Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

A house doesn’t have to be haunted to scare me, I’ve seen the listing prices.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

Aliens traveled millions of light years to get here to visit New Jersey.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

If you’re doing Dry January, please, please, keep it to yourself. Nobody cares, and you’re probably even more boring without alcohol.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

I’m just falling in love with my problems now. Maybe they’ll leave me too.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

I’m bringing back “hold your horses” and nobody can stop me.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

Made it to Friday, but at what cost? Monday is literally in 20 minutes.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

Someone asked, “Can I bum a scroll?” because they deleted Instagram off their phone.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

If I was an elephant, you’d all be sorry.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

On Halloween, I’ll be handing out full size bars of really bad advice. Only while supplies last.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

Don’t throw hate at me, throw money!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

508 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,101

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,101

Dec 23, 2025

3,816

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Please no more relationships that are supposed to be a lesson. I’m already quite the scholar.

Trending via Slack:

I’m so old, I still keep special moments in my heart and not in my Insta story.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Does running actually get easier if you do it a lot, or is it that you just get more masochistic?

Trending via Reddit:

I delete posts cause I be getting mature over the hours.

Freshly posted on Threads:

It’s amazing how cats can ignore you with both ears.

Going viral on Instagram:

Don’t let me drive if you’re gonna scream every time we almost die.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Tensing up so the masseuse doesn’t win.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Is this art or trash?

Broadcasted on X:

Coffee just tastes better when you are the only one awake in the morning.

Just landed via Messenger:

“Life is a marathon, not a sprint.” Cool, I dislike both of those things.

I have this rare skin disease called perfect.

1 month ago

0

I have this rare skin disease called perfect.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Living with the 'rare skin disease' called perfect must be rough… I mean, who wouldn't want flawless skin all day, every day? 💁‍♂️✨ Just remember, imperfections make us unique and interesting. Embrace the quirks, darling! 😉🌟"

disease, humor, i, irony, joke, perfect, self-confidence, skin, skin disease

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Attempted to exercise this morning. Didn’t work out.

0

2 months ago

attempt, exercise, fitness, humor, morning, motivation, work, workout
One of the great things about being a dad is how easy it is to launder my own desire for ice cream through my children.

0

2 months ago

children, desire, father, ice cream, kids
Every time the universe sends me a sign, I’m like, okay, but I think I’ll wait for a signier sign.

0

2 months ago

cosmic, every, humor, i, me, okay, patience, sign, signs, think, time, universe, wait, waiting
Reverse cowgirl, so we can both address the elephant in the room.

0

1 month ago

address, adult, adult humor, both, cheeky, cowgirl, double, double entendre, elephant, entendre, funny phrase, humor, humor quote, innuendo, metaphor, phrase, playful, reverse, room, sexual, sexual innuendo
It’s easy to keep me happy: feed me sunshine in summer — and keep me warm in winter.

0

1 month ago

comfort, easy, feed, happiness, happy, keep, me, mood, summer, sunshine, warm, warmth, weather, winter
I talk a lot of shit for someone who is startled by my own toast popping up while I’m watching it. Every. Single. Time.

0

2 months ago

every, everyday, everyday life, humor, i, life, own, popping, relatable, shit, single, someone, startled, talk, time, toast, watching

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

17 shares on Threads this month:

Female breasts are nature’s anti-stress balls. The irony is that they are connected to the biggest stress-inducing device.

55 shares on Pinterest this month:

Jingle all the way? In this economy?

84 shares on YouTube this month:

Touched a tree and accidentally absorbed 400 years of wisdom and 2 squirrel secrets.

69 shares on TikTok this month:

Made the mistake of believing what I was told again.

30 shares on Snapchat this month:

Sometimes I see how many vacations people take and I wonder if I’m bad with money or if they are.

71 shares on Twitch this month:

I followed my heart. It led me to the fridge.

97 shares on Telegram this month:

Marriage is between two people: one person who is on the verge of sleep and one person who is asking if the front door is locked.

53 shares on Threads this month:

I was the most patient parent and then I had kids.

24 shares on WeChat this month:

I bought a “How to Be Spontaneous” course… it starts in six months.

24 shares on Instagram this month:

I’ve convinced myself bumblebees don’t sting because they’re too fluffy and cute.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

“What’s wrong with you?” Right now or in general?

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry I missed your call when I pressed decline.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Yesterday, thieves broke into my home. They searched everywhere and found nothing. They beat me up, telling me to work harder.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Have to write a note to my kid’s first grade teacher, and now I’m stressed out about my handwriting.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Actually, it’s illegal to be upset if you make a date on Halloween and they ghost you.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so tired of not being a multimillionaire.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I put the “sexy” in “dyslexic.”

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t always carry all the groceries on one arm, but when I do, my keys are in the wrong pocket.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

You can’t confuse me. I already don’t know what’s going on.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Why did they have to bleep out everything R2D2 said?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

508 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,101

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,101

Updated

Dec 23, 2025

Users Online

3,676

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

I can’t be bothered with people that can’t be bothered.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

Easy there, unsaved number.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

My nutritionist told me wine doesn’t count as a fruit source so now I need to find a different nutritionist.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

If you’re doing Dry January, please, please, keep it to yourself. Nobody cares, and you’re probably even more boring without alcohol.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

I’m broke — I got money, but it’s for responsibilities.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

My workout is reading in bed until my arms hurt.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

My real introduction to classical music came from watching Tom & Jerry cartoons as a kid. Also how I got into sadism.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

I’m going to write a book about all the things I should have done with my life. l’ll call it my oughtabiography.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

If you think about it, Santa really has the best job, he works one day a year and spends the rest of his time judging people.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

The man who invented the Ferris wheel never met the man who invented the merry-go-round. They traveled in different circles.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Threads:

I have three kids. I should be terrified of sex.

Seen just now on WeChat:

With great power comes a great electricity bill.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Google Maps should start screaming the more wrong turns you make.

Trending via X:

Hate all political parties and you’ll never be disappointed.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Due to inflation, you can now eat food that has been on the floor for up to 7.3 seconds.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Pornhub should do a wrap-up of your year like Spotify does.

Going viral on Discord:

All the world’s a stage, and I always forget my line.

Trending via Slack:

For International Women’s Day, I’m going to celebrate by hitting every curb I see.

Going viral on X:

Why would I spend money on the zoo when I can watch my colleagues for free?

Making waves on X:

Going to the gym for my health and wellbeing? No, I just wanna look good naked.

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