Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

You didn’t get fired, your job “fumbled you”.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

Depression is embarrassing because sometimes it makes you miss appointments and not return phone calls, and when the fog starts to lift, you gotta do a whole bloody apology tour.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

People argue with me more in my head than they do in real life.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

Reading for pleasure implies the existence of reading for pain. They’re calling it a PhD.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

If we were both crows, I’d bring you shiny things.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

Why are there people outside at the same time as me? It’s my turn.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

January 1st always feels like a Sunday, regardless of what day it’s actually on.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

According to the web, caffeine deficiency is a life threatening condition for people around you.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

Having a peanut allergy has to be so wild. Like, imagine you’re at a baseball game and there are people chucking bags of rattlesnakes past your head.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI get absolutely no work done and then throw their coworker under the bus as soon as their boss asks about it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,475

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

If I had a tiny girlfriend, I would love to throw her across gaps so she can pull levers and open doors that get me to her part of the level.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I miss when you could touch a TV and feel its fur.

Making waves on YouTube:

Being excited to get in bed really is a different level of adulting.

Trending via Pinterest:

Gonna get my eye looked at today. Usually it’s the other way around.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

I miss being the age where the most devastating thing in the world was when my sandwiches got cut into squares instead of triangles.

Just landed via Pinterest:

You do not have to prove your own humanity to others. Unless it’s a captcha.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Girl, you gotta try this healing potion. It’s called beer.

Live now on WeChat:

At my age, I see no good reason to act my age.

Spotted on X:

If I were lost and all I had was a compass, I would still be lost.

Going viral on Facebook:

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

I’ve already picked out my sweatpants for New Year’s Eve.

Funny quote about relaxed New Year's Eve plans in comfy sweatpants.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs a fancy dress when you have a trusty pair of sweatpants ready for the biggest party of the year? 🎉 Comfort is the new couture, baby! 💁‍♂️ #NewYearsEveGoals"

, , , , , , , , , , ,

Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

27 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Edging my house plants by putting them next to the window when it rains.

31 shares on Snapchat this month:

I hate being responsible for my own meals because I’ll either spoil myself or starve for most of the day.

50 shares on YouTube this month:

“Twister 3” should be told from a cow’s POV.

96 shares on Slack this month:

If my dog knew how many photos I have of him sleeping, he’d file a restraining order against me.

48 shares on Slack this month:

Nurse: “This may hurt.” Me: “My life hasn’t been much fun either.”

27 shares on Facebook this month:

Dear Math, I don’t want to solve your problem, I have my own problems to solve.

35 shares on Snapchat this month:

I kind of can’t wait for my generation to be bumping 90’s hip hop, rap, and heavy metal at the old folks’ homes.

47 shares on WhatsApp this month:

69. Some might call it nasty. I call it a romantic dinner for 2.

77 shares on Threads this month:

When I die, I want to come back as a speed bump so I can piss people off.

47 shares on Telegram this month:

Men’s jeans have bigger pockets to help them carry all their audacity.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Meetings are great because who doesn’t like being held hostage?

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Convinced my kid her harmonica didn’t work because the instructions were missing.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m either extremely productive or staring at the wall like I’m in a Victorian painting.”

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Not pretty enough for Instagram, not funny enough for Twitter. Welcome to WhatsApp status.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

You ever notice how fans of the worst music always focus on the meanings of the songs instead of the actual music?

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Aside from cocaine, has anyone figured out what that little pocket on your jeans is for?

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Praying none of y’all are unwrapping podcast equipment.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Reverse cowgirl is not a fair trade because, why do you get a view of my sexy back, and all I’m seeing are your toes throwing gang signs?

9 folks are currently checking 👀

If you need me, I will be at the library sniffing old books.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Why is judge the only job where you can bang a little hammer to make people shut up? I’ve needed that in literally every job I’ve had.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,502

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

…and so ends another week of me not becoming unexpectedly rich.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

I love being home and doing absolutely nothing and never contributing to society.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

Current state of politics: The circus is on fire but the monkey is fine.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

One thing about me is I don’t even need to get drunk to act a fool.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

I caught your husband cheating on you at an Alanis concert, and thought you, you, you oughta know.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

When people ask me what is more important, food or love, I don’t answer because I’m eating.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

Thank you for the opportunity but I don’t think being human is a good fit for me. I’m going to go back to school to become an octopus.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

To the spirits in my walls: going to the store, be right back.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

I’m going to hell in every religion.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

If you don’t want to be in love with me that’s fine. You’re entitled to your wrong and very stupid opinions.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on TikTok:

I don’t need a recipe for disaster. I usually just eyeball it.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Annoyed because I want to live my life without a job.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Tai Chi is so crazy because it’s like throwing a slow motion tantrum.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

I think that McDonalds is putting an unhealthy amount of lettuce in the Big Macs these days.

Just shared via Instagram:

If I’m ever in a coma, please put chapstick on my lips.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

If I was lying down and someone came up and gave me tons of kisses and smooshed my face, I’d love it. I don’t know what my cat’s problem is.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Interrupt my sleep and I’ll interrupt your breathing.

Making waves on X:

Whoever is dating my ex, all I can say is: cheat first!

Broadcasted on Messenger:

I’m not athletic, but I’m good at jumping to conclusions.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but throw away your disgusting dish sponge.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴