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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

We argue about where to go for dinner for so long, it eventually becomes an argument on where to go for breakfast.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

Just saying “Think about it!” is enough to overwhelm many people these days.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

I showered with my boyfriend. My breasts have never been so clean! Wow!

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

How about hold me as tight as you’re holding onto that grudge?

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

I feel like this holiday season, it’s important to remind people of the true meaning of Christmas: ghosts terrorizing rich people in the middle of the night until they agree to pay their employees more.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

You didn’t lock in hard enough if you’re not feeling asexual.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

I generally don’t know what the hell I’m doing, but I’m really good at it.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

Hello, boyfriend? It’s me, girlfriend, from dating?

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

I love people who refuse to follow the crowd. The crowd is always lost, follow your inner compass.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

For the amount of meat you get out of clam, I feel like we could just leave them alone.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,514

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I think I’m emotionally constipated because I haven’t given a shit in months.

Shared recently on Slack:

I’m shocked it offended you, I was certain someone was gonna need to explain it to you.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Imagine hating on me and I’m just sitting there in the corner, in the spotlight, losing my religion.

Just shared via Slack:

Half of all the problems in life can be solved by duct tape. For the rest, you’re gonna have to reboot that computer.

Just landed via Slack:

Why steal office supplies from work when you could take an extra-long bathroom break and steal company time instead?

Shared recently on Twitch:

“Oh, I’d love to but I can’t.” Translation: I don’t want to so I won’t.

Freshly posted on X:

“You’re so funny!” Thanks, I didn’t get laid in high school.

Making waves on Messenger:

I tried to take a picture of myself in the shower, but my camera kept fogging up. I have selfie steam issues.

Breaking via Telegram:

I’m either at work, going to work, coming home from work, sleeping for work, getting ready for work, or thinking about work.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I’m never really sure what to do with my hands when I go jogging, so I don’t go jogging.

Lois Lane said, “Clark?” like she didn’t just make out with that same jawline in spandex twelve hours ago.

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Commentary:
Clearly, Lois needs to schedule an eye exam. 🦸‍♂️👓💋

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36 shares on Instagram this month:

I never sit around waiting for anyone except for the pizza delivery guy.

28 shares on Facebook this month:

My plan is to die young as late as possible.

73 shares on X this month:

For financial reasons, I will be passing away.

84 shares on X this month:

Of course I look tired, it’s hard pretending to be awake.

40 shares on Instagram this month:

Before Facebook, we would hold people hostage inside our homes by showing them photo albums of our vacation.

59 shares on Pinterest this month:

Spending money on disappointing food is a different type of pain.

50 shares on YouTube this month:

Bowling: The most fun you can have wearing someone else’s shoes.

17 shares on Discord this month:

We all know that mirrors don’t lie. I’m just very grateful that they don’t laugh.

81 shares on Pinterest this month:

At 20, I was unstoppable; at 30, I’m just unstartable.

98 shares on Instagram this month:

If I was a star and you were a star, I would wink at you and blink at you and twinkle at you and the earthlings would call it science.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

There are some websites where my password management strategy is to just hit “Forgot my password” every time I need to log in.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

How old is older? Because I’m still waiting for this wise thing to kick in.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Getting road rage alone in my house.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Savannah is one of the only girl’s names that’s also a significant “biome”.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Lord of the Rings is wild cause Gandalf told Frodo he had to go on a super dangerous journey and Frodo was like “Ok, can I bring my gardener?”

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Hike in groups. Bears like to have options.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

The dopamine hit of getting an Outlook meeting cancellation is unrivaled.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

If a tree falls in a forest and doesn’t make a sound, maybe that’s where your kid should be practicing the piano.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

If you wake up early enough, you can go back to sleep for a few hours. Not everyone knows this.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Whatever doesn’t kill you is probably still trying.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,415

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

The best part of my kid graduating was unsubscribing from the school’s text messages.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

The worst part of marriage is when you do something stupid, the best part of marriage is when your partner does something stupid.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

Website: We use cookies to improve performance. Me: Same.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

Note to self: No more bitching about ugly furniture with people at IKEA whose home you haven’t been to yet.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

At the airport, and a wife asked her husband, “Where are our seats?” and he responds, “In the airplane.”

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

You’re 25, stressing like you’re 40, because you want to be rich before 30, am I right?

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

If you can’t look back at your younger self and realize that you were an idiot, you are probably still an idiot.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

I know how to use an abacus as a tambourine.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

I just come here for the free life advice and inspirational quotes from people who’s lives are complete train wrecks.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

The only thing preventing me from moving to Finland is the language barrier and a job.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

They should make a biopic of just some random guy.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I plan the silliest murders in my dreams because all I have to do to get away with it is wake up.

Just shared via TikTok:

I can still drop it like it’s hot. It’s just a lot harder to pick it back up.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Being naked with headphones on is so fun.

Just landed via Reddit:

My body looks like I have a great personality.

Breaking via Facebook:

Everyone hates on the dentist but at least they don’t try to weigh you.

Trending via LinkedIn:

There will be people in your life that say you have too many books. Those are not your people.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I think this man might be the one, I say right before he dumps me and I never hear from him again.

Going viral on X:

I stay up late every night, regret it in the morning, and the next day I do it all over again.

Seen just now on X:

Love low-hanging fruit. Easiest kind to obtain, in my opinion.

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