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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

For Halloween, I’m going as an emotional roller coaster.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

Flex on strangers by asking them if they remember you.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

Aura farming in front of old people by not listening to music nor checking my phone.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

I’m so thankful I had a childhood before technology took over.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

Airport security asked me if I’ve seen anything unusual. I just paid $18 for a coke & a sandwich. Let’s start with that.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

It’s amazing how cats can ignore you with both ears.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

Of course I intermittently fast. That’s when I sleep.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

Apparently there is a bird fight club who holds their meetings outside my window at about 5am.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

Living in your parent’s house is free because you pay with your soul.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

I’m sorry I don’t take orders. I barely take suggestions.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,635

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

How many of y’all are “burn a CD” and “lime wire” old?

Seen just now on Snapchat:

It’s only a family vacation if you think “We’re never doing this again” at least once.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I will marry a tall, masculine, lovey-dovey man who can’t breathe when I ignore his existence.

Breaking via Threads:

Ending my thesis paper with “but who cares what I think?”

Broadcasted on TikTok:

I will never sell out my integrity unless I am offered something for it.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Is losing your mind a hobby?

Spotted on Snapchat:

I’m begging for a day to be added in between Saturday and Sunday.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Pharaohs were buried with their hands crossed over their chest because of the belief there would be countless water slides in the after life.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Really just want to meet someone who knows what songs not to talk over.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Notice how Lorde has a song called “Tennis Court” and not “Pickleball Court”? Tired of y’all pushing that fake sport.

I am re-watching “Narcos,” and I have to say that for someone who smokes so much weed, Pablo Escobar gets a lot done.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"When your productivity level is higher than the clouds 🌿⛅ but you still forget where you left your phone 😅📱 #PabloProblems"

am, crime, crime show, done, drug, escobar, humor, i, lot, marijuana, motivation, much, Narcos, pablo, Pablo Escobar, productivity, say, show, smoking, someone, weed

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Stop using ChatGPT. I can feed you misinformation too and I’m also beautiful and funny sometimes.

0

2 months ago

AI, beautiful, ChatGPT, feed, humor, i, misinformation, self-deprecation, sometimes, stop, technology, too, wit
According to your ex, what’s exactly wrong with you?

0

2 months ago

ex, exactly, humor, question, relationship, self-reflection, wrong
I’m kind of excited about the apocalypse. I would love to eat a basement full of food.

0

2 months ago

apocalypse, basement, eat, eating, excited, food, humor, i, irony, love, survival
The problem is I am always the problem.

0

2 months ago

always, am, humor, i, introspection, irony, problem, self-awareness, self-deprecating
Group projects in school weren’t meant to teach you teamwork, they were meant to teach you how to deal with the incompetence of your coworkers in the workplace.

0

2 months ago

coworkers, deal, group, group project, humor, incompetence, lesson, life, life lesson, meant, project, school, teach, teamwork, workplace
Peter Parker having to juggle a day job with being a superhero feels kinda stupid nowadays. Just launch a Patreon, my man. Throw a PayPal link in that Spider-bio.

0

2 months ago

being, day, day job, having, humor, job, juggling, just, man, modern, modern problems, parker, Patreon, PayPal, peter, Peter Parker, problems, Spider-bio, stupid, superhero, throw

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

89 shares on TikTok this month:

The meteorologist who devised the wind chill factor has died. He was 86, but he felt like 75.

58 shares on Slack this month:

Thunder is fake. It doesn’t even sync up properly with lightning. There’s some guy who waits till he sees lightning and then he presses the thunder button.

98 shares on Twitch this month:

I love wearing sunglasses. Am I looking at your face? Am I looking at your ass? No one knows.

28 shares on WeChat this month:

You’re mistaking me with someone who’s stupid.

62 shares on Messenger this month:

Touch my butt, not my coffee.

61 shares on Pinterest this month:

Liquor on the top shelf is so expensive because the bartender has to stand on their tippy toes to reach it.

29 shares on WhatsApp this month:

“This too shall pass.” And then some other bullshit will come and take its place. It never f**king ends.

12 shares on WeChat this month:

The name Ella is short for Mozzarella.

31 shares on Facebook this month:

I postpone certain outfits until I get a certain hairstyle because, yes, it’s that deep.

42 shares on YouTube this month:

Don’t worry, nobody noticed the weird thing you did. They’re too busy with the weird thing you said.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

In the 80s, if you woke up feeling thirsty, you could drink some of your waterbed.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

I’m sorry I mistook all our laughs, long nights, sweet texts, and inside jokes as you caring. I’ll think twice before wasting my time again.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

The question “how is work” really pisses me off. Work is work, bro, I don’t know what else you want me to say.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

I have two reactions when I leave the house: Ew, the people. Ew, the weather.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

Babies invented being in a bad mood for no reason, and they continue to innovate in the field.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

Are you my pinky toe, because I will bang you on all my furniture.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

I am grateful for my experiences. I just didn’t need them all.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

Females be cheating in healthy relationships, but are faithful in toxic ones.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

If you’re having trouble finding the match to one of your socks, throw it away and the missing one will immediately show up. Follow me for more life hacks.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

My husband clearly believes that chairs just magically push themselves back in.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Threads:

Today I bought a doughnut without sprinkles. This diet thing is hard.

Seen just now on Threads:

Welcome to your 40s, where the hair shows up uninvited and looks pissed to be here.

Trending via Snapchat:

The first bowl of cereal makes you want a second, but the second makes you wish you stopped at the first.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

I wonder if people who spend all their time screaming on the internet know there are way more fun things to do.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

I think being a hopeless romantic is giving me brain damage.

Just landed via Telegram:

“Autism didn’t exist until recently!” Have you met old guys who work in hardware stores?

Just landed via WeChat:

Just spent a couple seconds concerned about the sounds my stomach was making before realizing it was a motorcycle outside.

Making waves on Reddit:

No, you’re not a “prompt engineer,” you’re a sloperator.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Watched a movie on Netflix last night that was so bad, I walked out of my own house.

Making waves on Reddit:

I’m so single right now that I stood on a cliff and shouted, “I love you,” and my echo replied, “I just wanna be friends.”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I am re-watching “Narcos,” and I have to say that for someone who smokes so much weed, Pablo Escobar gets a lot done.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Stop using ChatGPT. I can feed you misinformation too and I’m also beautiful and funny sometimes.

According to your ex, what’s exactly wrong with you?

I’m kind of excited about the apocalypse. I would love to eat a basement full of food.

The problem is I am always the problem.

Group projects in school weren’t meant to teach you teamwork, they were meant to teach you how to deal with the incompetence of your coworkers in the workplace.

Peter Parker having to juggle a day job with being a superhero feels kinda stupid nowadays. Just launch a Patreon, my man. Throw a PayPal link in that Spider-bio.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨