Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

The neighbor sneezes loudly from the balcony. And because I’m a polite person, I shout loudly: Disgusting!

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

Take one positive friend and one negative friend with you on your next road trip. That way when your battery dies, you can hook cables to them and start your car.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

I like my job, but if I had the opportunity to become a rich housewife, I would take it.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

Twerk unto others as you would have them twerk unto you.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

On the surface: cool as a cucumber. On the inside: squirrel in traffic.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

Babe, are you OK? You’ve barely touched your unread books.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

I was brought up in the wild by hyenas. Times were hard, food was scarce but we had some great laughs.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

Due to inflation, alien abduction no longer comes with free probes. Humans are required to bring their own probes or may purchase a probe on board the spacecraft for a moderate fee.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

For Halloween, I wanna be loved.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

Women are like a fitted sheet. No matter what you do or how hard you try, they just never seem to cooperate.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

4,050

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on X:

Text her when the moon looks pretty.

Making waves on Telegram:

Most of my shoulder workout comes from shrugging when people ask me questions.

Making waves on YouTube:

There’s just one legitimate synonym for Friday: boom shakalaka.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Stop asking a clown why he keeps acting like a clown, ask yourself why you keep going to the circus.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Apparently it’s inappropriate to yell out “Shots, shots, shots, shots” while your child’s getting immunizations at the pediatrician’s office.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Viewing someone’s LinkedIn after they’ve viewed yours to assert dominance.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Nobody bools anymore. In high school, everyone was booling.

Going viral on Telegram:

I think I’m emotionally constipated because I haven’t given a shit in months.

Shared recently on Reddit:

If you watch Home Alone backwards it’s a loving story about a boy that heals two men that were savagely beaten.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Me, having zero balance in my account, viewing houses worth 10 million, and being like, “No, I don’t like the kitchen.”

Men with bibles names be the worst type of people.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, it seems like these men are taking 'Thou shalt not be a decent human being' as a suggestion rather than a commandment!

bible, humor, men, name, people, worst

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The meeting of the Anonymous Pessimists was canceled. It wouldn’t have helped anyway.

0

2 months ago

cancellation, group, help, humor, irony, meeting, negativity, pessimist
I can’t believe I forgot to go to the gym today. That’s like 7 years in a row now.

0

2 months ago

believe, exercise, fitness, forget, gym, humor, i, irony, procrastination, routine, today, year
Wish I could step out of my body and take my own damn pictures.

0

1 month ago

body, frustration, humor, i, own, photography, picture, pictures, self, selfie, step, take, wish
Adulting means growing hair in places you’re not supposed to and losing hair in places you don’t want to.

0

2 months ago

adulthood, adulting, body, changes, growing, hair, humor, life, losing, means, want
With a cat on your lap, you deal better with the crap.

0

2 months ago

better, cat, comfort, companionship, deal, humor, lap, pet, relaxation, relief, stress, stress relief
The world would be a much nicer place if we just turn off the news.

0

2 months ago

humor, just, media, much, news, nicer, nicer place, place, positivity, turn, world

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

84 shares on X this month:

“We will go ahead and make these changes if we don’t hear from you before Friday” is such an elegant way to solve problems.

16 shares on Discord this month:

I miss my kids the most when they go to bed and the mosquitoes go after me because they have no other options.

34 shares on WeChat this month:

Going to ask seven friends for advice and then execute my original plan.

61 shares on TikTok this month:

Whoever coined the term coined the term coined the term coined the term.

71 shares on Pinterest this month:

If I ever look at my phone in the middle of a conversation with you, I’m not reading a text; I’m just looking up the definition of a word I just used a bit too confidently.

16 shares on YouTube this month:

After you’ve been married a long time, you become able to communicate nonverbally. At least, I’m pretty sure that’s why we never speak.

10 shares on Slack this month:

Forget hot girl summer, it’s rot girl summer (laying in bed, reading books, laying under layers of soft blankets).

45 shares on Pinterest this month:

I don’t have mirrors in my house. I mean, who wants to see disappointment everyday?

48 shares on Twitch this month:

I hate being in that mood where nothing’s really wrong but nothing feels right either.

69 shares on TikTok this month:

I always imagined WWIII would be Earth vs. aliens.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

Three out of five times, my intuition is right. Not in casinos, though.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

Blackout curtains are dangerous, because it’s 1 p.m. outside and 1 a.m. in here.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

I was going to cause mischief tonight, but I climbed into my bed instead.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

Unfortunately for the both of us, I really like you.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

Careful, “friend”. One more word about Shakira and you might find out just how fast I can draw this blade.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

Stop telling everyone I’m posting from earth. People don’t need to know where I live.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

I’m not “dating to marry” or “dating for fun.” I’m dating for a secret third reason.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

Unfollowers, take me with you!

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

Today is one of those days that even my coffee needs a coffee.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

A pretty girl like me should be in the sky, sitting on a star.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Telegram:

Can I sell my feelings on ebay, I don’t want them anymore.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I’ve been saving these cleavage crumbs just for you babe.

Just landed via Slack:

I had no idea being an adult would involve so many lotions.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Doing all of this just to die in the end! LMAO!

Going bananas on X:

I’ll marry your mom just so I can ground you.

Making waves on YouTube:

I woke up this morning and my hair looked like a Beatles lyric. Here, there, and everywhere.

Live now on WhatsApp:

I didn’t know that Rome wasn’t built in a day. I wasn’t on that job.

Making waves on Discord:

Working my first office job. Is it normal to have nothing to do?

Shared recently on Telegram:

Divorcing my wife to focus on my porn addiction.

Shared recently on X:

No, they’re not “symptoms of depressions.” They’re Blue’s Clues.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Men with bibles names be the worst type of people.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

The meeting of the Anonymous Pessimists was canceled. It wouldn’t have helped anyway.

I can’t believe I forgot to go to the gym today. That’s like 7 years in a row now.

Wish I could step out of my body and take my own damn pictures.

Adulting means growing hair in places you’re not supposed to and losing hair in places you don’t want to.

With a cat on your lap, you deal better with the crap.

The world would be a much nicer place if we just turn off the news.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨