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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

I hate people that talk to their Apple watch. Fake Power Rangers.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

I said “cool tattoo” to be nice not because I wanted to hear the 45 minute origin story.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

Stop blaming yourself for your failures. Learn astrology and blame the planets.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

Be yourself cause no one wants to be like you!

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

If you’re 20, please stop saying you’re tired. I have bananas older than you.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

Never in my life have I heard my dad sneeze at an acceptable volume.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

Once again I feel like I slept in a washing machine.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

There’s an epidemic of people just staring at their phones in their parked cars.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

Idea: An app that tells you where that bruise came from.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

I actually think it’s quite beautiful that you have to be the one to save yourself.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,862

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on TikTok:

Nobody lures you into a gingerbread house in the forest anymore.

Going viral on Facebook:

Girls want a bad boy to fix. Boys want a good girl to corrupt. Me? I just want a rumbustious monkey as a butler.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Instagram is literally just screenshots of Twitter.

Making waves on Slack:

It’s only 9am and I’ve already ruined my son’s entire life by giving him the banana with the brown spot on it.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Where does everyone go to get kisses? I haven’t figured this out yet.

Shared recently on Twitch:

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.

Going viral on WeChat:

This entire “presidency” is like being tied to a chair and watching a toddler play with a loaded pistol.

Making waves on YouTube:

If you talk about astrology, and no one stops you, it means you must be incredibly pretty.

Just shared via Facebook:

Whoever first said, “I’m in a pickle,” must have had the weirdest day.

Spotted on Twitch:

I feel like an adult spelling bee would humble a lot of us.

I lied. There’s no sex. Can you help me put this fitted sheet on my mattress?

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I lied. There’s no sex. Can you help me put this fitted sheet on my mattress?
Download image ↓

Commentary:
When you realize holding onto the corner of a fitted sheet is the most committed relationship you’ve ever been in 😂🛏️

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

83 shares on Snapchat this month:

The only person I ever call is my wife, and that’s just when we’re trying to find her phone.

59 shares on WeChat this month:

First time buying fireworks, and I wasn’t sure I’d picked the right ones until the salesman gave me a wink and high-foured me.

91 shares on YouTube this month:

Having a crush is so fun, it’s literally just butterflies and delusion.

98 shares on YouTube this month:

Dear Snapchat memory, that’s not my friend anymore.

52 shares on Threads this month:

Don’t worry, guys. Together we can eliminate logic and reason on social media. I see some of you are already ahead of the game. Way to go!

43 shares on WeChat this month:

Your honor, my client would like to play on his phone for a little bit

71 shares on YouTube this month:

I have a bit of an inferiority complex. But it’s not a very good one.

82 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Welcome to your 40s. A random back pain will be assigned to you shortly, and you’ll never know what flares it up every time.

87 shares on WeChat this month:

Let’s play a game called you bring me food and I eat it.

28 shares on Messenger this month:

I don’t always seize the day. Sometimes I poke the day with my index finger and go, ew, ew, ew, ew.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Milk teeth are wasted on children. A new set of teeth would be a lot more useful when you’re older.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Love is like a bird. Sometimes flying around me but then moving on.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

If I was a weather man, I’d leak the weather early to pretty women.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Tupperware is filing for bankruptcy. They would have kept a lid on the news but they couldn’t find one.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Let’s all be grateful for a moment that stupidity is not contagious.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

My grandad fought Germans on the beaches of Normandy. This was last summer and it was very embarrassing.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Hanging out with your parents as an adult is so interesting, cause it’s like, “Oh, so that’s why I’m like this.”

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I suck at flirting. I be like “is that so?”

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Friends come and go, like the waves of the ocean, but the true ones stay like an octopus on your face.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,597

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

The man who invented the Ferris wheel never met the man who invented the merry-go-round. They traveled in different circles.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

Ludacris once said “If you ain’t got no money take yo’ broke ass home” and I haven’t left the house since.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

If I were Noah, I’d bring three of every animal just to create some drama.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

British people be like “I’m Bri ish” cause they drank the “T”

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

Hey, if the Earth could stop air frying me, that’d be great.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

I want a president who promises no jobs. I don’t want to have a job.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

She poured the milk before the cereal. It was not meant to be.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

You either get a kid who eats like a bottomless pit, or you get one that when asked what they want for lunch answers “No thanks, I had lunch yesterday.”

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

Praying to God with a Chinese accent, and he is cracking up.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

You should be able to google what someone said to you at the bar last night.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Snapchat:

Tolerate the lactose already, you heathen.

Making waves on TikTok:

Everyone deserves a day to lie in bed naked and be anti-social. Just sayin’.

Breaking via Instagram:

Why is it spelled “camouflage” and not “ “?

Trending via Pinterest:

I’m so old, I used to cry as a child because I fell off my skateboard or bike, not because I didn’t have wifi.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Just a reminder that with Die Hard, Robin Hood and Love Actually, ‘Alan Rickman ruins Christmas’ is a whole movie subgenre.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

December, give me a sweet ending for this year please.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Don’t worry password, I’m insecure too.

Spotted on Instagram:

I should’ve been an air conditioner because all I do is vent.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Don’t rub your happiness in people’s faces this Valentine’s Day. Let the couples enjoy themselves for once.

Spreading quickly via X:

Female breasts are nature’s anti-stress balls. The irony is that they are connected to the biggest stress-inducing device.

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