Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

The older I get, the more I understand why deer run in front of cars.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

I don’t understand how I can remember every word of a song from 1984, but I can’t remember why I walked into the kitchen.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

Going viral on X is like winning a lotto during the apocalypse.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

We go together like coffee and cigarettes.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

The knife is my brush, the jam my paint and the toast my canvas.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

If you finish every sentence with “as the prophecy foretold”, your coworkers will leave you alone.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

Nice tweets, bro. What medications are you on?

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

I don’t see why walking is healthy. Zombies walk constantly and they look awful.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

I met the real Santa tonight, and he said you’re all in trouble.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

Based on the amount of laundry I wash each week, I’m starting to think there are people who live here that I haven’t met yet.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,759

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Reddit:

I need to figure out what I’m going to wear to the couch on New Year’s Eve.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I’m broke in Monopoly, and my husband just asked if I want to earn $100.

Just shared via Snapchat:

The awkward moment when someone’s zipper is down and you don’t know whether to tell them or not.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Little kid on the plane to Boston says “do they speak English there?” and his mom says “kinda!”

Seen just now on Messenger:

Adulting is realizing Monday is a better ‘off day’ than Friday.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Going to the beach the day after watching Jaws hits different.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30 percent of their ice-cream.

Just landed via X:

At my size, I’d be called Buffet the Vampire Slayer.

Breaking via X:

Get a Ring camera so you can yell at your kids when they’re out front and freak them out.

Breaking via Threads:

When I learned the word “literally,” that was the beginning of the end.

I could have done without braces back then. What’s the point of having perfect teeth if I have no reason to smile?

Witty quote about braces and smiling, playful and humorous in tone.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs perfect teeth when you have a million-dollar frown to match? 😏😬 Braces: turning frowns upside down since… well, forever! 😂 #SmileWithAttitude"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

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Social Media Stars ⭐

46 shares on Slack this month:

After hearing that I have too many books and too many bookshelves, I’ve decided to cut back on the amount of people I listen to.

60 shares on Telegram this month:

Vaginally speaking, he seems nice.

63 shares on Twitch this month:

Normalize responding to work emails with: “What the hell are you talking about?”

49 shares on Threads this month:

Bacon should be free for anyone having a bad day.

18 shares on Twitch this month:

Having a crush on someone as an adult feels like a humiliation ritual.

79 shares on Discord this month:

They said I can never go back to that Vietnamese spot. They banh mi pho life.

77 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If you want people to have kind words when you pass, you should say kind words when you’re alive.

48 shares on Facebook this month:

If I had a boyfriend, I’d watch him dig a hole at the beach and be like, “Wowww, baby, good job. That’s a beautiful hole.

83 shares on Snapchat this month:

They invented the word metallic, because irony was already taken.

74 shares on Twitch this month:

Them: Good morning! Me: Where?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Have you tried just not thinking about it? Like, ever again?

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Gonna eat birthday cake all day because it’s someone’s birthday out there, and we’re about to celebrate together, stranger.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Kinda messed up that the government knows my birthday but never sends me a gift or anything.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

What is that job called where you put the little stickers on fruit? I think I would be good at that.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Quitting my job to pursue my true passion: not working.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Every day we get closer and closer to Idiocracy coming true.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t know about you guys, but when I have to make a decision I analyze the situation, evaluate the risk, take measures to limit the consequences and then I completely screw up.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Apologies for the delays. The suitcase smashing machine has broken down, so we’re having to smash suitcases by hand.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Twitter is fun because you can tweet about hashbrowns and someone will say you are responsible for genocide.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Lord of the Rings is wild cause Gandalf told Frodo he had to go on a super dangerous journey and Frodo was like “Ok, can I bring my gardener?”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,345

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

Made a lot of mistakes in my life, but adding more cheese than a recipe calls for isn’t one of them.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

When I was a kid, I thought cicadas were the sound sunshine makes when it’s real hot outside.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Waitress: “Do you have any questions about the menu?” Me: “What kind of font is this?

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

Girls be like, “I hate this man,” then have sex with him.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

At a job interview: think of me as the rightful heir to the throne.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

Remember that your face is literally a combination of hundreds of generations of people who fell in love!

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

Please respond to the messages I almost sent you.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

When people give me directions and they’re like “you can’t miss it,” I’m like, “Oh, you do not know what I’m capable of.”

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

There should be bloopers at the end of horror films to relax the viewer before sleeping.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

My weight loss journey is just the three hours in between meals.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Applying for jobs sometimes is wild, like how am I supposed to be passionate about a company I don’t even work for yet?

Breaking via TikTok:

There are two classes of travel: first class and with children.

Going viral on WeChat:

Why fall in love when you can fall asleep?

Going viral on TikTok:

The older I get, the more I realize that being rushed by someone is a form of manipulation.

Making waves on YouTube:

Hey! (with the intention of going back to sleep)

Live now on LinkedIn:

I wonder if people who spend all their time screaming on the internet know there are way more fun things to do.

Trending via Slack:

I wanna be crazy rich. I’m already crazy, so I’m half way there.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Maybe you should eat some makeup so you can be pretty on the inside too.

Just landed via Threads:

My train of thought derailed. There were no survivors.

Trending via Discord:

Lady just asked me what “mansplaining” is. I think it’s a trap. We’ve been staring at each other in silence for half an hour.

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