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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

I’ve started ripping my shirt in half like Hulk Hogan when I mean business. Long story short, I’m looking for a new job.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

If by ‘leg day’ you mean a day that we put your legs on my shoulders, then yes, I love leg day.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

Every outdoor cat should be given a little cowboy hat and a gun.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

I wonder if my guardian angel and my future husband’s guardian angel are in a group chat trying to coordinate.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

You should never donate to people that collect money for marathons. They just take your money and run.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

Hobbies include fake smiling while waiting for people to stop talking.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

Babe, are you okay? You’ve barely responded to my telepathic messages.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

People say I act like I don’t care. It’s not an act.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

Is it possible to die of horniness? Asking for a friend.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

“I asked ChatGPT.” Okay, well, I asked my mom.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,464

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

Nudes are outdated. Send me a video of you reading out loud so I know you’re not dumb.

Making waves on Telegram:

I found my first grey pubic hair today, but I didn’t freak out; unlike everyone else in the Zoom meeting.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Watermelon. The fruit that comes with a workout.

Trending via Discord:

People who quit their jobs before having a backup job lined up ain’t scared of nothing.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I’m at the age where drinking a cup of coffee now makes me feel like Popeye scarfing down a can of spinach.

Going viral on Slack:

I would be more patient if it didn’t take so long.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

“I’m disgusted by how many of you still use Spotify. I use a fair trade, ethically conscientious mom-and-pop platform called Apple Music.”

Going viral on Twitch:

Hello, hi. Don’t invite me anywhere until next year. The money is finished. Regards.

Going viral on Slack:

I used to really want to be understood. Now I mainly just want things like snacks and juice.

Going bananas on Discord:

My CV is so good, companies are still reading it for 9 months.

Just did my own taxes, I should be in jail by Friday.

5 days ago

Funny Quotes

Humorous quote about self-inflicted legal trouble with taxes, playful and witty in tone.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who knew filling out forms could be a crime spree? 😂🔒 #TaxFraudInTraining"

financial, Friday, humor, i, jail, joke, just, own, responsibility, self-assessment, tax

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Social Media Stars ⭐

94 shares on Reddit this month:

Hello, I’m looking for the people who said “I’ll always be there for you”. Has anyone seen them?

83 shares on Messenger this month:

As a Dad, you always want your kids to be prepared for real life, that’s why trolling them is so vital.

63 shares on Discord this month:

Saying “shut up” before skipping the YouTube ad is literally necessary.

74 shares on Facebook this month:

Bought an eggplant, imma grow my own eggs.

23 shares on Messenger this month:

No matter how much Polynesian food you eat, you always want Samoa.

12 shares on Threads this month:

He took my last fry, your honor.

90 shares on Instagram this month:

Dating apps are no place for meeting your soulmate. The best way to find your soulmate is to tweet really good.

85 shares on X this month:

If Microsoft Edge is brave enough to ask to be your default browser, you can be brave enough to ask that girl out.

99 shares on Messenger this month:

You couldn’t pay me to do this year again.

36 shares on YouTube this month:

The breathing exercises from the birth preparation course are only needed once the child has reached puberty.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

My kids asked me what games I used to play on my iPad as a kid. I told them I used to speak into a fan to sound like a robot.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

The week before your period doesn’t make any sense… until you realize it’s the week before your period.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

I hate when people call my phone! I don’t use it for that.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

There’s no better feeling than coming home and immediately changing into your Adam Sandler fit.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

No more bare minimum, I want the moon and the stars. Maybe even a planet at this point.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

“You tryna hang?” Yeah bro, myself!

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

Onion rings? I’m answering.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

Desperately seeking my soul, mate.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

All I’ve ever wanted is to look good naked, hope that someone can take it.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

I know I’m almost 40 because I had a few drinks last night and woke up this morning thinking: Oh no I bought so many socks online last night.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Through pottery, we domesticated rocks.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

I can’t believe I slept good all night. What a rush.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I wish I was as tired in bed at night as I am after lunch at work.

Live now on Messenger:

I don’t wanna meet your family, bring my plate to the car.

Trending via WeChat:

Wouldn’t it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer and come out wrinkle free?

Going viral on TikTok:

How old were you when you found out people in porn aren’t actually in love?

Trending via Discord:

If I ever say “with all due respect”, please understand that there is none.

Making waves on Telegram:

Rental car companies seem so insanely helpless at their one job. You show up at the airport, reservation in hand, and they’re like, ‘Wait, really? You wanted a car? Sorry, you totally caught me off guard.’

Just shared via TikTok:

Kinda sucks that I actually own a skeleton but don’t get to show anyone until I die.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Engagement photo shoots are so funny as a concept. Like girl, we believed you.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Just did my own taxes, I should be in jail by Friday.

To anybody who thinks being self-employed means you don’t have to work for a boss you hate, I have terrible news.

Some people are wise, some folks are otherwise.

I don’t hold grudges. I just remember facts very aggressively.

I’m too old to be jingling all the way, I’ll jingle til about five thirty.

The term “bisexual” is so confusing. Are you sexual twice a week or once every other week?

I’m naturally funny cause my whole life is a joke.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Just did my own taxes, I should be in jail by Friday.

Keep the laugh going 😂

To anybody who thinks being self-employed means you don’t have to work for a boss you hate, I have terrible news.

Some people are wise, some folks are otherwise.

I don’t hold grudges. I just remember facts very aggressively.

I’m too old to be jingling all the way, I’ll jingle til about five thirty.

The term “bisexual” is so confusing. Are you sexual twice a week or once every other week?

I’m naturally funny cause my whole life is a joke.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨