Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

Her: how are you still single? Me: it’s easier than you think.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

You can reach me by butterfly.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

Love it when my brain is like, “You forgot something,” and then refuses to elaborate.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

I really understand why boomers text with ellipses between everything… it feels so good…

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

I just wanna buy $16 worth of a meme coin and sell it for $2.6M two weeks later.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

“You’re like cherry lip gloss. I just can’t get enough.”

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

Yes, liquor store clerk, I do need help. But I decided to come here instead.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

Twitter is diarrhea of the mouth at its finest. Everyone is just going around vomiting whatever is in their brains.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

Dear God, make me a bird so I can fly. Fly far, far away and also so I can poop on people.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

Imagine if spiders giggled when they ran away from us.

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Updated

Jan 20, 2026

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Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Facebook:

If alcohol damages your short-term memory, imagine what alcohol can do.

Trending via Slack:

Who needs a weighted blanket when you’ve got the weight of the world?

Trending via Reddit:

No matter how old you are, an empty Christmas wrapping tube is still a fun thing to bonk someone over the head with.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

That’s just brainslop. You only came up with that by thinking.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

When you’re dead, you don’t know that you’re dead. But it’s hard for those around you. It’s the same when you’re stupid.

Just shared via TikTok:

Just because you are unique, doesn’t mean you are useful.

Just shared via X:

I met the real Santa tonight, and he said you’re all in trouble.

Going viral on TikTok:

The word “misread” can be misread as “misread.”

Spotted on TikTok:

“Careful. It’s slippery!” – Everyone, after you’ve already slipped.

Just landed via WeChat:

The point of life is going to a good restaurant and getting two cocktails with dinner. That’s it.

I wasn’t sure why the doctor prescribed LSD for my constipation, until I saw a dragon and shit myself.

2 months ago

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"Well, that's one way to make a mythical mess! 🐉💩😂"

bizarre, constipation, doctor, dragon, drug, drug experience, experience, hallucination, humor, i, LSD, myself, prescription, saw, shit, sure, surreal, unexpected, why

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Social Media Stars ⭐

72 shares on X this month:

Customers will say shit like, “Uhh, it’s asking me to remove my card?”

45 shares on Twitch this month:

I got Botox, and I asked the doctor, “How many years younger will this make me look?” and he was like, “Zero. You’ll just look like the other girls your age who have also gotten Botox.”

100 shares on Instagram this month:

You can fake an American accent all you want, but “literally” will expose you.

62 shares on Twitch this month:

It’s not a Sunday unless you completely waste it and then feel sad around 8 p.m.

89 shares on Discord this month:

When the weather gets warmer, I will become unstoppable. As long as it doesn’t get too warm, then I will be stoppable.

13 shares on Snapchat this month:

I literally just went through something, and now I’m going through something else. What’s next?

36 shares on YouTube this month:

Whatever y’all heard about me, I’m way worse.

57 shares on Discord this month:

I’m an adult in the same way that Katy Perry is an astronaut.

86 shares on YouTube this month:

Why did they call it long distance running and not fardio?

65 shares on Reddit this month:

I am like a wildflower, a quiet rebellion blooming through ruins and dust.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

I think the world is ready for a fat James Bond.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

I drink all this water and for what. Just to pee? This planet is a prison.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

My favorite game is to guess if my headache is due to dehydration, migraine, malnutrition, stress, lack of sleep, poor position, or a brain tumor.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

How do I gracefully leave this party early but also take the queso dip with me?

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

I made coffee and carried it to the couch. I’ve done everything I had planned for this Sunday.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

Trying to bribe Monday with coffee to get it to act like a Friday.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

Throwing someone under the bus sounds hard, let’s just sell ’em down the river and call it a day.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

Why are fish the only thing you can monger? Let me monger some other stuff.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

A shark could swim faster than me, but I could probably run faster than a shark. So, in a triathlon, it would all come down to who is the better cyclist.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

As a kid, I was worried about randomly disappearing into the Bermuda Triangle forever. As an adult, I’m wondering how I can actually make that happen.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WeChat:

Welcome to your 50s… A new pain will be be assigned to you shortly.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Brussels sprouts were invented by big cabbage to sell little cabbages.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Instead of being constantly irritated by other people’s flaws, I’ve decided to become more self-absorbed.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

If you fall asleep long enough, the steering wheel gives you a pillow.

Just shared via Threads:

Smithereens is the worst way to get blown.

Trending via WeChat:

Walking around the art museum and verbally saying, “Banger,” after inspecting a painting.

Just shared via Reddit:

I asked Tom Hanks for his autograph, but all he wrote was thanks.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Facebook is like a never-ending high school reunion.

Live now on Facebook:

Nothing brings neighbors together like a few cops cars in front of another neighbor’s house that no one likes.

Just shared via Reddit:

Why does Bruce Wayne, the billionaire, not simply rig Gotham City’s elections in favor of tough-on-crime candidates?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I wasn’t sure why the doctor prescribed LSD for my constipation, until I saw a dragon and shit myself.

Headache pro-tip: Bang your toe into something.

I bought a little bag of air today. The company that made it was kind enough to put some potato chips in it as well.

I wish I loved anything as much as my two year old loves pulling my pants down.

I’m bad at being sad. Three minutes in, and I’m already making fun of my situation.

I worry a lot about the wild animals in my neighborhood, but I’m beginning to think they don’t worry about me.

This alien invasion could have been an email.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I wasn’t sure why the doctor prescribed LSD for my constipation, until I saw a dragon and shit myself.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Headache pro-tip: Bang your toe into something.

I bought a little bag of air today. The company that made it was kind enough to put some potato chips in it as well.

I wish I loved anything as much as my two year old loves pulling my pants down.

I’m bad at being sad. Three minutes in, and I’m already making fun of my situation.

I worry a lot about the wild animals in my neighborhood, but I’m beginning to think they don’t worry about me.

This alien invasion could have been an email.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨