Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

I’m already spoiled… please don’t come into my life trying to unspoil me.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

You’re over 35. Better go pee before you leave, pee when you get there, pee while you’re there, and pee before you leave.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

Why didn’t Scooby Doo smell that the ghosts were human?

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

A person becomes 10 times more attractive not by their looks but by photoshop.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

I nearly broke my toe because the coffee table didn’t look where it was going.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

Don’t worry, baby, the back pain is because your wings are growing.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

You never hear anything about Mr. Rubik himself, only about his cube.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

Every time a Taco Bell rings, an angel gets diarrhea.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

Whatever happened calorically this weekend can never happen again.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

If my dog knew how many photos I have of him sleeping, he’d file a restraining order against me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,315

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I hate being responsible for my own meals because I’ll either spoil myself or starve for most of the day.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Once this pandemic ends, I’m legit quitting video games and getting a girlfriend for real.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Very confusing that gross pay is before tax. I always find the number way grosser after tax.

Making waves on Messenger:

My weight loss journey is just the three hours in between meals.

Making waves on Threads:

“How is the job search going?” First of all, that is a violent question. And it hurts me, by the way. And second, how the hell should I know.

Just landed via Snapchat:

If only men knew the power “I made reservations, I’ll pick you up at 7” held instead of “I don’t know, whatever you wanna do.”

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Suffering from a forehead kisses deficiency (self-diagnosed).

Going bananas on Instagram:

One day you’re young and carefree and the next you sneeze too hard and hurt your neck.

Breaking via Threads:

When a lady compliments your facial hair, have the goddamn decency to compliment hers.

Just shared via TikTok:

You can add tears while cooking if you don’t have salt.

My bra isn’t just padded — it’s also filled with cookie and chip crumbs.

3 weeks ago

Funny Quotes

Funny message about a bra filled with cookie and chip crumbs, playful and humorous vibe.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like you've discovered the perfect snack compartment! 😂🍪🧀

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Social Media Stars ⭐

74 shares on WeChat this month:

Managers want a week of silence and meditation in order to be even more of a manager afterwards.

16 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Being called by your real name in a relationship kinda sounds like a divorce.

65 shares on Messenger this month:

I never learned to swim because I didn’t think it would ever be more than an hour since I last ate.

51 shares on Threads this month:

Life is like a roll of toilet paper, the closer to the end you get, the faster it goes.

67 shares on TikTok this month:

Applying lip balm when you know someone’s watching you is a power move.

48 shares on Telegram this month:

The most dangerous drinking game I play, is seeing how long I can go without coffee.

29 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m rearranging the kitchen which is devastating for my husband because now suddenly he remembers where everything used to be.

61 shares on Messenger this month:

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.

77 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Being skinny may be nice, but chicken nuggets are even nicer.

88 shares on Reddit this month:

I lied, there is no sex. You’re helping me repot plants.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

Please, Tinder, add AI to your app. I don’t want to be involved in the modern dating experience. Let a robot do it for me. Let the machines suffer in our place.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

I have to work because the baby is expensive. (I’m the baby.)

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

I am not responsible for what my face does when you talk.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

Celery is 95% water and 100% not pizza.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

“I’ve tasted going back to an ex, and I’ve tasted trying to fix a relationship before it breaks. I highly recommend focusing on your career and going to sleep before 10 p.m.”

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

I love when women move on. It’s my favourite genre.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

I’ve walked the walk, but nowadays I just sit the sit.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

Now if you’ll excuse me, today’s bad decisions aren’t going to make themselves.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

My mom recently asked me how to take a screenshot. At first, I laughed, but then I remembered she taught me how to tie my shoes.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

I don’t want to stand, Apple Watch. You stand.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Slack:

How did they get kids to pose for oil paintings? Mine won’t sit still for 4 seconds for a family photo.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

My cat, who has no job and pays no rent, is apparently unhappy with his fancy new cat food, and I, for some reason, am currently on my way back to the store to rectify the matter.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Had a shower and put on clean pajamas. It was a productive day.

Just landed via Threads:

Restaurant toilets are dangerous! So many of my dates have gone to use them and vanished.

Just landed via Instagram:

Imagine how much better the world would be if everyone set aside their differences and came together as one to buy me a castle.

Live now on Threads:

Have to connect the printer to my new laptop, and my goal is to cry no more than three times.

Trending via Reddit:

I don’t want to do exercise, but I want to have done exercise.

Spotted on Telegram:

I have tasted sending long paragraphs, and I have tasted saying OK. I highly recommend saying OK.

Just shared via WeChat:

My bank assures me my money is safe with them, yet they keep their pens chained to desks and most of them are missing.

Spotted on X:

Robots eating a bowl of cereal that’s actually a bunch of nuts and bolts, you don’t see that as much anymore.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My bra isn’t just padded — it’s also filled with cookie and chip crumbs.

Perhaps we should have further developed natural intelligence before venturing into artificial intelligence.

Every retail employee should get to hit one customer a year and there is no way for customers to tell if they’ve used it yet.

Concert tickets should be 75% off if the artist is really super special to you.

Be yourself cause no one wants to be like you!

My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

Coffee is better when you have no work.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My bra isn’t just padded — it’s also filled with cookie and chip crumbs.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Perhaps we should have further developed natural intelligence before venturing into artificial intelligence.

Every retail employee should get to hit one customer a year and there is no way for customers to tell if they’ve used it yet.

Concert tickets should be 75% off if the artist is really super special to you.

Be yourself cause no one wants to be like you!

My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

Coffee is better when you have no work.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨