Wordgag 🎅

Commentary:
"Oops, my bad! Note to self: biting is not an approved flirting technique. 🦷😅 Maybe stick to the basics next time, like compliments or a charming smile! 😉"

apology, awkward, awkward moment, bite, flirt, funny interaction, humor, i, interaction, moment, relationship, sorry, trying

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I was going to cause mischief tonight, but I climbed into my bed instead.

0

5 months ago

bed, bedtime, cause, going, humor, i, laziness, mischief, night, procrastination, tonight
Nobody ever talks about how Sodom and Gomorrah were walkable cities.

0

2 months ago

architecture, city, ever, Gomorrah, history, humor, irony, nobody, planning, Sodom, urban, urban planning, walkable
Nobody watches you harder than people who don’t like you, so give them a show they will never forget.

0

1 month ago

attention, attitude, confidence, entertainment, forget, give, harder, humor, motivation, never, nobody, observation, people, rivalry, sarcasm, show
I thrive in a waiting room. You need me to sit in a chair and look at my phone? No worries, love, I do this at home.

0

1 month ago

chair, home, humor, i, love, me, multitask, need, phone, relax, room, sit, thrive, waiting, waiting room
Half the world is mentally ill. The other half is to blame.

0

2 months ago

blame, half, humor, illness, irony, mental, mental illness, mentally, perspective, world
You can tell a lot about a person by breaking into their home and going through their belongings.

0

1 month ago

belongings, breaking, breaking in, going, home, humor, invasion, lot, observation, person, tell

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

62 shares on Slack this month:

I actually do check to see if you told me happy birthday before I tell you.

20 shares on Snapchat this month:

The difference between a songbird and a hummingbird is that one of them knows the lyrics.

57 shares on WeChat this month:

What, and I cannot stress this enough, day is it.

81 shares on Discord this month:

I have a sundress and no man to bend me over in it, sad day.

73 shares on Slack this month:

Calm yourself, Lucifer. You did the right thing coming to me for advice.

53 shares on Messenger this month:

Pharaohs were buried with their hands crossed over their chest because of the belief there would be countless water slides in the after life.

24 shares on Threads this month:

Tailgating me while I’m going 90 in a 45 is crazy. And those red and blue lights on top of your car look stupid, btw, lol.

44 shares on Discord this month:

At this point, I’m rooting for the aliens.

15 shares on YouTube this month:

Nothing says, “I love you,” like an echo chamber.

15 shares on Facebook this month:

“You’re a psychopath!” At least I’m on a path, babe, sort your life out.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

I only squeak when I’m squoken to.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

I’m tired of commercials trying to be funny. Scare me into buying something. I want to be terrified of buying the wrong toothpaste.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

The holidays may be over by my work ethic is still out of the office.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

My love language is deader than Latin.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

I hate starting new relationships. I gotta act like I ain’t crazy for two months.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

My problem is I always think I can get ready in 15 minutes when I have repeatedly proven that I can’t.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

I’m not crazy, I’m just mentally spicy.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

Is ice cream for dinner a thing, because ice cream for dinner should be be a thing.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

I have a date and nothing to wear. Or as Nietzsche said: If you stare into a closet long enough, the closet stares back at you.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

Oh, I have Christmas spirit. The question is: Do I mix it with coke or do I drink it neat?

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on LinkedIn:

I was having a great day, and then, people.

Just landed via Threads:

It’s crazy windy today. Trash is blowing everywhere, so watch out for your ex.

Making waves on Pinterest:

They need to invent a dishwasher with a window on it. I have to know what goes on in there.

Trending via Discord:

Who called it a shopaholic and not a boughtanist?

Broadcasted on Discord:

If you were the birthday gift I bought my wife some months ago, where would you be hiding?

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Hey kid, wanna hear a scary story? One day, you will be able to do whatever you want, and you will choose to stay home alone.

Just landed via Messenger:

“I’m like Sisyphus but with dishes. Dishyphus.”

Going viral on Telegram:

I had to treat myself to a sweet goody today to distract my mind from the horrors of life.

Seen just now on Twitch:

When I’m not posting or returning messages, just know that I’m probably out doing superhero shit.

Spotted on Reddit:

Yes, I am super annoying, but don’t worry, it’s just permanent.

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

I’m sorry that I bit you, I was trying to flirt.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I was going to cause mischief tonight, but I climbed into my bed instead.

Nobody ever talks about how Sodom and Gomorrah were walkable cities.

Nobody watches you harder than people who don’t like you, so give them a show they will never forget.

I thrive in a waiting room. You need me to sit in a chair and look at my phone? No worries, love, I do this at home.

Half the world is mentally ill. The other half is to blame.

You can tell a lot about a person by breaking into their home and going through their belongings.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨