Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

There’s a fat man inside me dying to get out.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

Where did you come from, Where did you go, Where did you come from, Pokémon Go.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

“I’m currently not accepting new items on my to-do list.”

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

You know you’re getting old when you clean the house to the music you used to go out to.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

I always ask for a receipt so I can keep them in my purse for 86 years.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

To everyone who opens the fridge, stares, and closes it hoping new snacks will appear… You’re my people.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

Taking yesterday’s bad mood on a multi-day tour.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

Tomorrow isn’t promised, we need to flirt today.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

Almonds are a scam. They are wood. You are eating wood.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

Starting conversations with short people by saying “back when I was your height…”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,679

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

‘You’re going to die alone!’ Okay, when did dying become a group project?

Making waves on Threads:

Even at my most evil, I’m considerate.

Just landed via Slack:

I am not “quiet quitting”, I am suffering from third-degree burnout.

Just shared via Telegram:

So we have actual fact checkers who know all the facts? Why not create a TV channel where they just give us the facts? We could call it the News.

Trending via Pinterest:

People will make you sad but cheese will always make you happy. The choice is simple.

Seen just now on Slack:

Daffodil totally sounds like an insult, you blooming daffodil.

Making waves on TikTok:

Googled my symptoms and it turns out it’s just the politics.

Going viral on Discord:

A political guy who supports communism because he hates applying for jobs and just wants to be assigned somewhere.

Breaking via Twitch:

Just once I wanna slide down a dinosaur at the end of my workday, is that too much to ask for?

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I was actually about to do a workout when the couch threw itself protectively under me.

If you ever need nothing, I’m here for you.

Witty quote about offering support with a humorous twist on needing nothing.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the kind offer of providing absolutely nothing when you need it the most! 🤣 Just remember, I excel in the art of doing nothing, so count on me for no help at all! 😉 #HelpfulByBeingUseless

, , , , , , , ,

Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

96 shares on X this month:

Good morning to everyone except the people who are missing the ability to read the room.

62 shares on Slack this month:

My bed has a stronger influence on me than my ambitions.

30 shares on Snapchat this month:

Not having to bring my backpack to the last day of elementary school was the last time I truly felt free.

87 shares on TikTok this month:

Rather than work on my issues, I’m counting on my personality getting changed by a falling coconut.

72 shares on Reddit this month:

Having long hair as a guy is so scary because some days I look like the charming lead of a classic film from the 80s, and other days I look like a Discord mod that runs his Magic: The Gathering group like the Navy.

43 shares on WeChat this month:

I only have one wish in life… For all my dreams to come true.

91 shares on Pinterest this month:

Everyone gives pleasure in some way, one when they enter a room, the other when they leave it.

22 shares on Facebook this month:

Me rereading his texts after we’ve already said goodnight just so I can giggle and blush all over again.

69 shares on YouTube this month:

She’s a 10, but she says ‘Orwellian’ when it’s clearly ‘Kafkaesque”.

22 shares on X this month:

Therapy isn’t enough. I need a new identity and a passport.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

My Mom asks why everything is on the floor, like she never heard of gravity.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

They were called “TV programs” because they were literally programming us, bro.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Apart from “It’s okay”, what other death threats do women use?

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Go ahead. Order anything you want. Money is no object when we dine at IKEA.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I love canceling plans. I didn’t want to go in the first place. I just wanted to be invited.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t have a nervous system, I am a nervous system.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Professor: Most of you won’t pass this course. Me: Cool, so you’re like, real shitty at your job.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Every time I blink, it’s Monday again. I can’t live like this.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry to any bands who see me yawn during their show. It’s not you, it’s just past 10pm.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Apparently, when you treat someone the same way they treat you, they get offended!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,368

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

People don’t hate working, they hate working and still being poor.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

If you think someone has put a spell on you, send me $500 and I’ll get rid of it.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

If you knock down a policeman, they’ll get backup.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

If I had a tiny girlfriend, I would love to throw her across gaps so she can pull levers and open doors that get me to her part of the level.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

A spiral is just a circle that’s afraid of closure.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

It’s the weekend, so naturally, I’m going to spend 48 hours doing nothing, and still be exhausted.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

Her idea of a romantic setting is one that has a diamond in it.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

I want a man to love me so bad his entire family thinks I did witchcraft on him.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

Scrolling to your birth year is a humiliation ritual.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

Asking for a donation like Wikipedia every time someone asks me a question.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

I just want someone who can see through all my bullshit and hate me for who I really am.

Live now on Instagram:

I have everything you could possibly ever need in my purse, except for money.

Live now on Twitch:

I need you to think about me 23/7. You get 1 hour a day for yourself.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Oh no, a login from a new device? And that device is my phone? The one that I use every single day? And the location is my house, you say? Thank you so much for warning me. I will contact Interpol.

Making waves on X:

That awkward moment your mom is doing the dishes and you slowly put your dish in the sink.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

It’s been too long since I partook in shenanigans.

Just landed via Discord:

I started my diet 2 hours ago, I’m glad that’s over.

Breaking via WeChat:

How you conduct yourself when using plastic wrap is the real you.

Trending via Messenger:

I got a raise! On my meds dosage. But still.

Spotted on WeChat:

“You let your cat on the bed?” I would put her on my life insurance.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴