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Commentary:
"Words of wisdom from a harmonica connoisseur: Buying a used harmonica is like sharing a toothbrush, just don't do it! 🎶🚫 #MusicHumor #HygieneFirst"

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

By the time my CVS receipt finished printing, I was eligible for another prescription refill.

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2 months ago

another, CVS, finished, humor, i, joke, pharmacy, prescription, receipt, refill, shopping, time, waiting
Peak delusion is believing that a paragraph will make someone treat you better.

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2 months ago

belief, better, communication, delusion, expectations, humor, paragraph, relationships, someone, treat
I’m staying up past midnight this New Year’s eve. Not to welcome the new year, but to make sure this one is over.

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2 months ago

celebration, eve, holiday, humor, joke, midnight, new, new year, past, resolution, staying, staying up, time, year
Therapy is expensive, getting lost in the woods and never being seen again is free.

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2 months ago

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What do people do with all the extra time they save by writing ‘k’ instead of ‘ok’?

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2 months ago

communication, efficiency, humor, k, language, ok, people, slang, texting, time, writing
Dear recipe websites. I don’t need your life story. Just give me the recipe.

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2 months ago

cooking, frustration, give, humor, i, just, life, life story, me, need, recipe, simplicity, story, website

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

33 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Welcome to parenting! The only hobbies you have left are the ones you can do in the bathroom.

74 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I wish flies spoke English, so I could say, ‘Hey, if you don’t leave right now, I am going to kill you so hard.’

91 shares on Telegram this month:

My ex said I had commitment issues but this giant jar of Nutella says otherwise.

41 shares on Slack this month:

I make her eyes roll back. Not in bed though. I’m just annoying.

17 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Caught the bouquet at the funeral.

98 shares on Messenger this month:

What’s a polite way to tell someone you hope they get mauled by a bear?

91 shares on Slack this month:

Your card declining when you know you have money is a very funny experience.

91 shares on Twitch this month:

Dating is just wondering why someone is single and then slowly figuring it out.

86 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Even Hotmail is hotter than me.

14 shares on Slack this month:

I finally used a screw from the random screw collection I’ve been accumulating for 25 years, and I’ve never felt so alive.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

Don’t believe in yourself, you can’t do it.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

My door camera alerts are all just me stepping outside to see how warm it is.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

My favorite thing to do is nothing.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

Dating someone from Twitter is like believing a stripper loves you.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

My body is a machine that turns traumatic experiences into 10 likes on X.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

Why do coffee beans smell so good, and coffee breath is like bleh?

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

So I think the mammals have now ravaged this planet long enough. It’s time for the reptiles to take over again.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

I love Fleetwood Mac, but “thunder only happens when it’s raining” is just not true.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

You didn’t get fired, your job “fumbled you”.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

Unless you fell off the treadmill, no one wants to hear about your workout.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

Online shopping gives me a reason to live for another 3-5 business days.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I tell people I rearrange my furniture to change things up, but we all know it’s to annoy my husband.

Going viral on Slack:

Sometimes somebody will share something from way back in my timeline, and I’ll think, “Oh God, what all did they see to get there?”

Trending via Telegram:

Therapy isn’t enough. I need to run my brain through the dishwasher.

Trending via Discord:

Welcome to your 40s, you now respond to every younger person telling you their age with “Jesus Christ”.

Trending via YouTube:

If someone asks you if you’re in the queue, what they actually mean is “you’re really shit at queuing, aren’t you?”

Seen just now on X:

Dating me is super easy. I text you at 8; you reply at 8:00:01.

Just landed via Twitch:

Sometimes my toddler throws stuff on the floor and then shouts “OH NO” and that’s kind of like what politicians do.

Spotted on Reddit:

I love hard, but I stupid harder.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Freddie Mercury, Venus Williams, and Bruno Mars walk into a bar. They didn’t planet that way.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’ve learned a lot over the years, but the best advice I can ever give someone is never buy a used harmonica.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

By the time my CVS receipt finished printing, I was eligible for another prescription refill.

Peak delusion is believing that a paragraph will make someone treat you better.

I’m staying up past midnight this New Year’s eve. Not to welcome the new year, but to make sure this one is over.

Therapy is expensive, getting lost in the woods and never being seen again is free.

What do people do with all the extra time they save by writing ‘k’ instead of ‘ok’?

Dear recipe websites. I don’t need your life story. Just give me the recipe.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨