Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Oops, my bad! Note to self: biting is not an approved flirting technique. 🦷😅 Maybe stick to the basics next time, like compliments or a charming smile! 😉"

apology, awkward, awkward moment, bite, flirt, funny interaction, humor, i, interaction, moment, relationship, sorry, trying

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

You can eat cheesecake for breakfast if you want to. No one can stop you. The police can’t even stop you.

0

2 months ago

breakfast, cheesecake, choice, eat, even, food, freedom, humor, indulgence, police, stop, want
Driving home, listening to Gangsta’s Paradise, with my hands at 10 and 2.

0

5 months ago

2, car, driving, gangsta’s, Gangsta’s Paradise, hand, hand position, hands, home, humor, listening, music, nostalgia, paradise, position, road, road safety, safety, song
Winnie the Pooh had the right idea in this goddam heat. Crop top with his honey pot facing the world.

0

2 months ago

clothing, crop, crop top, heat, honey, honey pot, humor, idea, pooh, pot, right, summer, top, winnie, Winnie the Pooh, world
We argue about where to go for dinner for so long, it eventually becomes an argument on where to go for breakfast.

0

2 months ago

argue, argument, breakfast, choice, decision, dinner, food, meal, relationship, where
If your wife uses “I” it means she will be doing something. “We” means you will be.

0

2 months ago

communication, doing, humor, i, marriage, relationship, wife
The shrooms told me that we need to get our shit together. That humanity is a bundle of bad habits. I’m headed back in a few weeks, and they need a response from us. What do I tell them?

0

2 months ago

back, bad, bad habit, bundle, communication, habit, habits, humanity, humor, i, me, message, mushroom, need, psychedelic, response, self-improvement, shit, tell, together, told, us, weeks

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

62 shares on Snapchat this month:

As a teen: secretly drinking in the park with friends. As an adult: secretly drinking in the park with squirrels.

18 shares on Discord this month:

I don’t need to learn something new, I need to remember something old, like why did I come into this room?

83 shares on Facebook this month:

Girl, you gotta try this healing potion. It’s called beer.

24 shares on X this month:

My age no longer permits me to suffer for love, so if you see me sad, it’s due to lack of money.

59 shares on Messenger this month:

You know you’re getting old when you have to watch shows that are in English with subtitles.

88 shares on Instagram this month:

Picking up women at the bar and then gently setting them down.

37 shares on Facebook this month:

I hate when my cat runs into my bedroom and hisses at an empty chair, then runs back out again; and I then have to fall asleep holding a crucifix.

80 shares on Telegram this month:

“I’m disgusted by how many of you still use Spotify. I use a fair trade, ethically conscientious mom-and-pop platform called Apple Music.”

34 shares on Telegram this month:

I have more photos of food on my phone than I do of my children.

89 shares on WeChat this month:

You are not in a situationship. You are texting a man who doesn’t like you.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

Had the bed all to myself last night, so you know what that means… I slept in a slightly different spot, and now my neck feels weird.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

I mostly keep friendships going because they have my good Tupperware.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

Everyone on the bus thinks that they are the main character, when in reality the main character is the bus.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

AI is trained on what we write, so if we want to save our jobs we should all write really badly for a while. I’ve been doing my bit for years.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

The sexual tension when everyone arrives at a 4-way stop at the same time.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

I think Cinderella should have lived a happy life with all her animal friends rather than settle for a man who had her try on a shoe because he didn’t recognize her without makeup.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

Sorry, I can’t come. I’m still recovering from the last time I went out.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

The art of staying somewhat sane in an insane world.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

Did you know on the Canary Islands there is not one canary? And on the Virgin Isles? Same thing – not one canary there either!

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

“You’re a psychopath!” At least I’m on a path, babe, sort your life out.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Snapchat:

I hate when I have dreams about work. I’m not getting paid to interact with these people on my time off!

Breaking via Instagram:

I’m not drinking 2% milk until we figure out what the other 98% is.

Shared recently on Threads:

Guys have good pics on their dating profiles because their ex took them.

Just landed via Telegram:

Men make money to be with a woman, but women make money to not have to be with a man. Clock it!

Making waves on Pinterest:

For this Halloween I’ve trained my eyebrows to leap off my face and destroy those who’ve angered me.

Spotted on Slack:

Wiping my hands on my pants before I’m shaking someone’s hand, so they spend the rest of the day wondering what I just touched.

Making waves on Twitch:

Clothes too dirty for the closet, but too clean for laundry. Welcome to: the chair.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Sometimes after sex, I wonder what it would be like to have sex as a couple.

Making waves on X:

Eight times a day, I ask myself which object in the office will hurt me enough so that I can go home, but at the same time won’t hurt too much.

Spotted on Telegram:

Wild how we don’t get a public holiday for Wrestlemania, but okay.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m sorry that I bit you, I was trying to flirt.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

You can eat cheesecake for breakfast if you want to. No one can stop you. The police can’t even stop you.

Driving home, listening to Gangsta’s Paradise, with my hands at 10 and 2.

Winnie the Pooh had the right idea in this goddam heat. Crop top with his honey pot facing the world.

We argue about where to go for dinner for so long, it eventually becomes an argument on where to go for breakfast.

If your wife uses “I” it means she will be doing something. “We” means you will be.

The shrooms told me that we need to get our shit together. That humanity is a bundle of bad habits. I’m headed back in a few weeks, and they need a response from us. What do I tell them?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨