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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

Rappers be making you feel guilty for no reason at all: “You was in the house eating dinner while I was in the streets hungry”. Like my fault, bro.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

Fuzzy socks on and ready for anything.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck, you’re drunk. Ducks don’t talk.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

I can’t believe I slept good all night. What a rush.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

Flat earth is too mainstream, hollow earth is where it’s at.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

I haven’t broken a mirror lately, but my water broke and I’ve had seven years of kids crawling into my bed.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

I march to the beat of my own dumb.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

This entire year has been the Nightmare Before Christmas.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

I don’t hate you, I just don’t want to see you alive.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

Today is a wonderful day to leave me alone.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

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17,766

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15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,664

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on TikTok:

Monetizing Twitter was actually the worst thing to happen to this app. Everybody rage-baiting for 23 cents.

Going bananas on YouTube:

I like how “energy bars” are really just candy bars, and we all pretend to not notice.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

I bet doom scroll meant something way cooler in the middle ages.

Breaking via TikTok:

Ending my thesis paper with “but who cares what I think?”

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Nothing brings neighbors together like a few cops cars in front of another neighbor’s house that no one likes.

Seen just now on Threads:

We should thank heaven for nipples. Without them boobs would be pointless.

Spotted on Threads:

I’m very strong, but not in a get a jar open kinda way.

Trending via Facebook:

I’m just a girl, standing in front of a Monday, asking it to be a Friday.

Spotted on WeChat:

Don’t suffer in silence. Make it everyone’s problem.

Spotted on Messenger:

I need to know the brand of toothbrush my neighbor has. I hear it buzzing sometimes an hour at a time and she’s clearly enjoying it.

If you accept a knighthood, you should have to participate in at least one jousting tournament a year. The tournaments should be televised.

5 days ago

Funny Quotes

Humorous quote about accepting knighthoods and televised jousting tournaments.

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Commentary:
Sir Lancelot better start training or risk becoming Sir Limpy on live TV! ⚔️📺😂

accept, entertainment, humor, jousting, jousting tournament, knighthood, least, medieval, should, sport, television, tournament, tradition, year

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Social Media Stars ⭐

15 shares on Instagram this month:

I hate when people say “It could be worse” because it could be better, too.

44 shares on Facebook this month:

They should invent a type of sleeping where you wake up feeling rested.

58 shares on Instagram this month:

Woke up and immediately broke my resolution to be less sexy this year.

73 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If someone asks you: ‘Why are you single, don’t you like people?’, answer: ‘Why aren’t you a millionaire, don’t you like money?’

13 shares on LinkedIn this month:

They should make the last foot of dental floss red so you know when you’re about to run out.

38 shares on Reddit this month:

Moms be like, “I needed this,” and it’s really just a break from being the one who holds it all together every single day.

49 shares on X this month:

Back to the Future and chill?

83 shares on Threads this month:

People are always saying “not today, Satan” but what if we just hear him out.

83 shares on X this month:

Watching Unsolved Mysteries and getting mad when they don’t solve the mystery at the end.

33 shares on TikTok this month:

Nobody at this train station knows that there’s a hole in my sock.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

My anti-theft device in my car is that it’s manual.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

Job hunting has legitimately been the most demoralizing experience of my life. Nothing else will make you realize how little you can actually do.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

Called in, “I put the lime in the coconut and drank it all up.”

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

My favorite part of leaving the house is looking forward to going home.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

Just accidentally closed a tab I’ve had been meaning to read for the past 2 years.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

It must be hard to be a rapper knowing at any moment your enemies may make beautiful poems about you.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

How many of you also constantly take screenshots of something and then never look at them again?

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

When someone asks me why I’m in a wheelchair, I want to say something ridiculous like, “I’m not standing up until I’ve saved a million.”

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

Gambling is all about getting something for nothing and spending thousands of dollars trying to do it.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

“I’m in a really good place right now, not mentally. I’m just indoors with air conditioning.”

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

This year has been the perfect blend of me losing my mind and having the time of my life.

Just shared via YouTube:

You can have kids or you can always know where your scissors are. You can’t have both.

Trending via Telegram:

Sorry for having no idea what the hell I am doing. It will happen again.

Trending via Instagram:

It’s difficult to play hard to get when I’m already hard to want.

Shared recently on Discord:

Finally my winter fat has gone. I now have spring rolls.

Just landed via Messenger:

I hate apps that shut off your music when you open them, like how fu*king important do you think you are?

Spotted on YouTube:

Seems like being an asshole is a full-time job for some.

Going viral on Threads:

If an ice cream truck has its music on, are you supposed to pull over and let it pass like an ambulance?

Seen just now on Telegram:

Once I get my UFO, don’t be asking me for rides.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

No matter how busy my Sunday gets, I always manage to set aside time to panic about Monday.

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Activity Log ✨

If you accept a knighthood, you should have to participate in at least one jousting tournament a year. The tournaments should be televised.

Teach a man to fish, and he will eat for a lifetime. Teach your kid about stingrays, and he will pretend to sting you all afternoon.

I’ve broken all my New Year’s Resolutions so now I’m moving on to laws of nature.

Rule number 1 at a concert: Don’t sing while filming!

Sex is cool but have you ever had your bed all to yourself.

It’s just a matter of time until they add “syndrome” after my name.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If you accept a knighthood, you should have to participate in at least one jousting tournament a year. The tournaments should be televised.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Teach a man to fish, and he will eat for a lifetime. Teach your kid about stingrays, and he will pretend to sting you all afternoon.

A simple “hi” can be the beginning of two years of therapy.

I’ve broken all my New Year’s Resolutions so now I’m moving on to laws of nature.

Rule number 1 at a concert: Don’t sing while filming!

Sex is cool but have you ever had your bed all to yourself.

It’s just a matter of time until they add “syndrome” after my name.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨