Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

Much of my algorithm is based on when I paused while scrolling to grab a snack.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

“You’re always sleeping!” God forbid a girl wants to be unconscious.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

My pronouns are she/her and my adjectives are problematic/overwhelmed.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

To-do list: bite the hand that feeds me, put all my eggs in one basket, kill two birds with one stone, let the cat out of the bag, think inside the box, burn bridges, walk on thin ice, play with fire.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

If only vehicles could be equipped with little blinky lights on the corners to alert other drivers the direction they wished to turn.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

So. Fed the laundry and washed the cat. Showered the garbage and disposed of myself. Was there anything else?

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

Getting the ick because he put the windshield wipers on at a higher rate than was needed.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

According to a study, people believe anything that starts with ‘according to a study’.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

If I could be in two places at once, I’d be in bed twice.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

Cleaning the kitchen, but saw the laundry, so I watered a plant, and now I’m making a dentist appointment.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,598

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

My parents think they know me.

Making waves on Facebook:

A bad relationship can ruin a good song.

Going viral on Reddit:

Gonna toot my own horn here because I made it through another day without turning any of my feelings into felonies.

Shared recently on Threads:

In terms of wasting time, today was very productive.

Just landed via Instagram:

Every year, just in time for Christmas, when it’s freezing cold, the Coca Cola truck shows up. Now, in this freaking heat, it’s nowhere to be seen.

Trending via Pinterest:

An adult is a person who makes noise when they stand up.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Christmas can be really hard for single people. Everyone else is having a brilliant time and we have to hide the fact that every day is like that for us.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

I can’t believe that it’s our turn to give money to our nephews and nieces.

Shared recently on WeChat:

If social media has taught me anything, it’s that we are all crazy in a different way.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

We can’t both age regress at the same time — someone’s gonna have to push me on the swingset.

I’m not “dating to marry” or “dating for fun.” I’m dating for a secret third reason.

2 months ago

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Commentary:
Oh, I get it! You're secretly assembling an Avengers team but with just dates. 🍕🕵️‍♀️💥

dating, fun, humor, marriage, marry, reason, relationship, secret, secret reason, third

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Kissing while both wearing baseball caps is so hard. How do baseball players do it?

0

2 months ago

activity, baseball, baseball cap, baseball player, both, cap, challenge, dating, funny activity, hard, headwear, humor, kissing, player, players, sports, while
Welcome to middle age, where you wake up hungover whether you’ve had a drink or not.

0

2 months ago

age, drink, humor, hungover, life, middle, middle age, reality, wake, wake up, welcome, where
Being strange is exhausting.

0

2 months ago

being, exhausting, humor, individuality, personality, self-perception, strange, uniqueness
Some call it flirting… I call it just being extra nice to someone who is extra attractive…

0

2 months ago

attraction, attractive, being, call, charm, dating, extra, flirting, humor, i, just, nice, playfulness, someone
Job applications are so stupid. “What’s your desired salary?” Ten billion dollars. Next question.

0

2 months ago

application, billion, dollars, exaggeration, humor, interview, job, job application, money, negotiation, next, question, salary, stupid, ten
I bring a very “are you going to eat your pickle” vibe to lunch meetings.

0

2 months ago

bring, eat, food, fun, going, humor, i, lunch, meeting, meetings, pickle, vibe, workplace

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

22 shares on Messenger this month:

I hate when I finish a show and don’t know what to do with my life.

74 shares on Telegram this month:

They should send the Epstein list to everyone’s phones like that U2 album.

93 shares on Pinterest this month:

Before marriage, I would sit at a stoplight for hours because I had no one to tell me the light had changed to green.

67 shares on Pinterest this month:

I modeled my morning routine on the humble rooster. Wake up, scream, wander around.

44 shares on Threads this month:

They are mad because you took that knife out of your back and used it to cut ties.

16 shares on YouTube this month:

34 shares on Snapchat this month:

Can’t stand British posts on my timeline. “I bought this for four squids and a halfpenny!” What the hell are you talking about?

94 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Just saying “Think about it!” is enough to overwhelm many people these days.

75 shares on Facebook this month:

Oh, sorry, I can’t right now. I’m imagining some things and worrying about them.

15 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My five-year plan is to just see what happens.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

Babe, you’re not acting according to my delusions right now.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

According to the BMI chart, I am too short.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

It’s quite ironic that “strap on,” backwards, spells “no parts.”

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

Whoever has designed parking garages is either an architectural genius or an evil sadist.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

Teens don’t know how good they have it with lyrics sites. We used to have to sing shit wrong for years until the truth destroyed us.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

This year for Thanksgiving, I’ll probably bring what I brought last year… shame upon the family.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

The subtle art of surviving this life with grace and dignity.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

Too many types of pasta. I can say my fav is Fliccaroni and not one of you can be sure if it’s real. Look at you googling it.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

Girls be like “forget it, I’m fine” then set your house on fire.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

I thought I had more straws. Sorry, turns out that was the last one.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Once you understand why pizza is made round, packed in square boxes, and eaten as a triangle, then you will understand women.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

You never realize how many curse words are in a song till you play it for your family.

Seen just now on Reddit:

If you can’t laugh at yourself, I will.

Just shared via YouTube:

It’s amazing how music can transport you to another place. For example, this coffee shop is playing Justin Bieber, so I’m going to another restaurant.

Spotted on Instagram:

“Are you sexually active?” Dude, I’m not even socially active.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Controlling your emotions while on your period is an extreme sport.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Do people still actually eat 3 meals a day, or do we all just survive off of stress and iced coffee?

Live now on Snapchat:

If a company’s hiring sign says, “Come grow with us,” you’re about to do the work of 3-5 people.

Going viral on Messenger:

I’m not sure what everyone at my coworking space does for work, but I’m pretty sure one guy’s job is chewing.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

My goal was to look good in a bikini this summer, but the call of the barbecue is stronger.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m not “dating to marry” or “dating for fun.” I’m dating for a secret third reason.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Kissing while both wearing baseball caps is so hard. How do baseball players do it?

Welcome to middle age, where you wake up hungover whether you’ve had a drink or not.

Being strange is exhausting.

Some call it flirting… I call it just being extra nice to someone who is extra attractive…

Job applications are so stupid. “What’s your desired salary?” Ten billion dollars. Next question.

I bring a very “are you going to eat your pickle” vibe to lunch meetings.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨