Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

Ever since I was a little girl, I have loved staying up really late, hanging out with myself, and thinking about stuff and things.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

I want to be a garbage man, so I only have to work one day a week.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

Sitting in an antique chair is weird, like this thing has seen so many butts.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

I hate to brag, but I’ve been the biggest mistake of numerous people’s lives.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

90% of parenting is just thinking about when you can lie down again.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

Why do humans need jobs? Why can’t I just exist and make art and chill with my cat?

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

The billionaires have decided that the people with nothing have too much.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

My doubters will become my grouters when I remodel the bathroom of success.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

Meeting Beyoncé and telling her I loved her in Goldmember and mentioning nothing about her music career, just to see if it throws her off.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

It’s strange that watching paint dry is considered boring but going to an art gallery is considered interesting. That’s just watching paint that’s already dry.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,555

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Sleep is a free trial of death but with ads.

Making waves on Messenger:

So apparently problems don’t go away if you ignore them.

Seen just now on Reddit:

We all got a little Barbie in us (the microplastics).

Spotted on Snapchat:

I love when people start getting filler, and instead of looking younger, it’s just like okay, your face is getting really, really big in all directions.

Going viral on Messenger:

Never in the history of calming down has anyone calmed down after being told to calm down.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Reading for pleasure implies the existence of reading for pain. They’re calling it a PhD.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Sorry, I would love to, but I just made a bunch of rules for myself, and I’m actually not allowed to do that.

Going viral on WeChat:

Can’t. Just put my hair in a bun and that’s just about enough exercise for today.

Just landed via X:

Just once I’d like to buy a house plant that didn’t have the lifespan of a soap bubble.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Off to my crying appointment (therapy).

My ex thinks I’m with someone else, someone else thinks I’m with my ex, everyone wonders where I am. Here I am. Just enjoying my own life.

3 weeks ago

Funny Quotes

Witty quote about independence and confusion, celebrating self-love with humorous flair.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Playing Where's Waldo: Relationship Edition! 🕵️‍♀️😂✨

am, else, enjoying, everyone, ex, here, humor, i, independence, just, life, own, own life, relationship, single, someone, someone else, where, wondering

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

96 shares on Reddit this month:

Lawyers should get walk-up songs in court like how wrestlers do.

53 shares on Telegram this month:

Pet owners be like “this is my pet Snoopy, but their nicknames are Booboo and Thicky Boy!”

79 shares on Messenger this month:

Nothing guarantees running into someone you know in public better than looking like a feral animal on two hours of sleep.

72 shares on Reddit this month:

Sitting with my legs really wide to experiment with gender.

36 shares on Twitch this month:

Plot Twist: Your taxes cheated on you.

48 shares on Messenger this month:

Earth is hard.

14 shares on Messenger this month:

Oh good. Another day.

60 shares on Facebook this month:

Person in murder documentary: This is a small town. Things like this don’t happen here. Me: Um, based on the shows I watch, that’s all that happens in small towns.

55 shares on X this month:

If your wife uses “I” it means she will be doing something. “We” means you will be.

83 shares on Twitch this month:

“I’m either extremely productive or staring at the wall like I’m in a Victorian painting.”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

First date idea: unlock and switch phones with the other person for exactly two minutes and if no one is horrified then the date continues.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

Unfollowers, take me with you!

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

Nasa is launching a satellite to say sorry to the aliens. They’re calling it the Apollo G.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

I don’t understand people who forget to eat. I’m already planning lunch while chewing breakfast.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

People who own banana costumes will wear that shit to anything.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

For as long as that song was, you’d think the Ghost Busters would have mentioned their phone number at least once.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

Being married means mostly shouting “What?” from other rooms.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

Welcome, new followers! It’s all downhill from here.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

Just because I loved you at one point doesn’t mean I will always love you. I’m not Whitney Houston.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

Dads will insist the Masters is exciting while also napping through it.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I’m sorry I lied to you. I only did it for material gain. And to cause you psychological harm. And to prove I’m smarter than you.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Don’t worry, guys. Together we can eliminate logic and reason on social media. I see some of you are already ahead of the game. Way to go!

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Even if there’s a murderer behind me, finish chewing before you tell me.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Don’t rub your happiness in people’s faces this Valentine’s Day. Let the couples enjoy themselves for once.

Spotted on TikTok:

Cloud 9 is a very high place to fall from.

Spotted on TikTok:

Unfollowing girls on Instagram as soon as they get a boyfriend is something I’ll never stop doing.

Making waves on Threads:

My son put his dish in the sink so I rushed him to urgent care.

Trending via Discord:

Nothing fixes your life the way deactivating Instagram does.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Nothing makes me feel more powerful than when I write ‘furthermore’ in an email.

Making waves on Discord:

A dating app for people who are shy called Mumble.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My ex thinks I’m with someone else, someone else thinks I’m with my ex, everyone wonders where I am. Here I am. Just enjoying my own life.

His palm trees are Serengeti, destination wedding, luggage is heavy. There’s vomit on his tux already, Dollar store confetti.

I bought my antidepressants off of Temu and now I glow in the dark.

About to watch Tenet for the first time and I enjoyed it.

All dogs go to heaven, but I never see them in church.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My ex thinks I’m with someone else, someone else thinks I’m with my ex, everyone wonders where I am. Here I am. Just enjoying my own life.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Is there a word for FOMO but it’s already happened and you didn’t know about it when it was happening?

His palm trees are Serengeti, destination wedding, luggage is heavy. There’s vomit on his tux already, Dollar store confetti.

Welcome to Elephant in the Room club, no one talks about it.

I bought my antidepressants off of Temu and now I glow in the dark.

About to watch Tenet for the first time and I enjoyed it.

All dogs go to heaven, but I never see them in church.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨