Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

I think Cinderella should have lived a happy life with all her animal friends rather than settle for a man who had her try on a shoe because he didn’t recognize her without makeup.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

I’m really looking forward to another exciting year staring at my phone.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

Wi-Fi: Your internet connection is unstable. Me: You should see my life.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

Life is full of questions. Idiots are full of answers.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

It’s not a Sunday unless you completely waste it and then feel sad around 8 p.m.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

The dumbest people have the loudest opinions on politics.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

Why is there a level 6 for toasters? As if someone thinks: “Tonight I’m really in the mood for ashes with butter!”

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

Has anyone ever considered that Dr. Pepper could be a gynecologist?

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

If we all club together we could raise enough money to buy Monday and have it destroyed.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

The most incredible thing about James Bond is the way he can walk into any hotel room and immediately know how to use the shower.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,304

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Pinterest:

At the airport, and a wife asked her husband, “Where are our seats?” and he responds, “In the airplane.”

Just landed via Twitch:

The romantic says that there is the right partner for everyone. The realist says: only one person has to choose the wrong one and then it won’t work out for everyone!

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

It’s so much easier to suggest solutions when you don’t know too much about the problem.

Seen just now on Reddit:

You should be able to like an email instead of replying to it.

Making waves on Discord:

All my life lessons were learned by watching people who took my advice.

Live now on WhatsApp:

What does my tattoo mean? It means I couldn’t be trusted with $200 when I was 18.

Going viral on Snapchat:

The only way to my heart is with a knife.

Breaking via Snapchat:

If you’re riding a bike in New York City, it means you care about your health. Riding one in Tennessee means you got a DUI.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

There should be an opposite of Valentine’s Day where you post Instagram photos of your enemy.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Me, when someone’s obsessed with me: Yikes! Me, when someone’s not obsessed with me: WTF?

Got sent to HR for calling someone a “jellyfish” — just floating around all day, doing absolutely nothing.

1 month ago

Humorous quote about workplace drama, comparing someone to a lazy jellyfish floating aimlessly.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Guess I should have picked a "sea turtle" instead for their laid-back nature 🌊😅🐢

absolutely, around, calling, day, doing, doing nothing, floating, got, hr, humor, insult, jellyfish, just, nothing, office, office humor, sent, someone, workplace

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

92 shares on Reddit this month:

Nothing hurts more than someone not getting your joke.

31 shares on Threads this month:

I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right louder.

68 shares on WeChat this month:

I refuse to go to a blood bank. I’m not taking your blood money.

95 shares on Snapchat this month:

Manipulative people really be like “oh, so now I’m the bad guy for being the bad guy?”

66 shares on Threads this month:

Winter hack: Avoid the cold by never leaving your house.

80 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Best time to reach me is when I’m at work. Don’t bother me when I’m at home.

33 shares on Twitch this month:

“I’m just a girl!” No, you are a monster.

24 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m not afraid of ghosts because everyone who’s mad at me is still alive.

16 shares on X this month:

Only 6 hours, 45 minutes and 35 years until I’m done with work.

86 shares on Telegram this month:

This pillow isn’t going to scream into itself.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

Next time I lose my mind I swear I’m not even going to look for it any more.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

You can put refrigerator magnets on your car, too. There are no rules.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

I need to find hobbies that don’t include my debit card.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

Mario Kart gave me unrealistic expectations of how banana peels affect traffic.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

Every squad has that person who has to go home early.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

Raising a teenager is like nailing pudding to the wall.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

They should make a movie that’s good the whole way through.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

I will marry a tall, masculine, lovey-dovey man who can’t breathe when I ignore his existence.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

Rock bottom should give me free sandwich and coffee for how often I hit it.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

Haven’t seen a single bikini photoshoot in the snow this year; the girls are tired.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Threads:

It sure is strange that after Tuesday the rest of the week spells WTF.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

My Indian name would be “Stares at Phone All Day.”

Just shared via Telegram:

I made a resolution to eat better and exercise in the new year but didn’t specify which year I was referring to.

Trending via Messenger:

Because of my looks, everyone only wants one thing from me, that I leave them alone.

Just landed via Reddit:

I get all the cardio I need by running out of patience.

Going viral on Discord:

Play your cards right and we could be wearing matching fanny packs this summer.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

My toxic trait is when I’m bored, I start looking for flights to book.

Breaking via Threads:

The female rage of having so much to say but refusing to say it, cause their emotional intelligence is too low for them to comprehend it.

Going viral on TikTok:

Eat whatever you want. If someone calls you fat, eat them too.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

The only thing worse than children talking about sex is adults talking about politics.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Got sent to HR for calling someone a “jellyfish” — just floating around all day, doing absolutely nothing.

The world started without permission again.

Spilling hot coffee on your lap wakes you up faster than drinking it.

I enjoy a glass of wine each night for its health benefits. The other glasses are for my witty comebacks and flawless dance moves.

You either have a full ketchup bottle in your house or an almost empty one. There’s no in-between.

Mission Impossible theme song plays in my head when I’m trying to remember a password.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Got sent to HR for calling someone a “jellyfish” — just floating around all day, doing absolutely nothing.

Keep the laugh going 😂

The world started without permission again.

Spilling hot coffee on your lap wakes you up faster than drinking it.

I enjoy a glass of wine each night for its health benefits. The other glasses are for my witty comebacks and flawless dance moves.

Don’t ask me ‘how are you?’ unless you’re willing to sign an NDA.

You either have a full ketchup bottle in your house or an almost empty one. There’s no in-between.

Mission Impossible theme song plays in my head when I’m trying to remember a password.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨