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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

Girls flirt by orbiting your general location like an electron.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

If my wife doesn’t win anything on this $1 scratch ticket, it’s going to go down as one of the worst anniversary gifts ever.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

Every day, a new coworker asks if you’ve used ChatGPT, and the conversation doesn’t end if you say “No.”

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

Whoever named rice cakes is probably also responsible for Paris, Texas.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

If Microsoft Edge is brave enough to ask to be your default browser, you can be brave enough to ask that girl out.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

I have now learned the moonwalk. It’s visually the coolest way to get fresh dog poop off the soles of your shoes.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

Y’all shivering in this cold cause them Shein jackets made outta paper towels.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

When you scream into your pillow, the memory foam never forgets.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

Are you telling me these billionaires don’t have my best interests at heart?!

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

Washing my hands in the sink and then wiping them on my cat, like a towel.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,695

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Slack:

Growing up, I didn’t think the expensive addiction that would ruin me would be Heinz ketchup, but here we are.

Going viral on Snapchat:

We keep a potato masher in a drawer because sometimes it’s fun to not be able to open that drawer.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I thought my mixed signals were perfectly clear.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

If I was a stray cat, I’d follow you home and let you domesticate me.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I used to judge cat owners for giving in to their pets’ whims too easily, but holy shit, these animals are relentless and would starve themselves to organ failure just because one time, weeks ago, they had a taste of some ‘better’ food.

Spotted on Telegram:

People who don’t talk to themselves are the weird ones.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

I deliberately don’t go to bed early. I don’t want to look like I could be useful for anything the next day.

Breaking via Snapchat:

I can’t believe bedtime used to be a punishment.

Spotted on Messenger:

Grocery stores should have baskets in the middle of the store for those “I really overestimated how much I can carry” moments.

Spotted on Telegram:

Why a bug would spend such a long fraction of its short life immobile on my ceiling beats me.

It’s weird how horses can run so fast but still suck at every other sport.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Looks like horses didn't get the memo about being all-round athletes. 🐎🏃‍♂️ Maybe they should stick to what they know best and leave the basketballs and tennis rackets to someone else! 🏀🎾"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

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Social Media Stars ⭐

97 shares on Facebook this month:

Іf you’re sad about being alone on Valentine’s Day, just remember that nobody loves you on any other day of the year either.

45 shares on YouTube this month:

I’ll kill the vibe, so you don’t have to.

19 shares on TikTok this month:

“Comparison is the thief of joy!” Well, not if you’re better than everyone else.

11 shares on Reddit this month:

I wear a lot of clothes for someone who hates doing laundry.

61 shares on Telegram this month:

Social media needs to crash for like a year so everybody can snap back into reality.

16 shares on Facebook this month:

My patience is like a gift card, not sure how much is left but lets give it a try.

85 shares on Slack this month:

Arguing through text will have you standing in one spot for 40 mins.

92 shares on Telegram this month:

Every retail employee should get to hit one customer a year and there is no way for customers to tell if they’ve used it yet.

20 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Welcome to your 40s: here’s ten pounds.

99 shares on YouTube this month:

I said “cool tattoo” to be nice not because I wanted to hear the 45 minute origin story.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Live, laugh, lie to the doctor about how many drinks you have per week.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I have this ability where I can look at someone’s profile picture and determine whether they are evil or not.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Why don’t straight men and lesbians hang out like straight women and gays do?

10 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’ve never been hit with gay allegations, you’re not fly enough.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Being an adult is when you ask the babysitter when you should be home.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

The best thing about dogs is you can act like something really good just happened, and they’ll instantly start celebrating too. They have no idea what the context is; they’re just always ready to party, no matter what.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

For once, I would just like to underthink a situation. How do you guys do that?

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Some people should have read-only access to the internet.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I like riding by myself so I can replay 1 song 111 times with no complaints.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’re soft, don’t come to my house, cause my kids will roast you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,434

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

I miss you when I wake up before you.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

I’ve surpassed the need for coffee, for I have evolved into a higher state of awesome.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

I’ve named my couch American Idle.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

Toxic girlfriend who goes through her boyfriend’s calculator app and asks why he’s doing the equations he’s doing.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

One of the most embarrassing things in the world: walking downhill.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

My only plan for this weekend is to move just enough so the people don’t think I’m dead.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

“Your sock has a hole in it!” Yeah, no shit, that’s how I get my foot in there.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

Full-time employment will have you making lists of thoughts to think.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

I didn’t lose an hour of sleep. The hour of sleep lost me.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

Oh, gross. I didn’t know there was protein in this powder. I was only drinking it for the lead.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on X:

It’s so much easier to suggest solutions when you don’t know too much about the problem.

Shared recently on X:

You don’t scare me, I was married once.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Before you try to save someone, make sure you’re not interrupting their karma.

Making waves on Instagram:

Sometimes I wanna delete all my social media and throw my phone into a river.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Now if you’ll excuse me, today’s bad decisions aren’t going to make themselves.

Seen just now on Threads:

Welcome to Twitter: yeah, none of us can sleep either.

Just shared via Messenger:

They say water is the source of life, which is true because you can’t make coffee without water.

Going viral on WeChat:

In my opinion, those who go jogging on a Sunday morning certainly don’t have a comfortable sofa.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Working out consistently yields results, but mannnnnnn…… the laundry.

Spotted on Discord:

Jokes on you, unknown number. I barely answer my phone for people I know.

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