Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

Today is one of those days where I have to remind myself that you’re not allowed to strangle people.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

Massage therapist asked how I felt about chiropractics and I told her the guy who invented it says he learned it from a ghost, and that shut the conversation down pretty quick.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

Humanity doesn’t always make a compelling case for its continued existence.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

What was the name of the boat in Titanic?

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

How much chocolate is too much chocolate before it is technically no longer a salad?

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

I’m experimenting with how many apples I need to eat a day to keep everyone away, whatever their profession.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

That awkward moment when someone you hate is breathing.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

Yesterday I really wanted tacos and now I’m eating tacos. Follow your dreams!

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

Whoever’s been in charge of the weather for the last few weeks seems to have fallen asleep on the couch with the remote control in their hand.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

I’ve got nothing against kids, I just don’t understand why you’d want indoor kids.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,591

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

Taking a dog named shark to the beach is a bad idea.

Making waves on Instagram:

My dentist plays country music, so it’s like a double torture.

Going viral on WeChat:

My life is ruined. I wish to live no more. Never mind, I found the remote.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Hey! Remember in the first grade when we were all just chilling and then some kid would throw up out of nowhere?

Spotted on Discord:

Wonder what I should wear to World War III.

Live now on Discord:

Even worse than the buzzing of the mosquitoes is the moment when it suddenly stops.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

It’s cold and dark outside, made me think of you.

Just shared via X:

My tapeworm is starting a podcast about the McRib.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Texting my boss to let him know how excited I am for work tomorrow.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Sometimes life is like a cowshed. You step from one turd into the next.

I lied. There’s no sex. Can you help me put this fitted sheet on my mattress?

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When you realize holding onto the corner of a fitted sheet is the most committed relationship you’ve ever been in 😂🛏️

bedroom, domestic, domestic task, fitted, fitted sheet, help, honesty, humor, i, lie, mattress, me, put, relationship, sex, sheet, task

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Welcome to your 50s… A new pain will be be assigned to you shortly.

0

2 months ago

50s, age, age humor, aging, humor, joke, life, life stage, middle, middle age, new, pain, stage, welcome
Iced coffee and crying, the most Californian afternoon.

0

3 months ago

afternoon, beverage, california, coffee, crying, emotions, humor, iced, iced coffee, most
McDonald’s only giving me 9 Chicken Nuggets instead of 10 is how my villain origin story began.

0

2 months ago

chicken, chicken nugget, chicken nuggets, comedy, disappointment, exaggeration, fast, fast food, food, giving, humor, McDonald’s, me, nugget, nuggets, only, origin, origin story, story, villain
“You just want an easy life.” Should I want a difficult one?

0

2 months ago

challenge, choice, difficult, difficult life, easy, easy life, humor, i, just, life, life philosophy, philosophy, should, simplicity, want
She got me to fall for her, like a boomer seeing an AI image on Facebook.

0

4 months ago

AI, AI image, boomer, dating, Facebook, fall, falling, falling in love, gap, generation, generation gap, got, humor, image, love, me, media, seeing, social, social media, technology
“Unavailable” is my favorite state to be in.

0

1 month ago

alone, alone time, favorite, favourite, humor, introvert, life, mood, relaxation, social, social life, state, time, unavailable

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

51 shares on Twitch this month:

My parents think they know me.

73 shares on Telegram this month:

In general, I like company, but not when I am with my pizza.

46 shares on Telegram this month:

I love sarcasm. It’s like punching people in the face, but with words.

60 shares on Snapchat this month:

You know you’re over 50 when you have “upstairs Ibuprofen” and “downstairs Ibuprofen”.

85 shares on Instagram this month:

Nobody has ever been given a cheeseburger and been upset about it.

48 shares on Twitch this month:

“This was on sale!” is why I’m always broke.

70 shares on Instagram this month:

Women always want to marry intelligent men. What they don’t know: Intelligent men don’t want to marry.

63 shares on Pinterest this month:

It’s funny how it’s often easier to access academic resources illegally, even when you have university library access.

12 shares on Pinterest this month:

I wish it was socially acceptable to DM someone, “Hey, why did you and your partner break up?”

51 shares on Slack this month:

It’s so cold that men who wear shorts outside in the winter are wearing TWO pairs of shorts.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

I have no issue with people talking in the morning. But not with me, please!

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

Money saved by using public transport instead of an Uber is paid for with your time and mental health instead.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

I am dressing for the job I want. I want to be a sweatpants model.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

That uncontrollable urge to hurt myself and others when a film’s subtitles are slightly out of sync.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

“Well, at least things can’t get any worse” has turned out to be a failure of my imagination.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

There’s no bigger test of patience than typing your email address in on a TV with the remote.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

When a man gets married he has a moral obligation to scare his wife when he sneezes.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

I love how all the movies about teenagers have to be set in the 90s or earlier otherwise we’d just be watching kids on their phones for two hours.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

April fools prank: replace all the sugar in your house with cocaine.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

My boss told me to show initiative, so I decided to finish work early.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Discord:

Watched a movie on Netflix last night that was so bad, I walked out of my own house.

Live now on Snapchat:

When I trip, I always look back to see who or what did it, because it couldn’t have possibly been my fault.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Just broke a clothes hanger and now have seven years of bad outfits.

Breaking via Threads:

Took a bunch of Ibuprofen to keep my posts from being too inflammatory.

Just shared via Telegram:

As a proud husband and father in my 40s, my New Year’s resolution is to sneeze even louder this year.

Just shared via Telegram:

Your call is very important to us, here’s six days of irritating music.

Seen just now on Threads:

I take issue with furniture that deliberately moves 1 inch when you’re in a rush to get by.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Does anyone want to fall in love and split rent with me?

Going viral on Snapchat:

So deep in her Instagram story, I accidentally liked an ad for a Toyota.

Shared recently on Threads:

The difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body is that I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I lied. There’s no sex. Can you help me put this fitted sheet on my mattress?

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Welcome to your 50s… A new pain will be be assigned to you shortly.

Iced coffee and crying, the most Californian afternoon.

McDonald’s only giving me 9 Chicken Nuggets instead of 10 is how my villain origin story began.

“You just want an easy life.” Should I want a difficult one?

She got me to fall for her, like a boomer seeing an AI image on Facebook.

“Unavailable” is my favorite state to be in.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨