front of a baby and it doesn’t laugh.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Do we barbecue with women or without salad?

The government even made aliens boring.

Not only is it not Friday, it’s not even Thursday.

Do other people remember toasters with wings flying across our computer screens or was that a fever dream I just had?

As parents we have to make sacrifices all the time. Today, I had to eat my kid’s ice cream because she couldn’t finish it.

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Glory hole but for forehead kisses.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I can clean the whole house if I want to, but if someone asks me to do it, suddenly I’m lazy.

The best part about your kids being sick is you get to see exactly how shitty you’re going to feel in 48 hours.

Nobody seems more shocked, disappointed and dismayed than the person behind the post office counter when I arrive and say I’ve got something to post.

They should invent a day where I feel normal.

I don’t want to exacerbate things. That would just make things worse.

A political guy who supports communism because he hates applying for jobs and just wants to be assigned somewhere.

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