Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

Lost my Thesaurus. Gutted. Really gutted. Like absolutely gutted.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

Giant-sized bag of candy: I’m resealable. Me: That won’t be necessary.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

Why is there so much day left at the end of my patience?

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

Never get in between a girl and her fries. It’s just common sense really.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

I love Queen and David Bowie, but why did they steal that riff from Vanilla Ice?

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

Needing to stretch is so funny. Your body is like “Ughhh, make me longer!”

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

Ah, the magical land of Monday—the gift that keeps not giving!

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

Damn girl, are you a plate of microwaved leftovers? Because you’re hot on the outside and cold on the inside.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

Why did they call it long distance running and not fardio?

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

I want whatever the people who run at 6 a.m. have.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 19, 2026

3,527

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I need to stop drinking so much. Did I say drinking? I meant thinking. I definitely need to drink more.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

My favorite color is money.

Going viral on Telegram:

Increasing the amount of high fives I give my boss each day until he quits his job.

Shared recently on YouTube:

“What do your tattoos mean?” They mean I can sit still for a long time.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

I still get so surprised every time someone I find attractive finds me attractive. Like, are you sure?

Seen just now on Threads:

Stop asking me if I’m tired. Can’t I just be ugly?

Just shared via Facebook:

Well, it took several decades, but I might have finally run out of things to say.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Reminder that you need to be scrolling all day to monitor the situation.

Spotted on Slack:

Every house has a smell that only the people living in it don’t smell.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Why call it a “step dad” when you could have called it a faux pas?

I find it hard to believe I used to just answer my phone when it rang. No caller ID. No idea who was calling. Just picked it up and said “hello” like a goddam daredevil.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the good ol' days of answering the phone blindly 📞😱 It was a wild time of thrilling unknowns! Ring, ring – cue the daredevil 'hello' 😆 Who needs caller ID when you've got nerves of steel? 🦸‍♂️💥 #BraveAnsweringSkills"

answer, answering, believe, bravery, caller, caller ID, calling, communication, daredevil, hard, hello, i, ID, idea, just, nostalgia, phone, picked, surprise, used

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

78 shares on Reddit this month:

If pills are too toxic to flush down the toilet, you probably shouldn’t swallow them.

36 shares on WeChat this month:

In your 20s, you will be tempted to prove that you’re doing well. It’s important you resist performing for an audience that isn’t watching.

94 shares on TikTok this month:

Prison pen pal doesn’t want us to write each other anymore. Finds my life too depressing.

24 shares on Instagram this month:

I would prefer not to.

21 shares on TikTok this month:

Sorry for texting back instantly. My phone is in my hand, I’m mature, and I like you.

64 shares on YouTube this month:

Apparently, responding to a wedding invitation with “maybe next time” is wrong. I know that now.

15 shares on Instagram this month:

I wish I loved exercising as much as I love not exercising.

66 shares on YouTube this month:

Babies first steal your glasses and then bite your nose. I don’t know where they get their reputation.

42 shares on Slack this month:

I set up a Nativity scene, but since baby Jesus hasn’t arrived yet, all the Wise Men are just looking down at their phones.

90 shares on X this month:

I’ve finally found out what chronology is. And it’s about time.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t believe in yourself, you can’t do it.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry, can’t. The pears I bought a couple days ago have ripened.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so sick of TV shows and movies where there are no likable characters. I don’t need to spend an hour with people I hate, I already have my life.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Being abducted by aliens could be just the vacation I need right now.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

The collective noun for a group of reply guys is an audacity.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Airports should have tattoo parlors for those of us with long layovers and poor impulse control.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Dating again after you break up with a long-term partner is like dying in a video game and ending up back at the start to do it all again, except with less health.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

That gap between Christmas and New Year’s when you can’t tell what day of the week it is.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I may have bags under my eyes, but they’re Versace.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve just turned off the news and put on a serial killer documentary to relax.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,265

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

The marriage rate has been trending downward. Choreographed wedding dances may be the reason.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

I thought being an adult meant cake for breakfast, not budgeting for therapy.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

Today, I noticed that the cover of my ironing board was wrinkled, and I laughed at the irony. Then I laughed again because of the word “irony.”

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

Just because I loved you at one point doesn’t mean I will always love you. I’m not Whitney Houston.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

A dating app for people who are way too into cookies, called Crumble.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

“I don’t do politics.” Politics will do you, my brother and sister. Politics will do you like mad.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

Getting an extra 20 minutes in the day when someone cancels a meeting is like finding a penny on the ground. Not gonna use it for anything, but wow, am I excited.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

The only exercise I done last month was running out of money.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

There’s no filter on my pics or my thoughts. I’m just out here raw-dogging it.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

Good morning to everyone except people that talk to the cashier about their entire day.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via LinkedIn:

People who work in retail should be allowed to slap a customer or two each Christmas, as a little treat.

Seen just now on Twitch:

You’d be surprised how many times you can use the word succulent in a work email.

Trending via Threads:

I grew up in a poor family. We didn’t have much, but we had each other. And that was the worst part.

Making waves on Reddit:

Does no one disappear in the Bermuda Triangle anymore, or is there just too much other news?

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Before we all die from nuclear war or a global climate crisis, can we get a little alien invasion as a treat.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Please don’t tell me how bad your life was growing up; we had to manually roll up our cars’ windows.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Thinking of starting a true crime podcast. Gotta explain this search history somehow.

Shared recently on Reddit:

All this suffering on earth because someone ate an apple once.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Carefully choosing which wine to pair with a McRib.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

What if AirPods had tongues and they started licking the inside of your ears to indicate they’re low on battery?

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