Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

I googled my symptoms, and I just need a day with you in the mountains.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

Yeah, I can explain that gap on my resume, I tried to move a picture in Word.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

Refusing to make eye contact with anyone while I eat my banana.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

Welcome to your 40’s: you have big plans tonight. No, you don’t.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

Never share a secret with a clock. Because time will tell.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

There needs to be a separate grocery store for people who actually know what they’re doing.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

Perhaps the most universal American experience is your mom being like, “Wasn’t he such a good dentist? He’s in prison now.”

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

Turns out that ending meetings with “have the day you deserve” has made me some enemies at work.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

They should invent a day where I feel normal.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

Everyone on the bus thinks that they are the main character, when in reality the main character is the bus.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,887

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on YouTube:

If my coworker doesn’t stop asking questions on this Zoom meeting, I will drive across town and slap his face on the call.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Not all people have bad neighbors. The ones next door have a great one.

Just landed via Slack:

The difference between coffee and your opinion is that I asked for coffee.

Just landed via Instagram:

I finally got 8 hours of sleep. Took me four days, but whatever.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I don’t understand baby oil. What are we greasing up all those babies for?

Live now on Threads:

Spotify Wrapped isn’t enough, I want an Excel spreadsheet of my listening habits.

Just shared via WeChat:

Sometimes I want to go back in time and punch myself in the face.

Going viral on Messenger:

You ever look at yourself on the self-checkout camera and think, “wow, I better write my will.”

Just shared via Telegram:

I wish people knew how good I can sing when I’m alone in my car and in my shower.

Seen just now on Discord:

You’re no Sultan of Swing, buddy, you’re hardly a Governor of Groove.

Lois Lane said, “Clark?” like she didn’t just make out with that same jawline in spandex twelve hours ago.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Clearly, Lois needs to schedule an eye exam. 🦸‍♂️👓💋

ago, clark, Clark Kent, hours, humor, jawline, just, kent, kiss, lane, lois, Lois Lane, relationship, romance, said, same, spandex, superhero

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

You did all that terrible driving just to end up right next to me at the stop light.

0

2 months ago

driving, end, just, light, me, next, rage, right, road, road rage, stop, stop light, terrible, traffic
My friend thinks he’s smart. He said onions are the only food that makes him cry. So I threw a coconut at his face.

0

2 months ago

coconut, cry, face, food, friend, humor, i, joke, laughter, onions, smart
Being late to work should never be that serious. At least I came?

0

2 months ago

arrival, attitude, being, being late, came, humor, i, late, least, management, never, punctuality, serious, should, time, time management, work
The way my phone’s facial recognition pretends not to recognize me, you’d think I dated it.

0

2 months ago

date, facial, facial recognition, humor, i, irony, me, phone, phones, recognition, relationship, technology, think
You know you’re a bad cook when the dog won’t lick the plate.

0

2 months ago

bad, bad cook, cook, cooking, culinary, culinary skills, disaster, dog, humor, kitchen, kitchen disaster, know, lick, pet, plate, skills
According to the BMI chart, I am too short.

0

4 months ago

am, BMI, body, body image, height, humor, i, image, joke, short, shortness, too

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

19 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I actually think it’s quite beautiful that you have to be the one to save yourself.

57 shares on YouTube this month:

The ‘b’ in ‘subtle’ totally is.

54 shares on Discord this month:

Liberté. Egalité. Second Coffeé.

85 shares on YouTube this month:

Do goalies ever get lonely during a game?

29 shares on Reddit this month:

When people tell me “you’re going to regret that in the morning”, I sleep until noon because I am a problem solver.

94 shares on WhatsApp this month:

They should make a drug that recreates the feeling of having your number called earlier than expected.

84 shares on Twitch this month:

If food delivery apps had never been invented, I would either be wildly rich or dead.

33 shares on Twitch this month:

People just don’t stop, collaborate, and listen like they used to.

60 shares on Telegram this month:

I can’t blame this generation too much for doing stupid stuff. My generation thought seven Police Academy movies were a good idea.

35 shares on Reddit this month:

Pretty girls don’t compete. We sit pretty, count blessings, and ignore weird energy.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

Might put on a bikini and run through your DMs.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

There will be people in your life that say you have too many books. Those are not your people.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

I’ll see you in court (at the marriage registry) (I love you)

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

Adulthood is saying “but after this week things will slow down a bit” over and over until you die.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

My favorite part about going camping is the part where I stay at home, and I don’t go camping.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

Learning to be Alpha from YouTube.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

Rich people go to parties. It’s what they do, and somehow we must all watch videos of it.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

I said “cool tattoo” to be nice not because I wanted to hear the 45 minute origin story.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

I am at my Thanksgiving table observing personality disorders that have not been identified yet.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

I told ChatGPT about us.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Twitch:

I would do absolutely anything for my friends, except answer their text messages.

Shared recently on Slack:

I don’t know what i’m going to be for Halloween, so I’m probably just going to put in a tampon and go as a sexy kite.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

The same mosquito kept biting me last night. It probably thought it was at a wine tasting.

Trending via Telegram:

Hey, people, my age. Remember going into the computer lab at school?

Going bananas on YouTube:

Adulting is difficult. One minute you’re proud of yourself, the next minute you feel like you’re not doing enough.

Shared recently on WeChat:

The web is the only place where you encourage strangers to follow you. What could possibly go wrong?

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Nature just builds 30 foot trees. Without even pulling a permit.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Police cars should play ice cream truck music when they’re pulling you over for something minor.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Why do women complain about size but moan when fingered?

Shared recently on Slack:

What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger, but also a little grumpy.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Lois Lane said, “Clark?” like she didn’t just make out with that same jawline in spandex twelve hours ago.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

You did all that terrible driving just to end up right next to me at the stop light.

My friend thinks he’s smart. He said onions are the only food that makes him cry. So I threw a coconut at his face.

Being late to work should never be that serious. At least I came?

The way my phone’s facial recognition pretends not to recognize me, you’d think I dated it.

You know you’re a bad cook when the dog won’t lick the plate.

According to the BMI chart, I am too short.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨