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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

This time last night, there was a spider so big in my bathroom it put me under a glass on a postcard and carried me out.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

My toxic trait is destroying my room every time I get dressed.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

Onion rings? I’m answering.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Bragging about how I’ve “really turned my life around recently” without mentioning in which direction.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

Have you ever apologized to your car after you hit a pothole?

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

The whole “read before you go to bed to get sleepy” thing does not apply to me because I will be up till 5 a.m. if the book is worth it.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

“Try it all before you die” is always drugs and sex, never quantum physics.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

No matter how small you make that “unsubscribe” link, I’ll still find it.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

Deciding if I should heal or just give up and go completely insane.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

The season is back when women are 80% scarf.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,311

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Twitch:

My toxic trait is when I’m bored, I start looking for flights to book.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Being friends with introverts is hard sometimes. Did they die? Are they just recharging? Are they Batman now? The suspense is killing me.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Hell hath no fury like a toddler getting his nose wiped.

Going viral on Telegram:

A sperm bank implies the existence of sperm markets, which further implies the existence of high-frequency sperm trading.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you’re up to.

Making waves on Reddit:

Not all who wander are lost. Some are just moms. In Target. Hiding from their children.

Just landed via Reddit:

This flight is so long, I don’t know where I’m going anymore. I just live here now. Even the crying baby gave up.

Trending via Slack:

Keep posting, I’m diagnosing you.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

“Dating pool” is incredibly optimistic. More like dating drainage.

Broadcasted on X:

Ever since I was young, I wanted to check my email for a verification code.

Have you ever accidentally opened your front-facing camera, and it ruined your day a little?

Hilarious text about the relatable mishap of opening your front camera unexpectedly.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Why pay for a jump scare when your front camera does it for free? 🍿😱📱

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

17 shares on Instagram this month:

At least I can say I tried. I didn’t try, but I can say I did.

55 shares on Twitch this month:

Not eating the cookie I’m craving. I better wake up skinny tomorrow.

98 shares on Telegram this month:

ChatGPT, what do you do when you find out your boyfriend’s been using ChatGPT to write you messages?

75 shares on TikTok this month:

Who called it girl math and not galgebra?

27 shares on Threads this month:

Dating apps? No thanks, if I wanted to talk to someone for hours and accomplish nothing, I’d contact tech support.

60 shares on TikTok this month:

My friends wife threatened to leave him over his Star Wars collectibles and I was like “divorce is strong in this one”.

42 shares on WeChat this month:

Well, it took several decades, but I might have finally run out of things to say.

61 shares on Messenger this month:

Microsoft Teams needs to add a “spank” reaction for when I want to reprimand my employees during a video call.

50 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Did you ever buy a pack of underwear, take them out, and think, wow, these are huge… then try them on, and they fit perfectly?

22 shares on WeChat this month:

If Microsoft Edge is brave enough to ask to be your default browser, you can be brave enough to ask that girl out.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Asking my landlord if he has any Cyber Monday deals.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I wear black because it’s slimming. Exercise is also slimming, but like I said, I wear black.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

My hobbies include adding things to my cart, and never buying them.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Bob Ross could paint a forest in 10 minutes. I’ve been ‘working on myself’ for years, and I’m still unfinished.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Video games are great. They let you try out your craziest fantasies. For example, on The Sims, you can have a job and a house.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

In my defense, Your Honor, I was left unsupervised.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Say what you want about online meetings, but there are few things more liberating than attending a disciplinary hearing naked from the waist down.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

If a door closes, I’m just going to open it again.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

What’s it called when you mentally want to be horny but you’re physically not at all?

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Waitress: “Do you have any questions about the menu?” Me: “What kind of font is this?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,526

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

I still can’t believe they named a company GoDaddy.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

I came. I saw. I made it awkward.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

Going to the bathroom at night with my flashlight on and a dog next to me feels like I’m gonna solve a mystery.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

Friends with no kids are like: Want to go to New Zealand this Friday?

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

They should invent going outside without people looking at you.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

Lie during your job interview because they’re lying to you about their great work environment.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

Thinking about quitting my job to focus on my girlfriend.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

No, I am not refreshed from my long weekend. I was reminded that I am not meant to work, but I am trapped in The Machine.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

If I worked for UPS, there would be a 100% chance I’m falling out that open door when I turn a corner too fast.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

It got weird when I thought both arm rests at the movie theatre were mine.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via YouTube:

Potatoes make French fries, chips and vodka. It’s like the other vegetables aren’t even trying.

Just shared via Twitch:

If camera lenses are round, why are the pictures square?

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Is it still murder if they said, “Some other time,” but I thought they said smother time?

Making waves on LinkedIn:

“I’m not dramatic. I just react with the intensity of a Shakespearean widow at all times.”

Shared recently on YouTube:

I’m really looking forward to getting a full 8 hours of overthinking in tonight.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

To-do list: bite the hand that feeds me, put all my eggs in one basket, kill two birds with one stone, let the cat out of the bag, think inside the box, burn bridges, walk on thin ice, play with fire.

Breaking via Facebook:

Good luck to everyone out there trying to gather enough energy to function this week.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

In my culture, family is completely unimportant. And we hate food.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

That awkward moment when someone keeps watching you while you are eating.

Going viral on Instagram:

Starting an OnlyFans, but it’s just videos of me trying to use chopsticks.

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