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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

Shout out to the people getting $400 hotel rooms on Feb 14th to do the same two positions they do at home.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

McDonald’s is finally promoting good health by making their food unaffordable.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

Have we checked all food to see if exploding it makes it into something better or did we just stop with corn?

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

That boring, introverted life you’re living has probably protected you from a lot of harm and bad experiences.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

Every cat is a little celebrity to me.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

I know that we aren’t supposed to self diagnose but I’ve googled all of my symptoms and I’m fairly sure I’m a raccoon.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

“I’m pretty good with money unless I leave my house or have access to the internet.”

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

As a kid, I used to watch The Wizard of Oz and wonder how someone could talk if they didn’t have a brain. Then I got social media.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

According to autocorrect, my favorite Star Wars character is Bob’s Feet.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

Y’all pronounce it data or data?

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15,752

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Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

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Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Slack:

You’re an adult if you’re happy every time the mailbox is empty.

Breaking via Facebook:

When we’re old, the children will use Covid to explain our brain damaged opinions much like we do to Boomers with lead. It is fate.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Nobody has ever been given a cheeseburger and been upset about it.

Spotted on WeChat:

“Devil’s advocate” implies the existence of heaven’s prosecutor.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Women will be like “I know a spot,” and then take you directly to hell.

Trending via YouTube:

They can steal your recipe, but the sauce won’t taste the same.

Just landed via Telegram:

My brain says “Let’s do something exciting today” but my body says “Don’t listen to that fool.”

Shared recently on WeChat:

Why is bacon called bacon and cookies called cookies if you cook bacon and bake cookies?

Going bananas on TikTok:

The most productive species of beaver is the Eager.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

When I say, “I have to be someplace,” what I mean is, “I want to go home.”

My AI-generated girlfriend is hotter than your real girlfriend.

14 hours ago

Funny Quotes

Humorous text highlighting AI-generated romance as funnier than real relationships.

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Commentary:
Sounds like your GPU is working overtime in the romance department! 🤖❤️🔥

AI, comparison, girlfriend, hotter, humor, joke, real, relationship, technology

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52 shares on Facebook this month:

A poorly timed two-factor authentication request will be the thing that finally kills me.

83 shares on Messenger this month:

Whoever first said, “I’m in a pickle,” must have had the weirdest day.

32 shares on Instagram this month:

Boy, did The Shining nail what it’s like being an only child.

51 shares on Discord this month:

Ordering 600 pizzas from Washington, D.C., to rug pull on Polymarket.

47 shares on Twitch this month:

My back hurts too much to lean over anymore, going to have to resort to picking things up with a deep curtsy.

11 shares on Messenger this month:

The food hits different when it ain’t yours.

36 shares on Pinterest this month:

Every morning I wake up and think I have a hangover, but then I realize I didn’t drink, and this is just how I feel now.

81 shares on X this month:

There are too many movies about vampire hunters and not enough about vampire gatherers.

13 shares on WeChat this month:

There are people who leave comments on porn videos.

53 shares on Reddit this month:

I finally got 8 hours of sleep. Took me four days, but whatever.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

I feel bad for Slash. He bought a goofy hat in like 1986 and now he has to wear it until the day he dies.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

Eat whatever you want. If someone calls you fat, eat them too.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

When the salesman from the hearing aid company calls, I stay on the line and answer every question with ‘What?’

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

If I’m wrongly accused of a crime, I’m going to prison. I’m way too introverted to have an alibi.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

Toasters aren’t governed by that little dial. They have free will.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

Please text me back. I’m about to start making stuff up in my head, and the stuff is all bad.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

All billionaires must submit a list of five things they did for society in the last week or their wealth shall be confiscated.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

As a beautiful woman, sometimes the most powerful thing you can say is “ew.”

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

There are some websites where my password management strategy is to just hit “Forgot my password” every time I need to log in.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

Girl who is still crazy: I was crazy back then.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WeChat:

I told my computer I needed a break, now it sends me reminders to stretch while I’m lying on the couch.

Just landed via X:

Unlike smoking, vaping doesn’t reduce your sex drive. It just reduces the sex drive of the people who see you vaping.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Cats spend two-thirds of their lives sleeping, and the other third making viral videos.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Kinda rude when I spend money, and it actually leaves my bank account. But okay.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I have been touched inappropriately by the sun today.

Going bananas on Reddit:

How can I be ready for the future when I’m not even ready to get up in the morning?

Freshly posted on X:

Do you enjoy addiction, anxiety, and urinating? Then coffee may be the beverage for you.

Going viral on Messenger:

My dream DUI is driving a Saab through the Great British Bake Off tent.

Going bananas on Reddit:

I told all my neighbors that I have a twin, so that when I see them in public I don’t have to talk to them.

Just landed via Snapchat:

If an ice cream truck has its music on, are you supposed to pull over and let it pass like an ambulance?

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Activity Log ✨

My AI-generated girlfriend is hotter than your real girlfriend.

If life could stop teaching me lessons, that would be great.

I pretend I don’t care about stuff, but that’s only because I have no idea what’s going on around me at any given time.

I wonder how many calories I can burn petting my cat.

If a woman watches a TV show alone, who answers all of her questions?

Want to lose weight for the summer? Don’t worry, just check in your luggage at the airport. You’ll never see those pounds again.

Betrayal only comes from someone we’re close to. Just like herpes.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My AI-generated girlfriend is hotter than your real girlfriend.

Keep the laugh going 😂

If life could stop teaching me lessons, that would be great.

I pretend I don’t care about stuff, but that’s only because I have no idea what’s going on around me at any given time.

I wonder how many calories I can burn petting my cat.

If a woman watches a TV show alone, who answers all of her questions?

Want to lose weight for the summer? Don’t worry, just check in your luggage at the airport. You’ll never see those pounds again.

Betrayal only comes from someone we’re close to. Just like herpes.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨