Mixed signals mean they don’t like you like that. It’s that simple.

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We live in a time where intelligent people are being silenced, so that stupid people won’t be offended.

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The neighbor sneezes loudly from the balcony. And because I’m a polite person, I shout loudly: Disgusting!

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I don’t wanna start the year with any negativity so if you and I have had issues in the past, apologize to me immediately.

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Maturity is when you realize money can actually buy happiness.

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When you try to be humble and say it’s no big deal and they agree with you.

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I’ll never understand why the volume in movies is always mixed in such a way that you can barely understand the dialog and your neighbor gets war flashbacks during action scenes.

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My eye doctor is alarmingly young and when he said he thought I had a chalazion or a hordoleum, I thought he might be referencing Pokémon.

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I forgot how to panic. Help!

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That depressing moment when you start your car to go to work and it doesn’t explode.

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Not me out here checking the growth progress of my potted flowers only a couple hours after I planted the seeds in the first place.