Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • If you want to complain about my driving at least calm down and get off my hood first.
  • Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.
  • Your 20s are for lusting after furniture you can’t afford actually.
  • My retirement plan is recording a hit Christmas song. I just need to learn how to sing and write music.
  • “What’s a random act of kindness you’ve done for a stranger recently?” I helped a bunch of teens buy alcohol and cigarettes the other day.
  • Caught my husband staring at me again. He’s probably weighing his pros and cons.