Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

Telling your child their sibling is still asleep a very effective way to get them to practice their instrument.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

Brainwashing is always considered terrible and horrible. But there are many brains that would benefit from a wash.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

My age is news to me every single time I remember.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

Maybe your dog is barking at my luggage because he doesn’t enjoy his job, officer.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

Due to personal reasons, I’ve decided to become your problem.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

Why procrastinate now when you can always procrastinate later?

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

I have consumed so much potato salad the last couple of days, I’m sweating mayo.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

Spent the day decorating the house for Christmas and my wife spent the day re-decorating the house for Christmas.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

I have an emotional support chicken roasting in the oven.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

Who can better express pain and grief and misery than a man with a harmonica?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,744

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

It’s funny how quickly you become difficult if you don’t always just say “yes”.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

I haven’t even gone to bed yet and I already can’t wait to get home from work tomorrow.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

The way men eat when they’re single is nothing short of dehumanizing.

Live now on TikTok:

Flip me over like a cassette tape, and play me again.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Everyone hates math until their paycheck looks funny, then all of a sudden you know trigonometry.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I was not made for a 9 to 5; I was made to eat pasta and lay in the sun like a lizard.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Every time I see a dog with its head out a window, I know it’s having a better day than I am.

Breaking via Telegram:

Don’t wait for later to eat the cake. Do it now, before another mammal of your household finds it.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Gonna toot my own horn here because I made it through another day without turning any of my feelings into felonies.

Making waves on WeChat:

At this point, if a clown invited me into the woods, I would just go.

Liking sports is great because you’ll have a bad day, then here your team comes to make it worse.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like my team and I are in a competition to see who can ruin my mood faster! 🏆🤦‍♂️😂

bad, bad day, day, disappointment, great, here, humor, liking, sports, team, worse

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Don’t worry, baby, the back pain is because your wings are growing.

0

2 months ago

baby, back, back pain, growing, growth, humor, pain, reassurance, wing, wings, worry
Judging by the hair on my couch, I’m surprised I have any cat left at all.

0

2 months ago

animal, cat, cleaning, couch, hair, humor, humorously, i, judging, left, mess, pet, surprise
(Making small talk with a couple) So have you guys ever cheated on each other?

0

2 months ago

awkward, cheat, conversation, couple, ever, guys, making, relationship, small, small talk, talk
Mrs. Doubtfire is my favorite movie about violating a custody agreement.

0

2 months ago

agreement, comedy, custody, custody agreement, disguise, doubtfire, family, favorite, favorite movie, film, humor, movie, mrs., Mrs. Doubtfire, parenting, violation
Every time I have to leave the house and be around people I remember why I hate having to leave the house and be around people.

0

2 months ago

anxiety, around, dislike, dislike socializing, every, hate, having, homebody, house, humor, i, introvert, leave, people, personal, personal space, relatable, remember, social, social anxiety, socializing, solitude, space, time, why
I only buy cookware with the handles that somehow get hotter than the pot itself.

0

2 months ago

buy, cooking, cookware, handles, hot, hotter, humor, i, irony, kitchen, kitchen humor, pot

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

67 shares on Slack this month:

Show me another rule so I can break that one too.

85 shares on Slack this month:

What have I done to deserve this? Oh yeah, right, I remember.

26 shares on YouTube this month:

In general, I like company, but not when I am with my pizza.

11 shares on YouTube this month:

It’s funny how sometimes you buy a book, then read it in two days, and sometimes you buy a book, and it lives on your bookshelf for 12 years.

89 shares on Reddit this month:

He had the nerve to call me pretty. I’m gorgeous.

71 shares on Pinterest this month:

My superpower is holding onto stuff for years and throwing it away exactly one week before I need it.

34 shares on X this month:

I miss them days if you couldn’t rap, you didn’t.

53 shares on Telegram this month:

You’re in his DMs, so am I, but I am way funnier.

43 shares on YouTube this month:

I just sneezed and farted at the same time. I think my body just took a screenshot.

21 shares on Reddit this month:

“You don’t load the dishwasher right,” I said to my wife just before it permanently became my job.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

You want me to do Pilates? The thing that killed Jesus?

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

Asking him what his favorite dinosaur is on the first date to determine compatibility.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

Stop eating cakes with the fakes and come eat a bundt with a cundt.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

I don’t think I’ve ever made the right amount of pasta.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

Why do babies stare at you like they know you from somewhere?

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

Your secret is safe with me and my sister.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

Be yourself cause no one wants to be like you!

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

My bed is from Ikea, so it’s more unstable than i am.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

If he has other girls who make him smile, be different and make him cry.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

When the job market is so bad that you’re going to follow your dreams instead.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Reddit:

Some of you are out here driving like your turn signal’s free trial ended and you’re all out of blinks.

Just landed via Twitch:

We work all week to work some more around the house all weekend long. Isn’t life grand?

Making waves on YouTube:

Every time the universe sends me a sign, I’m like, okay, but I think I’ll wait for a signier sign.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

You know you’re getting old when you get mad at some random car parked outside your house.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but if you talk on speakerphone in public, everyone around you hates you.

Spotted on Snapchat:

You give my middle finger an erection.

Spotted on Messenger:

Me and my best friend saying, “Hey, who are we to judge,” after spending 6 hours gossiping.

Just shared via WeChat:

I’m so thankful I live on the planet that has pizza.

Going viral on Reddit:

No one is shocked when a defibrillator doesn’t work.

Shared recently on YouTube:

It’s now socially acceptable again to clap when the plane lands.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Liking sports is great because you’ll have a bad day, then here your team comes to make it worse.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Don’t worry, baby, the back pain is because your wings are growing.

Judging by the hair on my couch, I’m surprised I have any cat left at all.

(Making small talk with a couple) So have you guys ever cheated on each other?

Mrs. Doubtfire is my favorite movie about violating a custody agreement.

Every time I have to leave the house and be around people I remember why I hate having to leave the house and be around people.

I only buy cookware with the handles that somehow get hotter than the pot itself.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨