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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

Our neighbor complained that our cat is always running through his garden. My father said: “Okay, I’ll tell her.”

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

Best time to reach me is when I’m at work. Don’t bother me when I’m at home.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

Always be kind. You never know who might own a jacuzzi.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

If you eat well and exercise, you’ll die fit.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

Everyone wants a goth girlfriend until she starts doing goth things.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

My New Year’s resolution will be to stop chasing waterfalls, and stick to the rivers and the lakes that I’m used to.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

Why does everyone force introverts to leave their comfort zone, but no one forces extroverts to shut up for a while?

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

I’m a yapper. I’m a napper. I’m a midnight snacker.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

Your secret is safe with me and my sister.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

I think the real reason this generation is so angry is that their music sucks.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,710

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Slack:

Automated phone system: To speak to a representative, please enter the last twelve digits of Pi.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

What do you mean it’s Monday? We just had Monday. This can’t be right.

Just landed via TikTok:

I often got called “an old soul” and such like by adults when I was a child. I think this was a kind way of saying I was a sad little freak.

Making waves on Messenger:

She was rare, like a shopping cart at the grocery without a wobbly wheel.

Going viral on Messenger:

Me, seeing a man proposing to a woman in public: Hey, this guy bothering you?

Broadcasted on Discord:

If you wave your keys in front of a giant house, people will think you own it.

Shared recently on X:

Why would I take the high road when I could take the psychopath?

Making waves on Telegram:

God created childbirth so women could know how men feel when we have a cold.

Spotted on Reddit:

I take issue with furniture that deliberately moves 1 inch when you’re in a rush to get by.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

By the time he entered rehab, Popeye was more spinach than sailor man.

I’m so jealous of people who know how to shut up. I shut up, and subtitles come out my face.

7 days ago

Funny Quotes

Humorous text about struggling to stay silent, with subtitles humorously spilling out.

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Commentary:
Sounds like you’ve got a built-in commentary feature! 😂🤐🎬

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If love is the answer then what was the question?

2 weeks ago

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I enjoy driving because it combines my desire to sit with my talent for being angry.

2 weeks ago

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Why is 4-8 p.m. on a Sunday the most depressing time ever?

3 weeks ago

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Let’s build a fort with blankets and pillows, and just stay in it all day.

1 week ago

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So we have actual fact checkers who know all the facts? Why not create a TV channel where they just give us the facts? We could call it the News.

1 week ago

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Maybe making another financially irresponsible decision will fix me.

3 weeks ago

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Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

65 shares on Reddit this month:

Release that sexual frustration, get a burger.

22 shares on Facebook this month:

Fun fact: the creator of Barbie and the creator of Hot Wheels were husband and wife.

89 shares on Reddit this month:

Took my car to the mechanic because it was making a terrible noise. He removed the Mariah Carey Christmas CD, and now it’s fine.

11 shares on Discord this month:

Nothing gets my heart pumping like receiving an annoying newsletter.

26 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m not going to die because of an accident. Nor because of an illness. But from small talk. Someone will say one boring sentence too many and I’ll drop dead.

89 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Made it to Friday, but at what cost? Monday is literally in 20 minutes.

34 shares on WeChat this month:

No more ragebaiting around me, please. Let’s try joybaiting, perhaps even lovebaiting.

68 shares on Threads this month:

Most of your problems emanate from assuming that you are intelligent. Ease into your stupidity, and be free.

61 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’ve had two glasses of wine and responded with “Omgggg congrats, sweet girl” on an engagement post of someone I haven’t spoken to in 5 years.

95 shares on Reddit this month:

I want to be the kind of person who eats half a grapefruit for breakfast and runs every morning, but I also want to be happy.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

On the one hand, I’d love to look sexy in a bikini. On the other hand, there’s cake.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

Just rolled a joint. Not to get high or anything. It was just my ankle.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

My life started becoming a mess when I was put in charge of my own bedtime.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

There should be a true crime story about feeding someone a peanut butter sandwich and giving them nothing to drink.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

An internship is only unpaid if you don’t steal enough.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

Me watching any modern ad: How is this ad an ad for the thing it’s an ad for?

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

There is still plenty of room in my heart, but the bouncer has become a little stricter in recent years.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

Forget hot girl summer, it’s rot girl summer (laying in bed, reading books, laying under layers of soft blankets).

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

Porn looks so funny when you’re not horny.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

For the amount of meat you get out of clam, I feel like we could just leave them alone.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Even at my most powerful, I’m still a little sleepy.

Making waves on Messenger:

How do I un-know people?

Spotted on TikTok:

Welcome to your fifties. Saturday Night Fever now means lots of rest, cold medicine, and chicken noodle soup.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Some people are living proof that brain failure does not immediately lead to death.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I shaved my legs today and it was the fastest 3lbs I’ve ever lost in my life.

Spotted on X:

Are you telling me these billionaires don’t have my best interests at heart?!

Going bananas on Messenger:

If a demon ever possessed me, I’d just sit back and say, “Your problem now.”

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Why do fruit flies be everywhere but at the supermarket? Ain’t that like their Golden Corral?

Just shared via Pinterest:

If Pokémon were real, state fairs would serve them deep fried on a stick.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m so jealous of people who know how to shut up. I shut up, and subtitles come out my face.

Keep the laugh going 😂

If love is the answer then what was the question?

I enjoy driving because it combines my desire to sit with my talent for being angry.

Why is 4-8 p.m. on a Sunday the most depressing time ever?

Let’s build a fort with blankets and pillows, and just stay in it all day.

So we have actual fact checkers who know all the facts? Why not create a TV channel where they just give us the facts? We could call it the News.

Maybe making another financially irresponsible decision will fix me.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨