Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

If your family starts fighting on Thanksgiving, go live.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

Caught my son chewing on electrical wires. So, I grounded him. He’s doing better currently and conducting himself properly.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

I’ve never really had a beach body, but my snowman body is coming along quite nicely.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

I feel like I’m in jail when I’m around unfunny people for too long.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

When people say, “Stop living in the past,” my thought in turn is, “But the music was so much better then!”

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

Instead of writing letters, let’s wait a week before texting each other back so it still feels like it.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

Going to the beach is 99% getting ready for the beach and 1% enjoying the beach.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

Paycheck hit. I’m at Michaels Arts & Crafts supply store telling them to bring out Michael.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just sitting on the couch googling if penguins have knees.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

522 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,115

Funny Quotes Topics

17,265

Funny Quotes Images

15,115

Updated

Dec 25, 2025

Users Online

3,741

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Discord:

I’m not ready to adopt a highway, I can barely raise my own driveway.

Breaking via TikTok:

I swear the air gets heavier around 6 p.m. on Sundays. You can feel the Microsoft Teams energy approaching.

Trending via Threads:

I love ketchup from my head to-ma-toes.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Have you tried making guacamole about it?

Freshly posted on Facebook:

First rule for the new year is to not dwell on what went wrong this year.

Going viral on Twitch:

I feel like you’re allowed to start your day at 4 p.m. if you are pure of heart.

Going viral on Instagram:

Saw a shooting star and made a wish for everyone to stop talking to me.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Due to foreseen circumstances well within my control I will be late.

Trending via Pinterest:

Went for a run this morning. That bee was huge!

Live now on LinkedIn:

Nothing worse than when I turn up to Park Run to find it is indeed going ahead.

Men with bibles names be the worst type of people.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, it seems like these men are taking 'Thou shalt not be a decent human being' as a suggestion rather than a commandment!

bible, humor, men, name, people, worst

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Millennials aren’t having kids because no one’s made lo-fi hip-hop beats to yell at your kids to.

0

2 months ago

beats, having, hip-hop, humor, kids, lo-fi, millennial, millennials, parenting, yell
If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?

0

2 months ago

evolution, hand, humor, irony, mother, parenting
That’s not fat. It’s bonus content.

0

2 months ago

body, body positivity, bonus, content, fat, humor, positivity, self-love
Shout-out to my embarrassingly squeaky ass bed frame that makes me sound more popular than I actually am to my neighbors.

0

2 months ago

actually, am, ass, awkwardness, bed, bed frame, embarrassment, frame, i, me, neighbors, popularity, shoutout, sound, squeaky
I love chatty cats like, yeah, bro, meow meow, you’re so right.

0

5 months ago

bro, cat, cats, chatty, conversation, humor, i, love, meow, pet, right
Fun fact: The confetti you’ll see in Times Square tonight was made from one CVS receipt.

0

2 months ago

celebration, confetti, CVS, eve, fact, fun, fun fact, humor, new, New Year’s Eve, receipt, square, times, Times Square, tonight, year’s

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

94 shares on Messenger this month:

Overthinkaholic!

36 shares on Instagram this month:

Our house is so messy that if we ever disappeared, the police would have no idea if there were “signs of a struggle”.

71 shares on Snapchat this month:

Definitely thought I’d be solving mysteries and unmasking ghosts in a van with a dog by this point in my life.

36 shares on Telegram this month:

Too young to retire, too poor to quit and too fat to strip – so let’s move on.

40 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I hate it when I’m gossiping at work and a customer wants to be served. How rude is that?

33 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Summer body? Folks, I’m cosplaying as a potato that’s seen some things.

11 shares on X this month:

Don’t cry because it’s over. Cry because you have an extra hour to think about it.

78 shares on Snapchat this month:

Are French bulldogs actually French? They seem kinda Puerto Rican.

57 shares on Discord this month:

My soulmate probably seen my posts and deleted me.

60 shares on Telegram this month:

“Seize the day!” No thank you. I will leave the day alone and hope it extends me the same courtesy.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

Why, as a hair, would you even wanna be ingrown. Like why are you doing that?

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

Most people think that T-Rexes can’t clap because they have short arms, but really it’s because they are dead.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

I can literally trace the moment my career died back to when my boss said he was in back-to-back meetings, and I said, “Isn’t face-to-face better?”

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

We should put a tariff on being mean to me.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

A 20% discount sounds great until you realize you can’t afford the other 80%

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

There’s protein in foods that have never been protein before.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

Did anyone ask the daylight if it wanted to be saved?

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

I’ve never used a semicolon with 100% confidence.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

“I’ll run it by the boss” is one of the peak boomerisms you can say as a married man. It feels electric.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

If I go missing and you put my weight on that poster, I swear I’m not coming back.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

We should just cancel April Fools Day this year. No prank can top reality right now.

Shared recently on Discord:

Home is where the tap water doesn’t taste funny.

Making waves on Twitch:

Spongebob wouldn’t even mess with some of y’all. But he’d hang out with me because my heart is pure, and I like to laugh a lot.

Just shared via Telegram:

Me watching any modern ad: How is this ad an ad for the thing it’s an ad for?

Live now on Slack:

When I don’t have money, I stop talking to women out of respect.

Trending via Telegram:

I’ll make direct eye contact while eating a hot dog, just to make you feel weird.

Trending via Discord:

Apparently, responding to a wedding invitation with “maybe next time” is wrong. I know that now.

Just landed via Threads:

Please don’t use fear to manipulate me. Much more effective to use cake.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Situationships are just you pretending you’re okay with getting used until they find someone they actually like.

Seen just now on Slack:

Public transportation is great, but they should invent a type where it’s only me in the vehicle.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Men with bibles names be the worst type of people.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Millennials aren’t having kids because no one’s made lo-fi hip-hop beats to yell at your kids to.

If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?

That’s not fat. It’s bonus content.

Shout-out to my embarrassingly squeaky ass bed frame that makes me sound more popular than I actually am to my neighbors.

I love chatty cats like, yeah, bro, meow meow, you’re so right.

Fun fact: The confetti you’ll see in Times Square tonight was made from one CVS receipt.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨