Wordgag 🎅

Commentary:
"Apparently, my coffee can't function without my supervision. ☕️😂 Who knew I had such an essential role in the world of caffeine? #CoffeeAddict"

awake, caffeine, coffee, humor, morning, motivation, need

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

‘You’re going to die alone!’ Okay, when did dying become a group project?

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2 months ago

alone, die, dying, existential, going, group, humor, life, okay, project
The only squat I’m even considering doing today is diddly.

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2 months ago

activity, diddly, doing, even, exercise, fitness, humor, laziness, only, squat, today
I miss you (the money I spent).

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2 months ago

financial, financial joke, humor, i, joke, longing, miss, money, spending, spent
You cannot hurt me. You are not a hip-height table corner.

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2 months ago

corner, hip-height, humor, hurt, injury, me, sarcasm, table, wit
The delivery guy absolutely hates it when I call him my pizza mule.

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2 months ago

absolutely, call, delivery, food, guy, humor, i, joke, joke about delivery person, mule, person, pizza, pizza delivery, playful
I hope your spoon slides into your soup.

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2 months ago

food, hope, humor, i, kitchen, soup, spoon, wish

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

100 shares on Pinterest this month:

It’s important to get out of the house every once and a while to remind yourself of why you don’t go out.

26 shares on Reddit this month:

Diarrhea awareness week starts today. Runs through Sunday.

89 shares on Messenger this month:

I need a Netflix show called: “Background noise while you scroll on your phone.”

59 shares on X this month:

The gym gives you energy, but you need energy to get to the gym. Feels like a pyramid scheme, if you ask me.

99 shares on Discord this month:

Girls actually do love nice guys. It’s just that you’re not as nice a guy as you think you are…

47 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m not fat. I’m just easy to see.

41 shares on Reddit this month:

Disney set unrealistic standards of how often woodland creatures would help me clean and do laundry if I just sang out my window.

16 shares on Pinterest this month:

In other news, congrats to my therapist for securing a 4 year contract with me.

12 shares on Slack this month:

They should invent going outside without people looking at you.

74 shares on X this month:

So basically, companies pay YouTube to show ads, and we pay YouTube to not show ads.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

Gonna toot my own horn here because I made it through another day without turning any of my feelings into felonies.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

What was the name of the boat in Titanic?

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

The days will soon be shorter again. Then it won’t rain for so long.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

OnlyFans, but it’s elderly women teaching you how to sew, knit, can food, quilt, and some solid recipes. OnlyGrans.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

My ideal vacation would be to drop my family off at the airport and then have a week of peace and quiet.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

Whispering to paramedic before I pass out: save me, but not enough that I have to go to work tomorrow.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

Whoever came up with “penny for your thoughts,” “don’t nickel and dime me,” and “another day another dollar” sure knew how to coin a phrase.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

At my size, I’d be called Buffet the Vampire Slayer.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

It really is Monday every 15 minutes.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

Kids be like: “Nice bathroom mirror. It would be a shame if I spat toothpaste all over it.”

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Messenger:

They say you should dress for the job you want then send you home as “the stormtrooper suit is not appropriate work attire”.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Never trust someone who can eat 24/7 but is still skinny.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Super excited about a brand new week of faking it.

Just shared via Facebook:

I will never understand people who don’t gasp dramatically at rainbows.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Body: time to fall asleep. Brain: hey, that’s an interesting thought, here’s six billion more.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Walmart was wild as hell today, so I fit right in.

Spotted on TikTok:

Fitbits are just Tamagotchis, except the stupid animal you’re trying to keep alive is you.

Making waves on WeChat:

Just because I’m up sharing posts at 7 a.m. doesn’t mean I’m up. Don’t call my phone.

Breaking via Twitch:

The eyes are the windows to the soul. A mustache is the front garden, and the mouth is that big pothole the council should do something about.

Going viral on Facebook:

I would just once like to feel as powerful as a toddler throwing their sippy cup whilst sitting atop their high chair.

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

I’m only awake because my coffee needs me.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

‘You’re going to die alone!’ Okay, when did dying become a group project?

The only squat I’m even considering doing today is diddly.

I miss you (the money I spent).

You cannot hurt me. You are not a hip-height table corner.

The delivery guy absolutely hates it when I call him my pizza mule.

I hope your spoon slides into your soup.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨