Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

Don’t donate your plasma. It’s a big scam, and they’re just using it to make TVs.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

Walking up to any crime scene and whispering within the crowd, “It’s started again, hasn’t it?” then leaving.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

Why did they call it long distance running and not fardio?

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

I prefer my weighted blanket in human form.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

I miss when The Weeknd made haunted strip club music. Didn’t know how good I had it.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

Congrats to my tween for graduating at the top of his class from eye roll university.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

Dear ads, I have the buying power of a Victorian milkmaid.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

Back to work after the long holiday weekend, so you’re finally away from the relatives you don’t like, and back with the co-workers you don’t like.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

I bought some coconut shampoo today. I got halfway home before I thought, “I don’t even have a coconut!”

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

If you think one of my posts is about you, it isn’t. Except this one.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

4,041

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via TikTok:

And then I thought to myself, “What’s the point of cleaning if my family is going to keep living here?”

Broadcasted on Messenger:

As president, I will allow people to use the same password as before when changing their password.

Just landed via Reddit:

If they cancel the Simpsons, we will no longer be able to see into the future.

Breaking via Messenger:

The longer you go without something, the more comfortable you become without it. That goes for people, too.

Going viral on Slack:

I don’t think fish should be allowed to eat other fish. I don’t know. Just seems weird. That’s like your coworker, dude.

Just landed via TikTok:

Everyone is getting idioter.

Freshly posted on X:

If I text you an accordion emoji, it means you better start acting accordingly.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Pretty annoying when someone unfollows me before I can conduct their exit interview.

Trending via WhatsApp:

His hands wouldn’t stop talking to me, your honor.

Going bananas on Twitch:

4 out 3 people struggle with math.

My AI-generated girlfriend is hotter than your real girlfriend.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like your GPU is working overtime in the romance department! 🤖❤️🔥

AI, comparison, girlfriend, hotter, humor, joke, real, relationship, technology

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Just told my cat I’d give her 500 bucks to stop meowing.

0

5 months ago

bribe, cat, give, humor, ID, just, meow, meowing, money, pet, stop, told
There’s a fat man inside me dying to get out.

0

2 months ago

body, body positivity, dying, fat, fat man, get out, humor, inside, man, me, positivity, self-image
Do you ever find yourself just thinkin’ about bread?

0

5 months ago

bread, craving, ever, food, humor, just, question, snack, thought, yourself
For those who don’t want Alexa listening in on your conversations, they’re making a male version that doesn’t listen to anything.

0

2 months ago

Alexa, anything, conversation, conversations, humor, joke, listen, listening, making, male, male version, privacy, technology, version, want
Keep your friends close, but your smartphone closer.

0

2 months ago

close, closer, connectivity, digital, friends, friendship, humor, keep, life, media, modern, modern life, smartphone, social, social media, technology
Exorcist came by. Says house isn’t possessed, just incredibly poorly built.

0

2 months ago

building, built, came, construction, exorcist, house, humor, just, poorly, poorly built, possession

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

57 shares on Instagram this month:

Another fine day ruined by waking up.

72 shares on TikTok this month:

Best friends: they know how crazy you are but still choose to be seen in public with you.

11 shares on Reddit this month:

Procrastination isn’t a horrible thing. I mean, you always have something to do tomorrow… plus you have nothing to do today.

90 shares on X this month:

I’ve never met a garlic bread I didn’t get on with.

63 shares on Pinterest this month:

If you’re out shopping this week, be nice to the retail workers. It’s not their fault you waited to shop until Mary’s water broke.

48 shares on Messenger this month:

I need a chiropractor for my brain.

58 shares on Reddit this month:

I wasn’t made to hustle and bustle. I was made to dilly and dally.

94 shares on Threads this month:

I’ve done literally nothing all day, except feel guilty about doing nothing all day.

80 shares on Messenger this month:

I’ve been having a rough day for about 5 years now.

81 shares on WhatsApp this month:

That odd feeling when your lunch break is over and you still have to work for another 30 years.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

Terrifying if taken literally—if these walls could talk.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

“Have you asked Chat GPT?” Have you lost your mind?

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

I’ve been having a rough day for about 5 years now.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

Pretty sure the inventor of noise-canceling headphones had a young kid trying to learn an instrument.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

Weddings should have a worst man.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

I wish more modern politics were about trying to stop the fulfillment of an ancient prophecy.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

Making dinner with my left hand, so it feels like someone else is doing it.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

I was dropped as an adult.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

Don’t you hate it when you offer help and the other person says yes?

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

First caveman to see fire: Well, this is a buncha bullshit that no one needs (stomps it out) and I predict that’s the last I’ll ever see of that.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Twitch:

I got all my marriage skills from watching Al Bundy.

Making waves on YouTube:

Oh great, you brought your ancient ancestors with you.

Making waves on WeChat:

Please help my husband and I decide on dinner. We’ve narrowed it down to “It doesn’t matter” and “It’s your turn to choose”.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

When life closes a door, just open it again. It’s a door, that’s how they work.

Going viral on Snapchat:

It’s Mother’s Day Eve so remember to leave out a bottle of wine for Mom when she comes down the chimney.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

If swimming is such good exercise, explain whales.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

You’d think the thing in my house with the most cat hair on it would be my cat.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

I don’t call them exes, I call them whys.

Going bananas on Reddit:

I don’t text. I will contact you telepathically.

Spotted on Pinterest:

You’ll never realize how crazy you really are until you fall in love.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My AI-generated girlfriend is hotter than your real girlfriend.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Just told my cat I’d give her 500 bucks to stop meowing.

There’s a fat man inside me dying to get out.

Do you ever find yourself just thinkin’ about bread?

For those who don’t want Alexa listening in on your conversations, they’re making a male version that doesn’t listen to anything.

Keep your friends close, but your smartphone closer.

Exorcist came by. Says house isn’t possessed, just incredibly poorly built.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨