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When I am calculating any risk, I think to myself: is this first cat life behavior? Or ninth cat life behavior?

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I just want to be rich enough to stop having to pretend that Iโ€™m getting work done.

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I just finally discovered what’s wrong with my brain: on the left side there is nothing right and on the right side, there is nothing left.

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Itโ€™s awkward touching hands with another man inside a popcorn bag, especially if you don’t know the man and he doesn’t know youโ€™re eating his popcorn.

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We all have that person who insists on using a blanket on the couch, no matter the weather.

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If I was ever told to โ€œdress to impressโ€, my first thought would be to get the Batman suit out.

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Breakfast is the most important beer of the day.

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At least men and women can agree on one thing: it feels amazing to take a bra off.

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Why there is always a kid crying when I go to the store? Dude, you arenโ€™t the one paying for it. Stop!

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If at first you don’t succeed then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.

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I deliberately don’t go to bed early. I don’t want to look like I could be useful for anything the next day.

I deliberately don’t go to bed early. I don’t want to look like I could be useful for anything the next day.

Commentary:
"Who needs productivity when you can have a flawless excuse for sleeping in? ๐Ÿ˜‚ Keep dodging responsibilities like a pro, because who wants to be useful, right? ๐Ÿ›Œ๐Ÿ’ค #SleepIsLife"



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