Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

If your first child is uncomplicated, then it’s a trick of nature to get you to have a second child. The second will be an unpredictable bundle of energy that seems to get by without sleep.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

Washing my hands in the sink and then wiping them on my cat, like a towel.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

Taking a phone to school in primary was like smuggling drugs.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

Bag of flesh that acts weird when another bag of flesh doesn’t send symbols on glowing screen.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

Not to brag but I gave someone directions and he made it.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

God created childbirth so women could know how men feel when we have a cold.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

I’ll never understand why the volume in movies is always mixed in such a way that you can barely understand the dialog and your neighbor gets war flashbacks during action scenes.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

Ribbed condoms don’t even taste like ribs.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

I could easily win an Oscar, I just have other things going on right now.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

Imagine how loud a centipede would be if they wore tiny little flip flops.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

789 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,951

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,951

53 minutes ago

3,422

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on YouTube:

My anti-theft device in my car is that it’s manual.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I birthed my kid faster than she can put on shoes.

Breaking via WeChat:

Whenever I’m with real yappers, I realize I might actually be a listener.

Just shared via Slack:

Light is faster than sound. That’s why people seem so bright until you hear them talk.

Seen just now on TikTok:

The concept of dominant hands is hilarious to me. That one of our hands is just like, “No, I’m not helping.”

Freshly posted on X:

Hey dude, I recently became omniscient, and well, you fell off in every universe.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I just got lied to by 3K+ people. That recipe was awful.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Not to brag but I always pick the slowest moving checkout line at the grocery store.

Making waves on Discord:

My hobby is misidentifying dinosaurs so my daughter can correct me.

Spotted on YouTube:

Does anyone know if it’s possible to buy the transcripts of audiobooks? Thanks!

I offered my nephew a donut and he said “no thanks, I’m not hungry right now” and I don’t think this little guy knows how donuts work.

6 months ago

I offered my nephew a donut and he said “no thanks, I’m not hungry right now” and I don’t think this little guy knows how donuts work.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, it looks like someone needs a crash course in the divine ways of donuts 🍩! I mean, who in their right mind turns down a donut? Clearly, we're dealing with a doughnut novice here. Maybe we should enroll him in Donuts 101 for some much-needed education. Donut miss out on this opportunity, kiddo! 🤣 #DonutDilemma #SprinkleSomeSense

donut, donuts, food, guy, humor, hungry, i, kids, knows, little, misunderstanding, nephew, right, thanks, think, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

789 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,951

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,951

53 minutes ago

3,440

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

We could all be hibernating right now but noooooo we have to be “adults” with “responsibilities”.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

I’m pretty sure my husband’s favorite sound is the oven range fan turning on when I start making dinner.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

Imagine if spiders giggled when they ran away from us.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

My mom asked me where I’m taking her to eat on Mother’s Day. I told her we have food at home.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

If you have a Roomba, but don’t dress it up in little outfits, then what are you even doing?

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

Every man’s biggest fear is trying a new barber.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

AI is that friend who is always there for you but gives terrible advice.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

The bad news is there was a lot of turbulence on my flight this morning. The good news is my phone counted it as steps.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

There’s no one I respect more than duck hunters. You spent $15,000 on a camouflage boat to outsmart a duck.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

Of all the things to lose, why couldn’t it have been my appetite and not my mind?

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Snapchat:

Hiccups became less popular. I never hear people hiccuping anymore. What’s going on there?

Trending via TikTok:

“It could be drugs,” I tell myself as I buy more books.

Shared recently on Slack:

Fun fact: The confetti you’ll see in Times Square tonight was made from one CVS receipt.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I’ve never seen anything sadder than me in a black cape under the salon lights with wet hair parted incorrectly by a solid inch.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I don’t need a psychic to tell me which planets make me sad. It’s earth.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Some parents are blessed with amazing kids and others have kids that decide to learn the trumpet.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Hate when people ask “why is it called Silence of the Lambs?” Like, did you hear any lambs during the movie? Use your head!

Making waves on Twitch:

I was walking near a construction site today and heard the foreman yell, “You’re doing a good job!” I know that was meant for me.

Seen just now on Slack:

I love Fleetwood Mac, but “thunder only happens when it’s raining” is just not true.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Striking gold in your 40s: finding a close parking spot that’s in the shade on a hot summer day.

Share Wordgag 🙏

© 2025. All fights retarded. 🤪

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴