Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Ah yes, the mythical sitcom job where you work for 5 minutes a day and somehow afford a sprawling NYC apartment 🏙️. If only life imitated TV more often! 📺💸 #LivingTheDream"

balance, exactly, humor, i, job, jobs, need, plans, rent, sitcom, situation, situations, social, social plans, where, work life, work-life balance

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Talking to some people is like folding a fitted sheet.

2 months ago

communication, everyday, fitted, folding, frustration, humor, interaction, patience, people, relatable, sarcasm, sheet, social, social interaction, talking
In retrospect, I guess “one drunken night of stupidity” isn’t the best response when a child asks you where babies come from.

4 months ago

awkward, awkward moment, baby, best, child, conversation, drunken, drunken night, family, family conversation, guess, honesty, humor, i, moment, night, parenting, response, retrospect, stupidity, where
I’m so single, I have no one to drunk text.

2 months ago

communication, dating, drunk, drunk text, humor, i, loneliness, relationship, single, text
I dreamed I won the lottery, so you can imagine how thrilled I was to wake up and get ready for work.

2 months ago

dream, humor, i, imagination, imagine, lottery, ready, reality, thrill, wake, wake up, work
Welcome, new followers! It’s all downhill from here.

2 months ago

downhill, follower, followers, here, humor, media, new, sarcasm, social, social media, welcome
Stop worrying if people like you. They don’t.

2 months ago

confidence, humor, people, rejection, sarcasm, self-esteem, stop, worry, worrying

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

61 shares on WeChat this month:

I have almost 100,000 miles on my office chair. So I got that going for me.

80 shares on Messenger this month:

My problem with Christmas shopping is that I keep seeing things that I like… for me.

26 shares on TikTok this month:

Me, after skipping the tutorial: how the hell do you play this game?

32 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Blood pressure too high to chase these hoes.

55 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m tired of commercials trying to be funny. Scare me into buying something. I want to be terrified of buying the wrong toothpaste.

88 shares on Messenger this month:

Sorry, I ghosted you. I liked you too much.

70 shares on Telegram this month:

Got thrown out of the grocery store for holding a rotisserie chicken up like Simba again.

50 shares on Facebook this month:

We should put a tariff on being mean to me.

16 shares on Twitch this month:

My favorite emails are the ones that say your order has shipped.

86 shares on Twitch this month:

Millionaires and multi-billion dollar companies be like, “We’re doing our part by asking the poor to donate to the poor.”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

Only at 27 do you become old, and then when you turn 30, you become younger than ever. That’s just how it goes.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

You have never experienced true fear until a poster falls off the wall in the middle of the night.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

If you’re offended by bacon, the United States of America isn’t for you.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

Out of all my body parts, I’m sure my eyes are in the best shape. I do at least 463 eye rolls a day.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

I’m going to hell in every religion.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

I’m not easily offended, but I am easily annoyed.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

Just blocked all the normal people, so if you see this… sup, weirdo.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

Went to an antique show and people started bidding on me.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

Parents become grandparents and lose all their senses. All of a sudden, they got McDonald’s money now.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

August is technically summer, but spiritually fall.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Instagram:

If painting yourself into a corner was considered art, I’d be Michelangelo.

Just shared via Instagram:

Weird how I can’t seem to reach anything at the grocery store when hot men are around.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Does bisexual mean twice as sexual or once every other sexual?

Shared recently on X:

Just got hired at Five Guys as the guy who punches the burger before they put it in the bag.

Freshly posted on Slack:

You should be allowed to speed if good music is playing.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here looking at soup recipes.

Breaking via Instagram:

My longest relationship has been with my Hotmail account.

Making waves on Messenger:

My kid tells me his toothpaste is “too spicy” but he doesn’t seem to be having any trouble with Flamin’ Hot Cheetos.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Not only do I turn down my radio to find a house or a parking spot, but I also take off my sunglasses to hear someone better.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Every group chat has that one person who never replies, and it’s me.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I need one of those jobs they have in sitcoms, where it pays my rent but interferes with exactly zero of my social plans or situations.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Talking to some people is like folding a fitted sheet.

In retrospect, I guess “one drunken night of stupidity” isn’t the best response when a child asks you where babies come from.

I’m so single, I have no one to drunk text.

I dreamed I won the lottery, so you can imagine how thrilled I was to wake up and get ready for work.

Welcome, new followers! It’s all downhill from here.

Stop worrying if people like you. They don’t.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨