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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

Sometimes happiness is just having a good night’s sleep.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

My favorite unit of measurement is smithereens.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

I’m bringing back “hold your horses” and nobody can stop me.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

My son was praying for “everybody in the world.” If you suddenly start experiencing good fortune, you’re welcome.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

German couples probably have less arguments because there’s an exact word for, “I’m fine, just annoyed you forgot the milk again”.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

I’m willing to do anything for a job except write a cover letter.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

I’m just a girl looking for another snack.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

Nothing bores me like twins who don’t look alike, you should’ve just dropped later if you’re not going to participate.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

Most people don’t listen at all, they just wait until they can continue talking.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

Sometimes, before bedtime, I fall asleep on the couch. It’s my little sleep appetizer… my nappetizer.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,316

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on X:

I’ve had enough. I’m ready to spend an eternity in the arms of my lover.

Spotted on Instagram:

What would boomers do without their paper shredder?

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

My problem with Christmas shopping is that I keep seeing things that I like… for me.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Handing the bus driver a $50 bill and telling him “Just drive”.

Just landed via YouTube:

Did the people you had a crush on always like you back or are you funny?

Going viral on Messenger:

Parents be like “why aren’t you eating, don’t you like my food?” and after you eat a ton, they’ll say “you look a little chubby, maybe you should eat less.”

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

“Stop talking about old drama!” God forbid a girl and her bestie enjoy their history lessons.

Just landed via Instagram:

I lied. There’s no sex. Can you help me put this fitted sheet on my mattress?

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Adult peer pressure is seeing your neighbor mow his lawn.

Spotted on X:

Getting your hair washed by someone else is one of life’s greatest joys no one really speaks about often.

I have this rare skin disease called perfect.

2 weeks ago

Witty text about confidence and self-love with a humorous tone.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Living with the 'rare skin disease' called perfect must be rough… I mean, who wouldn't want flawless skin all day, every day? 💁‍♂️✨ Just remember, imperfections make us unique and interesting. Embrace the quirks, darling! 😉🌟"

disease, humor, i, irony, joke, perfect, self-confidence, skin, skin disease

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

97 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Gonorrhea would’ve been a great name for diarrhea medicine.

27 shares on X this month:

Yeah, Instagram is bad for our mental health, but what about Outlook?

14 shares on WeChat this month:

You ever have your knees crack so good that you expect them to glow in the dark. Yeah, me too.

67 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The bowling ball actually hangs out with the pins after work. There isn’t beef there.

46 shares on Twitch this month:

Adulting in 3 words: it’s always something.

81 shares on X this month:

Men be like, “I want you.” Yeah, to suffer.

74 shares on WeChat this month:

A peaceful transition of power happening between me and this cigarette just now.

68 shares on Instagram this month:

I don’t have to take this abuse from you; I’ve got hundreds of people dying to abuse me.

35 shares on Reddit this month:

No more fun facts. I want to know what your last nightmare was about.

86 shares on TikTok this month:

The perfect job for me would be the person staining things for detergent commercials.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Armed robbers are so weird. Why are you beating me when I don’t have money?

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Some of us better hope Santa doesn’t check social media, because if he does, all we’re getting for Christmas is therapy.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

How do they know an animal is extinct? Like, have you really looked everywhere?

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Whoever coined, “No good deed goes unpunished”, must have fed some seagulls.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish my midlife crisis made me want to get a gym membership and a revenge body, but instead I’m eating Snickers for breakfast in bed.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I do not use AI, I use Reddit commenters’ opinions as fact because they are right.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

The most disturbing thing about waking up at 4 a.m. is realizing some people do this on purpose so they can exercise.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

We interrupt coverage of one horrible story for breaking news of another horrible story.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m delusional but self-aware, I call that Delaware.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,632

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

I love people who refuse to follow the crowd. The crowd is always lost, follow your inner compass.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

I just want everyone to know that somebody cares. Not me, but somebody does.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

What a lot of people don’t understand about mountain climbing is that don’t do that.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

All I’m saying is that porn gives us an unrealistic expectation of how quickly the electrician shows up.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

Very disappointed by the symbolism of last night’s dream. Just really obvious, derivative stuff.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

Asking doctors about nutrition is like asking software engineers about printers, they really have no idea.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

People will say stuff like “Well, at least if WWIII happens, I won’t have to go to work…” I think in your heart you know that’s not true.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

Bringing a fitted sheet to a knife fight.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

I made coffee and carried it to the couch. I’ve done everything I had planned for this Sunday.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

Taking off my house pajamas to put on my errands pajamas.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

I think you misunderstood – when I said, “Let me look into it,” that meant, “I don’t know exactly how to tell you no just yet.”

Breaking via TikTok:

You think you’re cool and then you see a video of yourself running.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Asking women for sex just to end the conversation.

Spotted on Telegram:

You’re never too old to shout, “Mooooo,” when you drive past some cows.

Making waves on Instagram:

Women are like a fitted sheet. No matter what you do or how hard you try, they just never seem to cooperate.

Just shared via Telegram:

Home Depot should allow men over 40 to have birthday parties in their stores.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

I love when my cat sighs at me, like what’s got you stressed out my little freeloading homicidal maniac!?

Breaking via X:

Ninety percent of my new follows are beautiful women, which tells me one thing: I’ve still got it!

Making waves on YouTube:

There is a house I drive by most days and I can never tell if they are having a yard sale or that is just how they live.

Just shared via YouTube:

Can we normalize arguing with little kids? They’re so rude.

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