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Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

Not now, kitten. Mommy’s destroying and betraying herself for nothing.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

I totally get why Leonardo DiCaprio is trying to save the environment for future generations. They could be his girlfriend.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

Dating apps never work for me because I need at least two years of friendship charged with weird sexual tension to even consider falling in love.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

Penguins are just ducks going to a wedding.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

WhatsApp shouldn’t just display “seen”, but also “lies” and “also writes with other girls”!

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

People found guilty of not using punctuation deserve the longest sentence possible.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

Immediately de-escalating an international conflict by posting an angry looking selfie with the caption “Come on, guys.”

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

If we all club together we could raise enough money to buy Monday and have it destroyed.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

Here’s a fun activity you can do with your kids on rainy days when they have too much energy: Go shopping and leave them at home with their dad.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

I make sure to post my political opinions after my selfies have gone viral to cull the herd.

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15,753

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17,766

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Updated

Feb 3, 2026

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Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on X:

It’s messed up that there are a million songs about love, but zero about hopping on a quick call with key stakeholders.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

If you ever get locked out of your house, talk to your lock calmly. Because communication is key.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Coke Zero sounds like a government pledge to eliminate fizzy drinks by 2030.

Going bananas on X:

Not to brag, but my best yoga pose is awkward facing dog.

Shared recently on TikTok:

My life is a constant cycle of waiting for the weekend.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Don’t wait for later to eat the cake. Do it now, before another mammal of your household finds it.

Just landed via TikTok:

The adult in the room just addressed the elephant in the room.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I love when the plot thickens.

Trending via Twitch:

I saw The Blair Witch Project way too young and it made me afraid of projects.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Sex is cool but have you ever had a king size bed all to yourself.

Microsoft: Before you sign in, we need to send you a code. Also, Microsoft: OMG, was that you that requested a code? Also, Microsoft: OMG, someone just signed in to your account.

6 days ago

Funny Quotes

Clever, humorous text about Microsoft's confusing and surprising login notifications.

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Commentary:
Microsoft's paranoia level: Jedi Master 🧙‍♂️🔒🤖

account, authentication, before, code, humor, just, login, microsoft, need, notification, OMG, security, send, sign, sign in, signed, someone, technology

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51 shares on Snapchat this month:

I need a long hot meteor shower.

16 shares on Threads this month:

The problem with self-checkout is that all the cashiers are idiots.

81 shares on Instagram this month:

I just turned on my car’s seat warmer to keep my burrito warm in case you wondered what I was up to.

60 shares on TikTok this month:

Got possessed by a demon once, and everyone was like, “OMG, did you do something with your hair?”

17 shares on Slack this month:

Having a crush on someone as an adult feels like a humiliation ritual.

46 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Gonna close my bank account and keep all my money on me, like Sonic the Hedgehog.

66 shares on Instagram this month:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re searching “Thanksgiving recipes that won’t cause heartburn.”

91 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Waitress: “Do you have any questions about the menu?” Me: “What kind of font is this?

60 shares on Pinterest this month:

I feel like I’m in season 5 of my life, and the writers are just making ridiculous shit happen to keep it interesting.

98 shares on Discord this month:

I need the youth to start reading. Even if it’s the tag on your underwear. Read it.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

Trust my gut? The thing that can’t even handle milk.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

Gatekeeping how insanely handsome I am by looking like total shit all the time.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

Some people are so judgmental, I can tell by just looking at them.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

People moaning and making noise over food makes me so livid I can’t keep it in.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

Don’t forget to whine and complain about Monday today.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

I was born a boy, but according to the packaging, I identify as a family of four.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

In your 20s and 30s, you’ll start rediscovering the niche interests and hobbies you had as a kid. It’s very important you revisit them. Your younger self was actually on to something.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

Runners who smoke need to pick a side.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

The woman that cleaned my house could make a lot of money by threatening to release the before and after photos.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

I love how we didn’t raise the minimum wage because it would make food more expensive, but then just made the food more expensive anyway.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

New COVID variant subscribes you to random podcasts.

Trending via Instagram:

Imagine how scary sharks would be if they wore necklaces made out of our teeth.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I got fired from my job at the massage parlor. No specific reason, apparently I just rub people the wrong way.

Breaking via Facebook:

Do you mind if I smash this object of great sentimental value?

Trending via TikTok:

I’m sick of waking up thinking about the government, and going to bed thinking about the government.

Trending via Facebook:

My doctor just diagnosed me with anxiety and constipation. Now I’m worried shitless.

Just shared via Messenger:

One day you’re young and fun, and the next you’re saying, “I wonder how old this tree is.”

Just shared via Reddit:

Weird me out? No. You’ve weirded me in. Let’s merge souls.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

You truly don’t realize how young 20 is until you’re not 20 anymore.

Going viral on Instagram:

Breaking a heart is considered bad, but melting a heart is somehow good.

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Activity Log ✨

Microsoft: Before you sign in, we need to send you a code. Also, Microsoft: OMG, was that you that requested a code? Also, Microsoft: OMG, someone just signed in to your account.

My daughter asked me what it’s like to be a parent, so I woke her up at 3 AM to let her know that I couldn’t sleep.

Asking the birds outside my window if they know any Metallica.

It’s easy to keep me happy: feed me sunshine in summer — and keep me warm in winter.

Welcome to your 50s, your knees will now decide when you will sit down.

I still can’t believe Aldi sells shopping carts for 25 cents. I’ve got 8 of them now and don’t really even have a use for them, it was just too good of a deal to pass up.

Doctors who give out lollipops really treat their patients.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Microsoft: Before you sign in, we need to send you a code. Also, Microsoft: OMG, was that you that requested a code? Also, Microsoft: OMG, someone just signed in to your account.

Keep the laugh going 😂

My daughter asked me what it’s like to be a parent, so I woke her up at 3 AM to let her know that I couldn’t sleep.

Asking the birds outside my window if they know any Metallica.

It’s easy to keep me happy: feed me sunshine in summer — and keep me warm in winter.

Welcome to your 50s, your knees will now decide when you will sit down.

I still can’t believe Aldi sells shopping carts for 25 cents. I’ve got 8 of them now and don’t really even have a use for them, it was just too good of a deal to pass up.

Doctors who give out lollipops really treat their patients.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨