Home is where you trust the toilet seat.

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I know it’s true because the people on the internet said so.

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You think you’re aging well and then you feel an earlobe hair blowing in the wind.

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Did you know that if you listen to any Black Sabbath album backwards, you can hear them singing backwards?

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They are all liars, so just pick the tallest and enjoy.

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Back in my day there was so much toilet paper and so much eggs that we gathered at night and threw them at the houses of our enemies.

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I bought a little notebook to keep track of who’s above the law.

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When I was a kid, I had to walk to Netflix.

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Being naked with shoes on feels more naked than being totally naked.

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When I die, I hope I’m remembered for my ability to take any bad situation and make it worse.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

I don’t think humans were put on this earth to know what Salesforce is. It’s unnatural.