Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

Like most people my age, I’m 50.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

My favorite childhood memory is having energy.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

The purpose of life is to go insane sooner or later.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

One day we will tell our grandkids how far we had to scroll to get to the recipe.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

If you want to make your mother proud, make her my mother-in-law.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

I am cutting contact with my 3-year-old narcissist nephew.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

I am dressing for the job I want. I want to be a sweatpants model.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

My workout goals are simple: I’d just like to be able to get up off the floor without looking like a turtle trying to flip itself back over.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

Bands are always like “here’s another song”. Yeah, no shit, that’s pretty much all you do.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

My hair dryer is so powerful that it doubles as my leaf blower.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

629 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,222

Funny Quotes Topics

17,352

Funny Quotes Images

15,222

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,677

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Gonna get my eye looked at today. Usually it’s the other way around.

Going viral on WeChat:

Let’s drink some whiskey and say too much.

Going viral on Slack:

I just heard someone refer to Texas as “Howdy Arabia” and I still haven’t stopped laughing.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

That awkward moment you can’t understand what somebody is saying after they have repeated it about five times.

Spotted on Twitch:

All the stops on the bus are pointless, except the one I’m getting off at.

Seen just now on Threads:

Break-up so bad, he blocked me on Pokémon Go.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Due to personal reasons, I’ll be using humor to hide pain.

Trending via Slack:

I love how we didn’t raise the minimum wage because it would make food more expensive, but then just made the food more expensive anyway.

Live now on WeChat:

I hate math, but I love counting money.

Shared recently on Messenger:

It’s quite ironic that “strap on,” backwards, spells “no parts.”

I wasn’t sure why the doctor prescribed LSD for my constipation, until I saw a dragon and shit myself.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Well, that's one way to make a mythical mess! 🐉💩😂"

bizarre, constipation, doctor, dragon, drug, drug experience, experience, hallucination, humor, i, LSD, myself, prescription, saw, shit, sure, surreal, unexpected, why

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

This can’t be the same body that used to be able to pull all nighters.

0

2 months ago

able, age, all nighter, body, change, exhaustion, humor, nighter, pull, same, sleep, used
The trick of life is to get the sports car before you have to grunt getting in and out of it.

0

2 months ago

aging, before, car, enjoyment, fun, getting, getting in, getting out, humor, life, priorities, sports, sports car, trick
Maybe I died of Covid in 2020, and this is hell.

0

4 weeks ago

2020, Covid, death, died, hell, humor, i, irony, maybe, pandemic
The date abruptly ended over a disagreement on how to pronounce Gnocchi.

0

2 months ago

awkward, awkward moment, conversation, date, dining, disagreement, food, gnocchi, humor, moment, over, pronounce, pronunciation, relationship
When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.

0

2 months ago

eye, humor, joke, lemon, life, prank, someone, squirt
They say half the battle of getting in shape is mental, so I thought about the gym really hard today.

0

1 month ago

battle, exercise, fitness, getting, getting in shape, gym, half, hard, humor, i, mental, mental battle, motivation, procrastination, say, shape, thought, today, workout

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

76 shares on Pinterest this month:

“Machines will soon be as smart as people.” Ok, but which people?

45 shares on Snapchat this month:

My ex said I had commitment issues but this giant jar of Nutella says otherwise.

30 shares on YouTube this month:

Boy, are you a piñata? Because I have an overwhelming urge to beat you with a stick.

12 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m sorry, but I already have an A.I. boyfriend.

25 shares on Threads this month:

Sorry, I laughed at your bad joke. I was trying to flirt.

35 shares on LinkedIn this month:

You have 8 hours remaining to create shareholder value.

50 shares on Twitch this month:

I may not be the smartest or most athletic man in the world. There’s no second part to this, keep scrolling.

42 shares on Twitch this month:

By the way, if you don’t buy anything on Black Friday, you can save up to 100%.

89 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Lie about the gap in your resume. Tell them you had to help some Hobbits take a ring to Mordor or something.

24 shares on Twitch this month:

Sure, my internet service is overpriced and spotty but you can’t put a price on unintentionally being dropped from every Zoom meeting.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

Getting emotional thinking about everything SpongeBob has been through and his resilience despite it all.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

A dinosaur as a pet would solve so many problems. Mainly, people problems.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

Everyone’s an empath until I need to borrow some cash.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

Holding back your sarcastic replies takes a lot of inner strength.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

Aliens are gonna be super confused when they show up threatening to overthrow our leaders and we’re all stoked and offer to help.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

Them: “Ugh, could you be more annoying?” Me: “Oh God, yes!”

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

Now that I have a standing desk, I’m adding manual labor to my resume.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

Getting paid 26 times in 365 days is not my destiny.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

A Tinder type app, but it matches you with sandwiches.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

I’ll be like “I’m fine” then shake my leg at 150 mph.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Discord:

Vote for me and I will halve the calories in chocolate.

Shared recently on Threads:

The difference between coffee and your opinion is that I asked for coffee.

Breaking via Slack:

Wearing shorts and my pale legs screamed at the sensation of sunlight like vampires.

Broadcasted on Threads:

My favorite thing to do when I see people I know in public is to pretend I didn’t.

Trending via Twitch:

Quitting my job to focus more on my desire not to work anymore.

Trending via Pinterest:

I told my wife to embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.

Seen just now on X:

I just want someone to miss me the way my 3 year old nephew misses me when I go to the washroom.

Freshly posted on X:

Her idea of a romantic setting is one that has a diamond in it.

Just shared via WeChat:

Nobody rots in bed like I do.

Breaking via Facebook:

It seems that after checking my bank account, I need to turn to a life of crime.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I wasn’t sure why the doctor prescribed LSD for my constipation, until I saw a dragon and shit myself.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

This can’t be the same body that used to be able to pull all nighters.

The trick of life is to get the sports car before you have to grunt getting in and out of it.

Maybe I died of Covid in 2020, and this is hell.

The date abruptly ended over a disagreement on how to pronounce Gnocchi.

When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.

They say half the battle of getting in shape is mental, so I thought about the gym really hard today.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨