Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

Sorry about my behavior as of late. I have plastic in my brain.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

Alexa, tell Roomba to get the spider.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

“You’re so chill.” Thanks, I gave up.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

The thumbs up emoji is a nice way to tell someone not only did you receive their message, you’re also done with the conversation.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

Socialism is like polio, it comes back when people forget about the horrible damage it did last time.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

I got a raise! On my meds dosage. But still.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

Controlling your emotions while on your period is an extreme sport.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

Telling your parents about your problems is like adding another problem to your life.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

I don’t want to stand, Apple Watch. You stand.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

No Botox. I need to furrow my brow when people say dumb things.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,709

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Slack:

Never going into a job interview nervous again, because, wow, it is literally a free invitation to talk about how amazing I am.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

A little 9-5 with a little fraud on the side is the only way you gone survive in this world.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I set my alarms extra early to make sure I have enough time to lay in bed and be angry about having to wake up.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

So you mean to tell me a stress ball isn’t for throwing at people who stress you out?

Spotted on WhatsApp:

It’s amazing how so many people can rave about Star Wars or Star Trek and at the same time make sure that the only realistic future prospect is Mad Max.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Putting together a piece of furniture today, so my kids are about to learn swear words that haven’t even been invented yet.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Why would I work from home when I don’t even work from work?

Shared recently on Discord:

Really wanted to be a therapist until I read some of your guys’ posts and problems, and I want nothing to do with that mess.

Seen just now on Slack:

I’ve just filed a restraining order against reality.

Live now on Messenger:

Dear algo, please only show this post to benevolent aliens.

It’s weird how horses can run so fast but still suck at every other sport.

Playful quote highlighting horses' speed but lack of athletic versatility.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Looks like horses didn't get the memo about being all-round athletes. 🐎🏃‍♂️ Maybe they should stick to what they know best and leave the basketballs and tennis rackets to someone else! 🏀🎾"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

45 shares on Reddit this month:

My kids are smart but sometimes they say dumb stuff like, “Mom, why do you always buy Snickers when you’re the only one who likes them?”

99 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I can’t believe I forgot to go to the gym today. That’s like 7 years in a row now.

32 shares on Twitch this month:

Used dark mode so much that I became physically repulsed when I see a white screen.

59 shares on Threads this month:

My cat runs a secret cult. I just pay the rent.

56 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The most refreshing way to fight your personal demons is to make demonade.

50 shares on Discord this month:

You can just make up words and if you say them in a Scottish accent, people will think they’re real: Looka the wee janglers on that tary bibbit.

43 shares on Messenger this month:

Why do you assume it’s invalid to “make stuff up” during an argument? It shows initiative and creativity.

42 shares on Discord this month:

The real morning people are the ones that wake up to call radio stations.

34 shares on Twitch this month:

Skinning your knee as an adult is so humiliating. That’s the toddler injury.

40 shares on Discord this month:

Made it to Friday, but at what cost? Monday is literally in 20 minutes.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Winnie the Pooh had the right idea in this goddam heat. Crop top with his honey pot facing the world.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Starting the second half of your sandwich is like “hell yeah, baby, let’s run it back!”

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Cleaning a house with children in it is like shoveling snow on the North Pole.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Just pulled a Werther’s Original out of my pocket, like I’m 87 years old.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Why go to the art museum when I can just stare at you?

6 folks are currently checking 👀

When I tell my kids I’ll do something in a minute, what I’m really saying is “Please forget.”

6 folks are currently checking 👀

On the internet it’s super easy to take credit for stuff you had nothing to do with. That’s why I invented it.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

No, I mean, it’s great toast. I just didn’t expect it to be French.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Having to pee when you’re driving is problematic. Having to sneeze when you’re driving is even more problematic.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

The world is in chaos, confess to your crush!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,376

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

Enjoy your time with me, because I love to disappear.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

Dating profiles should make you share a sound bite of you sneezing.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

Don’t ever forget where you came from. That’s where you left your car.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

I need a break from me.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

Never get in between a girl and her fries. It’s just common sense really.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

I was actually about to do a workout when the couch threw itself protectively under me.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

I woke up alive again.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

Anyone know how to create an Outlook rule that sends every email to junk, deletes it, blocks the sender, and sets my laptop on fire?

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

My most boomer complaint is that nobody knows how to bring an item out of courtesy to parties anymore.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

Why procrastinate now when you can always procrastinate later?

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I find that age is just a number, and the older you get, the number you get.

Breaking via Discord:

A little mischievousness is good for the soul.

Seen just now on Threads:

I’m doing well at accomplishing nothing today and I’m very proud of myself.

Shared recently on Telegram:

If it’s a ghost ship, why does it have to be on water?

Trending via Telegram:

I love cute tiny purses, but I’m sad to say I can never be a cute tiny purse girl. I need to haul my hoard of objects everywhere I go, because what if….

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Taking the day off to brush up on conspiracy theories and really get this Thanksgiving party started.

Shared recently on Instagram:

My sister: snowboards. My brother: skateboards. Me: charcuterie boards.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Unless I say otherwise, I am always tired.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

May he drop his phone on his face while he’s texting other girls.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I used to look for monsters under the bed. Today I know they are behind some people’s fake smiles.

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