Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

Job applications be like “how did you hear about us?”. Bro why, was it a secret?

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

Your honor, my client wasn’t trying to stab the victim. He was checking to see if he was cake.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

Apparently I lack empathy, according to some stupid cow in HR.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

That stupid look on my face is my face.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

British people be like “It’s Chewsday, innit?”

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

I remember when “disinformation” used to be called “lies.”

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

Me to HR: Okay, but you have to admit that was funny.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

If you want to feel really bad about yourself, just start dating.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

I’m not speaking to my husband, and I don’t think he even knows it.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

I’m soirée for my mispronunciation of French words.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,589

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Nighty night! Don’t let the horror of existence bite.

Making waves on Twitch:

Grab your own butt! Love yourself!

Spreading quickly via Slack:

So I used to wonder about people that paid a fortune for those little bottles of Evian water, until I read it backwards.

Spotted on Twitch:

If she says “so just what exactly is THAT supposed to mean”, you’re gonna have a bad time.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I prefer people who actually know what’s going on.

Spotted on Twitch:

Sorry, can’t. Waiting for my clothes to come back into style again.

Just landed via Telegram:

Being rich is going to look so cute on me.

Just landed via Threads:

Did you ever stop to ask how Mercury feels about being in retrograde? No, because you only think about yourself.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I have no need to judge people because of their religion, skin color or sexual orientation. Bad behavior is enough for me.

Live now on WhatsApp:

I’ve got a soft heart and a savage mouth. I’m like a Hallmark card written by Gordon Ramsay.

I lied. There’s no sex. Can you help me put this fitted sheet on my mattress?

2 months ago

Funny Quotes

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When you realize holding onto the corner of a fitted sheet is the most committed relationship you’ve ever been in 😂🛏️

bedroom, domestic, domestic task, fitted, fitted sheet, help, honesty, humor, i, lie, mattress, me, put, relationship, sex, sheet, task

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

79 shares on Twitch this month:

Pouring rain, football on TV, empty house; the stuff dreams are made of.

60 shares on Snapchat this month:

Onion rings? I’m answering.

12 shares on WeChat this month:

Armed robbers are so weird. Why are you beating me when I don’t have money?

88 shares on Messenger this month:

I was googling about the best time to visit the Maldives. It’s when you have money.

23 shares on Twitch this month:

“You’re at the age where both 1990 and 2003 are flirting with you.”

66 shares on Slack this month:

Country music is for men who need a little help crying.

39 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Life is like a roll of toilet paper, the closer to the end you get, the faster it goes.

79 shares on Facebook this month:

I only like when it rains when I’m home.

64 shares on Reddit this month:

I always like to remember the time before the internet. It was so good not to know how cruel and stupid humanity really is.

38 shares on Twitch this month:

Caffeine isn’t cutting it anymore. I need to eat a gun.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

Welcome to your 40s, you now don’t understand a single word anyone under 25 is saying.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

So sad. Elvis died before he could see the Lego movie. He woulda been like, ‘Mama, those blocks are movin’ and shakin.’

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

You are only young once. After that you have to think up some other excuse.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

My first thought upon waking up in the morning is “not again”.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

Social media may have been a mistake.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

Love to go to hipster restaurants and eat half a grilled cheese off an old license plate.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

Sorry I’m late, traffic is exactly how it’s been every day for the past couple years, and I was not expecting that.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

Sorry I’m late, I got here as soon as I wanted to.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Accidentally became important at work and it’s ruining my life.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

The paintings I always like the most in museums are the ones that have a bench.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on X:

The worst part of all-you-can-eat buffets are all the witnesses.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

I can’t watch Sex and the City anymore, because I get really upset at how much money these ladies have.

Trending via Telegram:

Every gift guide for men is like “A flannel flask to hold your knife flavored whiskey.”

Just landed via X:

Before I start seeing a psychiatrist, does anyone like me crazy?

Freshly posted on X:

I can’t stand when people need constant validation online. Like, comment, and share if you agree.

Just landed via YouTube:

Asserting dominance by starting all my private DMs with “I hope this DM finds you well.

Just shared via Threads:

If I’m ever found dead in the woods, it’s probably because I was trying to pet a bear.

Trending via WeChat:

How do I get someone to unknow me? I no longer want to be known by these people.

Trending via X:

I’m only dead on the outside.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I met the real Santa tonight, and he said you’re all in trouble.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I lied. There’s no sex. Can you help me put this fitted sheet on my mattress?

I take issue with furniture that deliberately moves 1 inch when you’re in a rush to get by.

Everybody in the world, stop fighting or no dessert.

This is not what adulthood looked like in the brochure.

An article of clothing left on the floor long enough becomes clean again because the germs eventually get bored and leave.

The biggest joke on mankind is that computers have started asking humans to prove that they are not robots.

Why is there a level 6 for toasters? As if someone thinks: “Tonight I’m really in the mood for ashes with butter!”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I lied. There’s no sex. Can you help me put this fitted sheet on my mattress?

Keep the laugh going 😂

I take issue with furniture that deliberately moves 1 inch when you’re in a rush to get by.

Everybody in the world, stop fighting or no dessert.

This is not what adulthood looked like in the brochure.

An article of clothing left on the floor long enough becomes clean again because the germs eventually get bored and leave.

The biggest joke on mankind is that computers have started asking humans to prove that they are not robots.

Why is there a level 6 for toasters? As if someone thinks: “Tonight I’m really in the mood for ashes with butter!”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨