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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

I once quit a job, and when my boss asked why, I simply said, “I hate it here.” Best day of my life.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

In university, you can literally tell who had no freedom at home.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

Can’t believe we stayed up and screamed “Happy New Year” for this shit.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

Every time we try to eat healthy, along comes Christmas, Easter, summer, Friday, or Tuesday, and ruins it for us.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

Old age is like a glorious, extended long weekend, but you always know Monday’s coming.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

Dance like China isn’t watching.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

The only downside to dating hot men is that when it ends, he’s still hot.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

Me leaving the house: I hope I don’t see anyone.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

I think Australians should have to go three rounds in the ring with a kangaroo before they eat him.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

The only appointment I’m ever on time for is disappointment.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

239 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,508

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,508

Jan 7, 2026

3,463

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Reddit:

There’s a rhyming Italian expression for saying “take it or leave it” that goes “o mangi questa minestra o salti dalla finestra”. It means “either eat this soup or throw yourself out the window”.

Just landed via Twitch:

“I’ll see” = not coming, never was coming, never even considered it.

Trending via YouTube:

Practicing how I’m gonna explain to the aliens that baseline and Vaseline do not sound the same.

Breaking via Messenger:

When people block me, I just assume it’s for my rugged good looks and killer jawline.

Going viral on Slack:

I want to save money, but all I’m saving are memes.

Seen just now on Threads:

I’m afraid to go to therapy — what if they fix me and I lose my funny?

Trending via X:

The only career advice I have is make every decision that moves you closer to not having to be on LinkedIn.

Making waves on Twitch:

When your kid asks you where the other parent is, they’re really saying that they’d like to speak with the manager.

Just landed via Slack:

Dear everyone. Upset, bored, angry or hungry. I’m here for you. Sincerely, fridge.

Making waves on Threads:

I’m so old, I still keep special moments in my heart and not in my Insta story.

My dad thought Siri would be more helpful finding a lemon ricotta recipe if he used an Italian accent.

2 months ago

0

My dad thought Siri would be more helpful finding a lemon ricotta recipe if he used an Italian accent.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🍋👨‍🍳 "When life gives you lemons, add a touch of 'ciao' and whip up a ricotta masterpiece! 🇮🇹🤖 Dad took Siri's recipe search to a whole new level with his Italian charm. Who knew technology had a taste preference? 🤔📱 #WhenInDoubtAddPasta"

accent, cooking, dad, finding, funny moment, helpful, humor, italian, Italian accent, lemon, lemon ricotta, moment, recipe, ricotta, Siri, technology, thought, used

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Life sucks a lot less when your feet are in a creek, and you forgot your phone in the truck.

0

2 months ago

creek, feet, forgot, humor, less, life, lot, nature, outdoors, phone, relaxation, sucks, truck, unplugged
Instead of writing letters, let’s wait a week before texting each other back so it still feels like it.

0

2 months ago

back, communication, humor, letters, patience, relationship, still, texting, timing, wait, week, writing
Can we normalize arguing with little kids? They’re so rude.

0

2 months ago

arguing, humor, kids, little, normalize, parenting, rude
Every citizen over 18 should be eligible to be drafted into the Postal Service.

0

2 months ago

age, citizen, draft, eligibility, every, humor, military, over, postal, Postal Service, satire, service, should
Cashier: Did you find everything? Me: Did you hide something?

0

2 months ago

cashier, conversation, everything, hide, humor, me, retail, shopping, something, witty
I need something good to watch while I’m on my phone.

0

2 months ago

activity, distraction, entertainment, good, humor, i, need, phone, something, watch

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

56 shares on TikTok this month:

I’ve got 50 minutes to make it look like I’ve been flossing for the last 6 months.

13 shares on WeChat this month:

Stop blaming everyone for all of your problems. Pick one person you hate, and blame them for everything.

52 shares on Threads this month:

There could be a ghost aggressively breakdancing beside you right now and you’d have no idea.

22 shares on Telegram this month:

The prettier you are, the weirder it gets.

11 shares on Slack this month:

It’s so hot the chipmunks are using my bird bath as a hot tub and requesting mimosas and the brunch menu.

58 shares on Pinterest this month:

Hey man, your fly is down. Let me get that for you.

49 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My sister: snowboards. My brother: skateboards. Me: charcuterie boards.

73 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m no expert, but I don’t think the United Kingdom is very united.

94 shares on X this month:

Went outside. Touched grass. Got bit by bugs. Zero stars.

17 shares on Messenger this month:

A vibrator is amazing but it doesn’t call me “good girl” unfortunately.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

That’s just brainslop. You only came up with that by thinking.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Me, gently telling my kids that I ate the rest of the ice cream: Your dad ate the rest of the ice cream.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Does the HDMI cord have the most dominant run of any cord ever?

11 folks are currently checking 👀

“God has a plan for you.” OK, is God open to a little feedback?

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Spice up your work day by drinking your coffee from a flask.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I could easily win an Oscar, I just have other things going on right now.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Not to brag but I don’t even need alcohol to make really bad decisions.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry if I seem sad, I got a new long-sleeve shirt for fall, but I haven’t been able to wear it yet because it’s 94°.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t want to brag or anything, but I can still fit in the earrings I wore in high school.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I may be a chaotic mess, but then so is quantum physics.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

239 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,508

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,508

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,691

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

Now I get why my grandma got up early to have a little coffee by herself.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

Have kids so you can fully appreciate how well your dog listens.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

When someone sits in the empty seat beside you: flattered yet annoyed. When no one sits in the empty seat beside you: offended yet relieved.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

Sobriety: because my standards got tired of lowering themselves.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

You’re the human embodiment of an “ugh.”

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

Females be cheating in healthy relationships, but are faithful in toxic ones.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

I know it’s true because the people on the internet said so.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

I purposely overcook my holiday turkeys so I don’t have to hear anyone at the table say, “moist.”

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

Nobody is meaner to me than me. So take your shot.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

The man who invented the Ferris wheel never met the man who invented the merry-go-round. They traveled in different circles.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Twitch:

I’m just here to make you wish I wasn’t.

Just shared via Slack:

The only way the climate is going to change is if it first admits it has a problem, there’s really nothing we can do.

Spotted on X:

My five-year plan only requires a few acts of God.

Making waves on Instagram:

I’m uncomfortable around tall people. What if they pick me up and put me on their shoulders?

Trending via Telegram:

Seeing a grown man stumble when the train moves is disgusting. How will you provide for anyone?

Just shared via Facebook:

Girls take a picture of their legs in a bubble bath and say “guess where I am”. The library?

Spotted on Telegram:

My friend says to me, “What rhymes with orange?” And I told him, “No, it doesn’t.”

Going viral on LinkedIn:

If you ever get locked out of your house, talk to your lock calmly. Because communication is key.

Just landed via Threads:

She was my chai, I was her cake rusk.

Spotted on TikTok:

Bottle of Worcestershire sauce tipped over in my fridge. The mess is unpronounceable.

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