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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

They should list at least one alien “as himself” in the Star Wars credits.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

Big city friend is complaining about a 10 minute wait for a subway while I sit here waiting for the rail replacement horse.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

Hey there, Delilah, we know you broke that dude’s heart.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

(pausing the TV and turning to my kids) Now I want to talk to you guys for a second about what Bart just told that man to do.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

I’m at the age when riding around town, I say, “When did they build that?”

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

I ran out of toilet paper so I had to start using old newspapers. The Times are rough.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

How come all the single people don’t need no one, and all the married ones need two?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

494 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,087

Funny Quotes Topics

17,241

Funny Quotes Images

15,087

Updated

Dec 19, 2025

Users Online

3,974

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Twitch:

At the Pride and Prejudice showing booing whenever Prejudice comes on screen.

Shared recently on Twitch:

When I turned into the harbor of marriage, I didn’t know that a warship was anchored there.

Trending via Twitch:

In Russia, the cold complains about you.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Mad that so many renaissance artists were named after ninja turtles.

Live now on Facebook:

Life is so boring when you don’t have a package on the way.

Trending via Threads:

I hate being responsible for my own meals because I’ll either spoil myself or starve for most of the day.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

David Attenborough narrating my life: “He’s still sleeping.”

Home is where you trust the toilet seat.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Home is where you trust the toilet seat… and hope the floor isn't too cold in the middle of the night 😅🚽 #TheStruggleIsReal"

comfort, home, humor, seat, toilet, trust

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

We went on a family vacation and it was a terrible experience. It was all whining, complaining, and tantrums. And don’t get me started on what my kids did.

2 months ago

complaining, experience, family, family vacation, kids, me, tantrum, terrible, terrible experience, vacation, whining
I’ve surpassed the need for coffee, for I have evolved into a higher state of awesome.

1 month ago

awesome, coffee, confidence, evolution, humor, i, motivation, need, positivity, self-improvement, state
They are mad because you took that knife out of your back and used it to cut ties.

1 month ago

back, betrayal, cut, humor, knife, mad, relationships, ty, used
I’m at an age where, when I’m tying my shoes, I think about what else I can do while I’m down here.

1 month ago

activity, age, else, here, humor, i, life, multitasking, sh, think, thinking, where
I was always told to eat all my food so that I’d grow to be big and strong. When exactly does the strong part kick in?

2 months ago

always, big, eat, eating, exactly, expectations, food, grow, humor, i, ID, irony, kick, strength, strong
I wonder what the other me’s are up to in other dimensions.

1 month ago

alternate, alternate dimension, curiosity, dimension, humor, i, parallel, parallel universe, self, universe, wonder

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

Best friends: they know how crazy you are but still choose to be seen in public with you.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

Who needs therapy when you can gaslight yourself into thinking that everything is fine?

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

Dads were right. Walking around with your hands behind your back and looking at everything around with a mild look of disgust and annoyance is so much fun.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

Mid-life crisis? No, no, mid-day crisis. Something happens every day.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

One week without chocolate. I can no longer hear anything in my left eye.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

Why can’t I cry money instead of tears?

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

I’m like Pooh Bear. I just want to eat, hang with my homies, and go around pantsless.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Snapchat:

“Alcohol and beautiful women” is apparently not an appropriate answer when you are asked about your weaknesses in a job interview.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Me, whenever I can easily do some yoga pose, “This can’t be right.”

Going viral on TikTok:

Went to the toilet today without my cell phone. There are 245 tiles.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

According to this box of macaroni and cheese, I am an entire family.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I’m not an early bird or a night owl, I’m some sort of permanently exhausted pigeon.

Trending via Facebook:

Bro, you’re fine. You just need an impossible sequence of events to play out in perfect order against all odds and you’ll be fine.

Spreading quickly via X:

I don’t care if my parents are disappointed in me, I’m not impressed by them either.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Home is where you trust the toilet seat.

We went on a family vacation and it was a terrible experience. It was all whining, complaining, and tantrums. And don’t get me started on what my kids did.

I’ve surpassed the need for coffee, for I have evolved into a higher state of awesome.

They are mad because you took that knife out of your back and used it to cut ties.

I’m at an age where, when I’m tying my shoes, I think about what else I can do while I’m down here.

I was always told to eat all my food so that I’d grow to be big and strong. When exactly does the strong part kick in?

I wonder what the other me’s are up to in other dimensions.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

When you have the money, you can go a whole day without eating. But when you’re broke, the dizziness starts at 6 a.m.

And for my next trick, I’ll set your soul on fire.

$20k in my bank account. – The k is silent.

I have the sex drive of a potato.

I wish rage burned calories. I would be so skinny.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Having to pay to read scientific and scholarly articles is a really disgusting and pathetic practice.

I am listening to Pharrell Williams’ smash hit song “Happy,” and understanding for the first time that it was truly intended to distress.

Hey, so this Mercury retrograde is actually really demonic and soul-crippling. Let’s wrap this up by midnight.

“I didn’t vote for this.” — people who absolutely voted for this but thought this would only hurt people they hate.

I was going to cause mischief tonight, but I climbed into my bed instead.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Called myself to see if I’d answer, sent me to voicemail. Twice.

If a zombie and vampire bite each other, who turns who?

Technically, all the money I have ever spent on food has been flushed down the toilet.

Dude, we’re biting off more than we can chew tonight if you want to pull up.

Cowboy outfits should be called ranch dressing.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Is ice cream for dinner a thing, because ice cream for dinner should be be a thing.

Next to nothing is a weird place.

My mother told me there is a girl for me in every corner of the earth, but unfortunately the earth is round.

If I complain about being out of shape, I don’t actually want fitness tips and workouts to try. I just want to complain and remain out of shape. What is wrong with you people?

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Home is where you trust the toilet seat.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

We went on a family vacation and it was a terrible experience. It was all whining, complaining, and tantrums. And don’t get me started on what my kids did.

I’ve surpassed the need for coffee, for I have evolved into a higher state of awesome.

They are mad because you took that knife out of your back and used it to cut ties.

I’m at an age where, when I’m tying my shoes, I think about what else I can do while I’m down here.

I was always told to eat all my food so that I’d grow to be big and strong. When exactly does the strong part kick in?

I wonder what the other me’s are up to in other dimensions.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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