Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

If I were lost and all I had was a compass, I would still be lost.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

Saving up ketchup packets in the fridge so I can one day open my own restaurant.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

If you can’t handle me at my worst just imagine how I feel.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

Took a bunch of Ibuprofen to keep my posts from being too inflammatory.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

Fact: WhatsApp is the most boring app if you’re single.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

I’m a yapper. I’m a napper. I’m a midnight snacker.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

I’m so old, I used to cry as a child because I fell off my skateboard or bike, not because I didn’t have wifi.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

If you ever need nothing, I’m here for you.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

I have lots of hidden talents. The problem is, even I can’t find them.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

Turns out strange women lying in ponds distributing swords was a better basis for a system of government actually.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

615 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,208

Funny Quotes Topics

17,340

Funny Quotes Images

15,208

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,759

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Discord:

I hate texting someone something freaky at night, and they reply in the morning like it’s still the vibe. Shut up. The sun’s out. I’m pure again.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Future generations will never have to live in unprecedented times, because we’re precedenting the Hell out of everything right now.

Making waves on YouTube:

You should tell different people completely different things about yourself so that they then get into arguments when gossiping about you.

Spotted on Snapchat:

The best part of being a bomb technician is that you can never have a bad day at work. The worst part of being a bomb technician is that you can never have a bad day at work.

Spotted on YouTube:

The last time I said I wanted to try missionary, she sent me to a remote village in Africa.

Shared recently on Telegram:

If I was a mythical creature, I’d be a Sighclops.

Shared recently on Slack:

Saturday nights are for watching zombie shows and dreaming about the apocalypse.

Just shared via WeChat:

This is the wrong generation for people with an old soul.

Spotted on Reddit:

I secretly want you to say no when I offer you some of my cake.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I always feel sleepy, except when I want to sleep.

Marriage is so scary. What do you mean I can’t have my own room?

3 days ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Guess I'll have to make some space in the closet for my dreams of a man cave 😂🏠

commitment, fear, humor, i, marriage, mean, own, relationship, room, scary

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Relationship Status: just tried to pet my dog and he turned his head so I pretended I was reaching for a leaf that was next to him.

0

2 months ago

awkward, awkward moment, behavior, dog, funny behavior, head, humor, i, just, leaf, moment, next, pet, relationship, relationship status, status, tried
Wooden pews are designed to maximize the shame of farting in church.

0

2 months ago

church, design, fart, humor, pew, shame, wooden
No matter how old you are, an empty Christmas wrapping tube is still a fun thing to bonk someone over the head with.

0

2 months ago

age, bonk, Christmas, empty, fun, gift, head, holiday, humor, old, over, playful, someone, still, thing, tradition, tube, wrapping, wrapping tube
Hardly a day goes by without me being reminded that an academic degree has nothing to do with intelligence.

0

2 months ago

academic, being, day, degree, humor, intelligence, me, nothing, reminder
Just say, “My future husband would never do that,” and move on.

0

4 months ago

advice, dating, future, future husband, humor, husband, just, move, move on, never, relationship, say
I know which nation I like best. Hibernation.

0

2 months ago

best, hibernation, humor, i, know, nation, preference, sleep

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

93 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Gwyneth Paltrow, I received the message you sent me last night in my dream and will proceed with the plan.

90 shares on LinkedIn this month:

“Angry on the internet” is such an unfortunate personality.

69 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I shaved my legs today and it was the fastest 3lbs I’ve ever lost in my life.

56 shares on X this month:

I’ve officially reached the age where I don’t want to do anything after 9pm.

20 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m just another dysfunctional train wreck barreling down the tracks with a smile.

100 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You’d think the heat and humidity would steam some of the wrinkles out of my body.

96 shares on Slack this month:

Nobody plays better together than siblings being told it’s bedtime.

12 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m not easily offended, but I am easily annoyed.

68 shares on YouTube this month:

I don’t consider myself anything but average. However, I have aged well.

17 shares on YouTube this month:

Before the internet, people thought that there was only one idiot per town. We were so wrong.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

Suffering from a forehead kisses deficiency (self-diagnosed).

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

Mom asked me what I was drinking the first time I got drunk and I said “breast milk” and now she’s not talking to me.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

Fog. When nature is too lazy to load the complete environment.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

Before ball parks were invented there was pretty much no way to give someone a rough estimate.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

One sec, lemme just find the off switch for my brain.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

The trick of life is to get the sports car before you have to grunt getting in and out of it.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

Having a crush is so stupid. Like, why is this dude in my head at 8 am?

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

Rule number 1 at a concert: Don’t sing while filming!

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

My skin has so much oil, I’m surprised countries aren’t fighting over who controls it.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

Haunted Houses this year are just gonna have the news on.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Instagram:

Quitting my job to focus on decorating the tree.

Broadcasted on Slack:

I enjoy long walks up and down my stairs trying to remember what I was supposed to be doing.

Seen just now on YouTube:

My apologies to your congregation. I totally misunderstood when you asked for missionary volunteers.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

I drive home so quick after work like I’m late for the house.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Even worse than the buzzing of the mosquitoes is the moment when it suddenly stops.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Remember when tweets were like: party rocking with a mouse tonight. Piece of cheese gonna have a big bite.

Trending via Telegram:

The hottest I ever look is when I’m brushing my teeth in my underwear, but it’s very much a ‘tree falls in the woods’ situation.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

People should be able to call in healthy: “Look, I’m not coming into the office today. I feel really good and I don’t want to waste it on being at work.“

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I never had a year with this much thinking. I’ve been thinking since the 1st.

Going bananas on YouTube:

I wish rage burned calories. I would be so skinny.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Marriage is so scary. What do you mean I can’t have my own room?

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Relationship Status: just tried to pet my dog and he turned his head so I pretended I was reaching for a leaf that was next to him.

Wooden pews are designed to maximize the shame of farting in church.

No matter how old you are, an empty Christmas wrapping tube is still a fun thing to bonk someone over the head with.

Hardly a day goes by without me being reminded that an academic degree has nothing to do with intelligence.

Just say, “My future husband would never do that,” and move on.

I know which nation I like best. Hibernation.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨