I wasn’t sure why the doctor prescribed LSD for my constipation, until I saw a dragon and shit myself.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

Unless you’re dead wearing a sheet, you got no business ghosting people.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

You don’t need fun to have alcohol.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

Having to pee when you’re driving is problematic. Having to sneeze when you’re driving is even more problematic.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

Being strange is exhausting.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

I haven’t broken a mirror lately, but my water broke and I’ve had seven years of kids crawling into my bed.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

My coworkers think I’m always busy, but I’m really just trying to remember my password.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

Instead of writing letters, let’s wait a week before texting each other back so it still feels like it.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

Before I drink, I eat liver so the liquor won’t know which liver to attack.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

Having a job ruined my life.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

Geometry is a scam. What do you mean “prove it’s a triangle”? Just look at it.