I am losing touch with reality and I couldn’t be happier.

65 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Start every meeting with, “Let’s just agree to disagree.”

49 shares on Pinterest this month:

My signature move is me looking for my phone that I’m currently holding in my hand.

74 shares on Threads this month:

I hope this email blows your head smoove off.

95 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Everybody thinks “Free Hugs” signs are cute, unless you’re a boa constrictor.

95 shares on Facebook this month:

Perhaps moths don’t seek the light, but are simply fleeing the darkness.

16 shares on Pinterest this month:

If I ever become a ghost, I’m gonna go back and haunt college me. Tell him to hydrate.

17 shares on Twitch this month:

I won’t rest until a cure for insomnia is found.

77 shares on Snapchat this month:

It’s actually quite simple: I don’t want to eat less, I just want to weigh less.

31 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m so single, I have no one to drunk text.

100 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If you’re a guy and you’re struggling right now, just remember nobody cares, and it does get worse.