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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

Take your days off, these jobs don’t care about you.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

“I’m getting to an age where I realize I shouldn’t have laughed at my grandparents for having an ‘upstairs’ vacuum.”

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

Normalize having a threatening aura, but really just being a sweetheart.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

Not to brag but I can chop an onion without crying. And I can cry without chopping an onion.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

You ever been in the middle of a conversation and realized this is why you avoid people?

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

My husband said it would be easier if we had a Christmas house that we moved into in December, instead of taking all these decorations out.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

I have no beef with vegetarians.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

Honestly, shopping beats therapy, anytime. It costs the same and you get a dress out of it.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

I love you to the refrigerator and back.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

That awkward moment when you gently throw your phone onto your bed and it decides to bounce off 3 walls, knock over a lamp, and land on the floor.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,385

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on YouTube:

The Internet is fun because you can post about banana bread and somehow end up in a fight.

Trending via Twitch:

If you see me out in public but we haven’t talked since high school, let’s keep it that way.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Perks of dating me: you will be the hot one.

Making waves on Facebook:

There are real people living amongst us who pay for Discord Nitro.

Trending via TikTok:

Calm yourself, Lucifer. You did the right thing coming to me for advice.

Seen just now on WeChat:

There should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after a vacation.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Sure sex is cool, but have you ever farted away a stomachache?

Spotted on WeChat:

Everything feels like thinking the stripper actually likes you.

Shared recently on Threads:

Walking on egg shells? In this economy?

Making waves on Reddit:

Is everyone enjoying their entire month of August off work with full pay? Oh yeah, I forgot, only Congress gets to do that.

I have three kids. I should be terrified of sex.

Witty quote about parenthood and chaos, humorously highlighting the challenges of having kids.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Having three kids is like playing a high-stakes game of Monopoly – you've already built hotels on Boardwalk and Park Place, so rolling the dice again might just bankrupt you!"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

14 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Dear diary, sorry for only ever talking about myself. How are you? Do you have any hobbies?

35 shares on Pinterest this month:

I would rather lose you than the argument.

98 shares on Slack this month:

It takes so much energy to go inside a Walmart.

95 shares on WhatsApp this month:

A fitness trainer showed me the proper way to inhale and exhale and then got pissed when I told her she had nice breaths.

11 shares on Pinterest this month:

Welcome to the internet, where people are confidently wrong all the time.

29 shares on Twitch this month:

Don’t argue with her. Just say “you remind me of my ex” then walk away.

21 shares on Twitch this month:

I just sneezed and farted at the same time. I think my body just took a screenshot.

65 shares on Discord this month:

Honestly, shopping beats therapy, anytime. It costs the same and you get a dress out of it.

83 shares on Twitch this month:

To whoever stole my oversized clock, you owe me big time.

40 shares on Threads this month:

Calm down, engine light, if I can run on broken parts, so can you.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Sex is cool, but have you ever had a can opener that actually works?

10 folks are currently checking 👀

You never know how strong you are until someone’s story runs more than 5 minutes long.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m basically a taxi today for the kids and dogs.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

You can always tell it’s Monday because nobody’s smiling.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Always remember you’re unique, just like everyone else.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I run a parody bank account.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Unfortunately, I do enjoy watching the downfall of people who did me wrong.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m having people over to stare at their phones later, if you want to come by.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

We’re in the middle of a snowstorm with no cake in the house. I never expected to perish like this.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,455

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

Travelling through the US by car is beautiful because you feel like a blood cell in a very sick man’s body.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

We are gathered here today because our ancestors didn’t have condoms.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

I find it hard to believe I used to just answer my phone when it rang. No caller ID. No idea who was calling. Just picked it up and said “hello” like a goddam daredevil.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

When I was a kid, no phones or tablets. We just read the cereal box at breakfast.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

If you don’t laugh at my jokes then I will.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

Netflix subtitles be like “speaking foreign language”. Bro, translate it!

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

I had a hard time coping with the divorce. I’m fine now, but at first I was almost crazy with joy.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

Milk teeth are wasted on children. A new set of teeth would be a lot more useful when you’re older.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

If you wanna make someone cry, just show them the earliest year they can retire.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

My boyfriend invited the neighbors over for dinner, “sometime,” so now we have to move.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Twitch:

I never used to worry about death but now I’m terrified it will break my winning Wordle streak.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

We should be able to call in healthy: “I feel amazing today, and I’m not wasting it at work.”

Shared recently on Facebook:

There’s something so spiritual about new life. When I look my baby nephew in the eyes, I can’t stop thinking about how amazing it will be to connect with him on LinkedIn.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

We should thank heaven for nipples. Without them boobs would be pointless.

Shared recently on Messenger:

In my experience, bowling and pancakes have the same energy. High hopes at the beginning, lowered self-esteem at the end.

Seen just now on Slack:

I deal with my personal problems the same way I study for tests, I don’t.

Shared recently on TikTok:

It’s almost time to put winter tires on the struggle bus.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Deodorant? No, I never need to buy any. People just give it to me. Complete strangers sometimes.

Shared recently on Threads:

When I’m not posting or returning messages, just know that I’m probably out doing superhero shit.

Going viral on YouTube:

Money will not leave you on read for 9 hours.

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