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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

I think that police officers on foot should wear blue flashing sneakers.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

The final level of being smart is just pretending you don’t know anything to make your life easier.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

“You let your cat on the bed?” I would put her on my life insurance.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

If you’re feeling a little uneasy about the state of global geopolitics, remember to spend as much time on your phone as possible. The more information you ingest as you scroll, the calmer you will become.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

I wait all week for the weekend just to aggressively do nothing in five different outfits.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

Yoga is just slow motion breakdancing.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

Meteorologists are always talking about the weather and hardly ever about meteors.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

Here’s what I’ve learned since I’ve been on social media: I’m not nearly as disturbed as I thought I was.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

I swear the air gets heavier around 6 p.m. on Sundays. You can feel the Microsoft Teams energy approaching.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

I don’t always whoop, but when I do, there it is.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

215 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,484

Funny Quotes Topics

17,554

Funny Quotes Images

15,484

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,625

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Vanilla perfumes are so nice. It’s like walking into a bakery but you are the bakery.

Trending via Reddit:

When you report something to IT and then hear: “Oh! Interesting. We’ve never seen that before.” Is that good or bad?

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Has anyone ever considered that Dr. Pepper could be a gynecologist?

Just landed via Discord:

The biggest lesson employment has taught me is that efficient workers get punished with more work.

Live now on WhatsApp:

“Mom, how did we get so rich?” your father said, “Thanks, nothing from my end,” on thousands of important Zoom meetings.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Dentist appointments are so weird. “Hi, nice to meet you, could you root around in my mouth for a bit?”

Seen just now on Pinterest:

A woman’s G-spot can be found at the end of the word shopping.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I miss when we didn’t know what celebrities thought about anything.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Jackie Chan used to say “I don’t want trouble“ and then break everybody’s legs.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Sorry, I’m late. My alarm didn’t go off because I didn’t set it, because I don’t want to be here.

Men with bibles names be the worst type of people.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, it seems like these men are taking 'Thou shalt not be a decent human being' as a suggestion rather than a commandment!

bible, humor, men, name, people, worst

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

You ever cleaned a room in your house so good that you walked out… just to walk back in to see your work?

0

14 hours ago

accomplishment, back, cleaned, cleaning, daily, daily life, ever, good, house, humor, just, life, observation, room, satisfaction, walk, work
The bad news is I forgot to wear my spaghetti-eating shirt. The good news is I have a new spaghetti-eating shirt.

0

3 months ago

bad, bad news, eating, forgot, good, good news, humor, i, new, news, shirt, spaghetti, wear
I could tell my beard needed a trim when I started seeing some of the pictures my kids were drawing of me.

0

2 months ago

beard, drawing, humor, i, kids, me, parenting, pictures, seeing, self-awareness, tell, trim
I made a smoothie that needs a spoon.

0

6 months ago

cooking, food, humor, i, kitchen, needs, smoothie, spoon
If you are lonely, dim all lights and put on a horror movie. After a while it won’t feel like you are alone anymore.

0

2 months ago

activity, alone, companionship, dim, dim lights, entertainment, fear, fun, fun activity, horror, horror movie, lights, lonely, movie, put
If you say something while exhaling smoke, it is 10 times more profound.

0

2 months ago

comedy, exaggeration, humor, humor style, humorous, humorous observation, irony, observation, sarcasm, satire, say, smoke, smoking, something, style, times, while, wit

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

83 shares on Reddit this month:

Caffeine is not enough anymore, I need to chew on a power line.

14 shares on Slack this month:

If I was on Love Island, I would get wasted and drown in the pool, altering the course of every contestant’s life forever.

52 shares on Pinterest this month:

My mom: sure use any towel. Also my mom: not that one.

35 shares on TikTok this month:

Telling your parents about your problems is like trying to put out a fire with gasoline.

10 shares on Pinterest this month:

Thank you, Facebook memories, for constantly reminding me of the shitty taste in men I had for the majority of my life.

30 shares on X this month:

I always thought that aunts had a lot of money. Until I became one myself.

83 shares on Discord this month:

Lies I tell myself: Just one more cookie. Just one more movie. Just one more minute.

56 shares on Messenger this month:

Underrated life skill: only doing what feels genuinely right and letting everything else go.

41 shares on Facebook this month:

If you’re going to give me some food for thought, it had better be a pizza, or I’m out.

32 shares on Discord this month:

Person: gives compliment. Me: let me give you a brief synopsis of why you are sorely mistaken.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

Architects should try and design a house with no yelling.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

I’m sorry I used air quotes when I said we were friends.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

Me: Hello, darkness, my old friend. Darkness: I have a boyfriend.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

I wish I could turn everyone I love into a trinket, so I can keep them forever, because I am greedy and selfish.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

When I was a kid, we weren’t allowed to use our phones in school. Mainly because the cords wouldn’t reach.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

Forgot how fun it is to post IG stories. I feel like a female filmmaker.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

Coolest part about starting a new job is the immunity to disease you get for 3 months till you get sick days.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

If I like cleaning? Does Sisyphus like his boulder?

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

You don’t have to be crazy to be friends with me. I also train people.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

Nothing says, “I love you,” like an echo chamber.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Twitch:

Can’t, trying to piece together today’s news from social media posts.

Breaking via YouTube:

Telling my coworkers I can’t talk in meetings today because I need to save my voice for concerts this weekend.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Don’t think of it as losing followers, think of it as frustrating bots to the point they go away.

Making waves on Telegram:

That stupid look on my face is my face.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

When you look this sexy, they should let you leave work early.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I love when someone is like “I’m funny because I have trauma and it’s a coping mechanism” and it’s like “Okay, not to add to your trauma, but you’re not funny!”

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

The gaps in my resume are from the space bar.

Making waves on YouTube:

Netflix had enough cash to buy Warner Bros., but cried poor when we shared passwords with our mom.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Men used to go to war, now they want to be the little spoon.

Making waves on Twitch:

Welcome to your 50s, you now take supplements to help your memory, but you can’t remember if you took them today.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Men with bibles names be the worst type of people.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

You ever cleaned a room in your house so good that you walked out… just to walk back in to see your work?

The bad news is I forgot to wear my spaghetti-eating shirt. The good news is I have a new spaghetti-eating shirt.

I could tell my beard needed a trim when I started seeing some of the pictures my kids were drawing of me.

I made a smoothie that needs a spoon.

If you are lonely, dim all lights and put on a horror movie. After a while it won’t feel like you are alone anymore.

If you say something while exhaling smoke, it is 10 times more profound.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨