Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

Maybe the grass is greener over there because you’re not over there messing it up.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

It’s wild that you can just do anything. Date the wrong person, choose the wrong career. You can go outside and start eating dirt if you want, and the universe lets you. Not even a pop-up like “Are you sure?“

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

No HR complaint formed against me shall prosper.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

Laxatives help you live up to your full pooptential.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

Relationship Status: just tried to pet my dog and he turned his head so I pretended I was reaching for a leaf that was next to him.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

You can be anything. Be the person who ends meetings early.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

Don’t let the fact that I’m deeply unserious distract you from the fact that you’re in the presence of a genius.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, I’m never sending you nudes again.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

I’m tired of being an adult. Therefore, I will be stepping down. Thank you!

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

Everyone knows that Christmas is the celebration of the immaculate conception of Mariah Carey.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,369

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Telegram:

If you think my posts are horrid, wait until you see the live stream of my colonoscopy.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I’m a go with the flow kind of gal unless the flow is after 9pm or involves parallel parking.

Making waves on Reddit:

Start each day with a positive thought, like: “I can go back to bed in just 17 short hours.”

Going bananas on Facebook:

‘You’re going to die alone!’ Okay, when did dying become a group project?

Going viral on LinkedIn:

If you make it through life without being portrayed in a murder documentary, take the win.

Just shared via YouTube:

I don’t need therapy, I need a bagel with cream cheese.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Showing up late with an iced coffee is not about poor time management, it’s about knowing how to make an entrance.

Live now on Facebook:

If you’re going to walk in my shoes, please also wear my FitBit.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

One interesting thing I learned in my thirties is that you can leave a bar before it closes.

Just landed via Facebook:

I wish you could put your whole life on do not disturb.

Got sent to HR for calling someone a “jellyfish” — just floating around all day, doing absolutely nothing.

9 hours ago

Funny Quotes

Humorous quote about workplace drama, comparing someone to a lazy jellyfish floating aimlessly.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Guess I should have picked a "sea turtle" instead for their laid-back nature 🌊😅🐢

absolutely, around, calling, day, doing, doing nothing, floating, got, hr, humor, insult, jellyfish, just, nothing, office, office humor, sent, someone, workplace

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

33 shares on Discord this month:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but no one in the world is judging you as much as you’re judging yourself. People online: Hold my beer.

80 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’ve discovered I have a logic fetish, I just can’t stop coming to conclusions.

66 shares on Instagram this month:

Starting my period on election day because I’m a true patriot who bleeds for this country.

58 shares on Slack this month:

Welcome to parenting! The only hobbies you have left are the ones you can do in the bathroom.

85 shares on Discord this month:

Saying “Who is it?” when the doctor knocks on the exam room door.

90 shares on TikTok this month:

I’ve had 50 birthdays in a row without being arrested, which I’d say is an impressive streak!

26 shares on WhatsApp this month:

There are TV shows that only exist on the screens of girls’ houses you go to one time and never again.

11 shares on Twitch this month:

Studies show people who like my posts are happier, smarter, and better looking than those who don’t.

72 shares on Reddit this month:

As a woman, you need to forgive yourself for men you entertained when you had low self-esteem.

37 shares on TikTok this month:

Dropped my skinny boyfriend between the bed and the wall like a vape or a TV remote.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

Coming back to your own bed after a few days away is peak coziness.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

Christmas decor isn’t meant to be sleek and minimalist, it is supposed to look like joy threw up in your house.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

They should make a movie that’s good the whole way through.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

I say “long story short” and then tell the story with bonus features.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

Establish dominance by maintaining eye contact whilst twerking.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

The gym gives you energy, but you need energy to get to the gym. Feels like a pyramid scheme, if you ask me.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

Sorry I can’t come today. My sister’s friend’s mother’s grandpa’s brother’s grandson’s uncle’s fish died, and it was tragic.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

In banana years, I am bread.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

If you’re looking for a quiet place to talk to yourself, my DMs are open.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

People who often talk to themselves are more intelligent than others. At least that’s what I tell myself.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Pinterest:

It feels like a million o’clock right now.

Trending via WhatsApp:

My ego is bruised so I’m going to ice it with some cold beer.

Just shared via Reddit:

At my age, a trail of clothes leading to the bedroom, means I dropped them on the way from the dryer.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

The masculine urge to hitch your pants up after making a minor decision.

Just landed via Telegram:

Need to win the lottery so I can focus on going to museums and working out.

Trending via Threads:

I could never work in an aquarium. I would have a penguin under my shirt at the end of the shift.

Spotted on WeChat:

You are allowed to be crazy as long as you are equally as hot.

Spotted on Twitch:

I use a headshot from 2008 on my LinkedIn to prepare future employers for disappointment.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Shade coming from a tree bearing no fruit could never phase me. Carry on.

Just landed via Instagram:

As a kid, I used to watch The Wizard of Oz and wonder how someone could talk if they didn’t have a brain. Then I got social media.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Got sent to HR for calling someone a “jellyfish” — just floating around all day, doing absolutely nothing.

God invented war so that Americans can learn geography.

Marry the man who treats your dumb questions like they’re NASA-level problems.

Dry January is so funny. People are like, “How can I make the worst month of the year even worse?”

In honor of Charles Dickens, I will also be poor this Christmas.

I’ve jogged with my jogging pants about as often as I’ve rolled through the kitchen with kitchen roll.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Got sent to HR for calling someone a “jellyfish” — just floating around all day, doing absolutely nothing.

Keep the laugh going 😂

God invented war so that Americans can learn geography.

Marry the man who treats your dumb questions like they’re NASA-level problems.

TikTok? I still call it a watch.

Dry January is so funny. People are like, “How can I make the worst month of the year even worse?”

In honor of Charles Dickens, I will also be poor this Christmas.

I’ve jogged with my jogging pants about as often as I’ve rolled through the kitchen with kitchen roll.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨